My Ideal Bridal Bouquet

This is one of my idiosyncratic moments... So here I am, revealing to you all my "ideal bridal bouquet"... I envision myself having a bouquet of sunflowers for my wedding in future... I have not much of an idea why I'm so attracted to sunflowers~~ Don't you think sunflowers seem to be smiling at you everytime you look at them? Haha! No idea when I'd get married since there's no boyfriend in my life now, but I guess it does nobody any harm of imaging my bridal bouquet yea? Hehehehe!!!

There was this song I learned back in the 90's... The first line is like this... "Like a sunflower that follows every movement of the sun, I will turn to You, to follow You, my God..." Apparently, the sunflower will rotate according to the location of the sun (probably due to the auxin in their stems I think)... And that's how our lives as Christians should be... To follow every movement of the One who gives us life - God the Father, Jesus the Son and the Holy Spirit. God creates us in His own image of love, Jesus gives us back our inheritance as sons and daughters of God by coming down to earth and dying for us on the cross, and the Spirit leads us into living the life God has given us. The sunflower receives sunlight from the sun, thus it follows the movement of the sun. Then us, even more, should follow the movement of God.

Here are some samples of bridal bouquet with sunflowers as the main flowers... Aren't they gorgeous, unconventional, yet so bright and beautiful??? *smiles*

BONES

Have any of you ever seen "Bones" on TV? Sadly speaking, I've only watched the first season of Bones and I loved it so much that I'm re-watching it for the second time. Yeah, that's me, watching the dramas, animes, movies that I like for more than one time. One thing that struck me as I watched the episode was this thing called "social awkwardness" that this fictional Dr. Temperance Brennan has...

Then I stumbled upon a blog as I keyed in the phrase "social+awkwardness+define" in Google, and I find myself in awe of how many people in the world face this problem of social awkwardness. I have to admit that I am at many times "socially unacceptable" and face the problem of "social awkwardness" although I seem to be friendly, easy-going, all smiling and nice. Being socially awkward at times, I tend to react abnormally, comparing to other normal human beings. In fact, there's a word used to describe nerd... Geek. I probably am a geek at a level of humanity. LOL!

Today, I faced a situation which I became socially awkward and probably made a few new enemies. I was totally imprudent and rude and impolite and socially unacceptable. When I realized what I did was totally unacceptable to the norm of the society, it was way too late to salvage the situation, except a deepest regret and sincere apology. I was known to be a "faked person", a "hypocrite" to some people, no matter how true I was at that moment to the other person. So many times in life, I have a few friends, who care enough and remain patient despite abnormal outbursts of emotions. Thank God for that! Having said so, it didn't change the one fact - that I am still loved by God who created me to be me. Some of us might think I'm just deluding myself into believing that in a tiny part of the world, somebody still want to befriend me, but I truly believe and feel that God loves me enough to see pass this imprudent me and see the tiny little hope that I'm worth of His love for me.

I don't know what's going to happen to my life after this incident with my colleagues, but I know that God knows and He's my Comforter in the midst of loss and darkness. After all, the bible says that Jesus came not for the righteous but for the sinners (refer Matthew 8:13). This verse allows me this assurance that God still loves me though I've done such a thing so unacceptable socially.

Suddenly I thought of people who are socially unacceptable, who are shunned by many, sometimes including me, because what the person says or does cause people to feel annoyed, irritated and becomes irrational with thinking. I am one of them, but why am I doing things that people do unto me? It reminds me of Felix who serves with his wife in the young adults ministry I'm in... His humility is at this level that he receives and welcomes everybody in the ministry, even the "marginalized" because of their social awkwardness. Because of both him and his wife, I felt comforted when I was placed in a situation where I could no longer hang out or talk properly with the group of people I used to be with. Thanks a lot! Will I be able to emulate this humility which is being passed down to Christ? Will you?

"Can any of you by worrying add a single house to your span of life?"
~ Matthew 6:27 ~

Tagged by Joanne!!!!!

题目[一]写出你的择偶十个条件：
question 1 : write out 10 requirement to be your future bf/ husband.
(the hardest question of all time!)

1. A man after God's own heart
2. Love me for who I am
3. Accept the imperfect me
4. Renewed, serving Catholic
5. Mutual trust and forgiveness
6. Creative
7. Funny / Humorous
8. Romantic
9. *secret*
10. Family man

题目[二]写出你的十个女孩子朋友的名字 [排名不分先后Hor ]
question 2 : write down 10 girl friend's name (not in sequence)

1. Joanne W.
2. Karen C.
3. Mirina L.
4. Yvonne K.
5. Yvonne T.
6. Yvonne Y.
7. MelNic
8. Lidz
9. Jocelyn M.
10. Laura P.

题目[三]写出你的十个男孩子朋友的名字
question 3 : write down 10 boy friend's name

1. Felix W.
2. Jimmy C.
3. Daniel C.
4. Adrian Liew
5. Chris
6. Kevin K.
7. Joannes
8. Ernest
9. Jude Lopez
10. Denis T.

题目[四]写出十个你最近最常去的地方
question 4 : write down 10 places tat u have been visiting quite a lot recently

1. Maktab Nasional
2. My room
3. Kitchen in the house
4. Living room in the house
5. St. Simon Church
6. Sacred Heart Church
7. Servay Likas
8. Joanne's blog
9. Teddy's blog
10. Blogger.com

题目[五]写出你十个最爱吃和喝的东东
question 5 : write down 10 stuff tat u love to eat and drink the most
1. Mushroom
2. Tomato based pasta
3. McD
4. Coffee Bean's Black Forest Ice Blended
5. Starbucks' Hazelnut Hot Chocolate
6. Sweet & sour pork
7. Yogurt
8. Dim sum
9. Steam fish
10. All other types of food

最后，传给十个朋友
Lastly, tag 10 friends

My friends basically don't blog, but I could think of a few names... Donovan Funk, Jimmy Chang, Anthea, Denis (do you blog???) & Teddy! (I wanted to re-tag Joanne, but I let you off this time... Hehehehehe!!!)

Reflection: Psalm 139: 13-14

Do you know God loves us? Do you accept His love? Do you love Him? Do you want to be loved by Him? Do you accept Him? Do you allow Him in your life? Reflect upon it... Seeking God is a journey of a lifetime. Make that decision to start NOW! God Bless!

I'm Forever Yours - Planet Shakers

This is one of my most loved P&W song... I couldn't find the vidz for this song, so I only can ctrl-c the lyrics for your view... It's a lovely song, and what struck me today was "Trusting You and not myself will always lead to blessing"... His way is not my way, but His way is always the best way. Many times we failed to see the "blessing in disguise" because whatever tough times we're in could bring us to a point of blindness. Of course, when the right time comes, He will reveal the blessings, only if we harden not our hearts and we listen to His voice! :)

I'M FOREVER YOURS (PLANET SHAKERS)
I give my all to You
Send me and I will go for You
To the ends of the earth
I'll follow after You
I want the world to know
Your love endures forever

Tell me and I'll obey
This is far greater than sacrifice
Trusting You and not myself
Will always lead to blessing
Lord have Your way in me
Not my will, Yours be done

Here I stand within Your presence
Longing for Your touch
A thousand days cannot compare
To one day in Your courts

Hold me now
And never ever let me go
My Jesus, my precious Saviour
I'm forever Yours

I will worship You forever
I will worship You

Letting Go of You

I have a fine student, who has a wondrously sharp tongue, who speaks eloquently, yet unable to spell the word "protein" properly. It is not about his flaws that I want to talk about, but a question which he asked me during the time when I relieved their class for another teacher.

This was how his question roughly sounds like:
"Teacher, how do teachers let go of their students every year? Like last year's Form 5 students, even I myself feel a bit weird without them in school..."

And this was roughly my answer:
"Well, it doesn't matter whether teachers are able to let go of the students we have, but what's more important is teachers will definitely feel appreciated when the ex-students remember them."

I feel like this student made a difference in my life at that point when he became the trigger to a question of "letting go". Well, at least he made me ponder further... Would God ever able to let me go? Never. But He allows me freewill - the ability to decide and do what I want to do. Yet, He'll always be there to catch me when I fall, to hug me when I'm depressed. I know I'd have a harder time this year to let go of the fifth formers, as I've a deeper bonding with them, but I also beginning to accept the fact that all teachers, including myself, would have to let go when these students under our care are supposed to leave so that they will have a bright future out there. It will be sweet and beautiful when they themselves remember us and love us - the ones who had made a difference in their lives somehow. Like how God made such a huge difference in my life for allowing Himself to be found by me.

That's how great God is. Thank God for the grace and mercy shown. I trust that You have heard what my heart is saying. And You alone knows my desires and wants. Thank You for being patient with me, O Lord! Amen!

Till then... God bless!

Pray for Palestinians in Gaza Strip

I was watching news on NTV7 just now and the latest updates on the bombing in Gaza Strip was on. Please, my dear readers, please pray for ceasefire in Gaza Strip and peace of the world. People got too greedy with what we have until we fail to see the treasure of life given to us from God. Please, please, pray for the victims. Pray for a change of heart of the U.S. government so that they will use their veto power to stop the war instead of opposing peace in the world.

Thanks and God bless!!!

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."
~ John 14:27 (NIV) ~

His Grace is Sufficient for Me

This post is in fact a follow-up of my previous entry... I'd say God works in miraculous ways and never ever say never to anything because we'll never know how things will turn out in the end. God is greater than just this, thus it is hard to fathom His steps and plans. Yet, His plans are always to bless us, to give us joy, to love us. Even at times when He performs disciplinary actions on our wild and erratic behaviours. That's our God.

Today is the Feast of the Baptism of Jesus, and I had been looking forward that our first Life Mass of the year would be celebrated by Archbishop John Lee since like Thursday... Thank God for answering my needs and desires! He was the one... Hehe! I was more than happy not to serve in worship but to sit quietly in the VIP seat of frontest pew. If we refer to Joanne's entry, the title for Archbishop is His Lordship... One point of his homily truly affirmed me of my fear and my uncertainty about the path I should take as I continue serving my students in the form of teaching them Religious Knowledge... He mentioned that our mission is to go out and tell the whole world that Jesus is the Son of God.

"Seek the Lord while he may be found, call upon him while he is near; let the wicked forsake their way, and the unrighteous their thoughts; let them return to the Lord, that he may have mercy on them, and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon."
~ Isaiah 55: 6-7 ~

His Lordship also gave an explanation on these two verses which struck me in the form of affirmation that He is with me in this situation I'm facing in school now... He mentioned that many have gone far away from God and thus we should "seek the Lord while He may be found" because there will come a time when He'll not be found. Also, regarding "let the wicked man abandon his way" is a call for us to conversion and new direction in our lives. We have to know our mission to live in this world... It seemed that as I continue seeking the Lord as this is my season to seek God first above all things, I too have to seek a new direction in the things I'm assigned at this moment. I see it as a sign of affirmation that changes should be seen to with regards to the RK teaching for MN students.

The second affirmation came from Derek when we met him after mass for breakfast... I was listening to his conversation with Joannes about knowing our calling from God... He mentioned about writing down things that give us joy in our lives daily and what areas that cause our anger... The joy in our lives is what God is calling us to, and also God will always call us in a way that will prosper us and not harm us. It affirms me of my calling, which I seemed to just know as a teenager years back. As about faith formation for youth, he mentioned about connecting with them, building relationship with them as the first importance. Syllabus and reference are also important, but we also need to understand that all that we do must eventually lead this group of youth closer to God. We ourselves also need to reflect in our lives the presence of God, our relationship with God.

The third affirmation came when Mirina, Von Koh, Jocey and myself went shopping in Karamunsing. God is so amazing and He made me speechless and filled with joy in Salvation Bookstore. It was direct answer to the dilemma I had on my mind since my first clashing with the "Baby Boomer Generation" of RK teachers. It was a book entitled: "Be the Change: Your Guide to Freeing Slaves and Changing the World". Not that I've never experienced God's direct answers, but I still am filled with awe and amazement of how He affirms us, His beloved children.

After three affirmations on the same day, I'm happy and joyful to know where I am led to by the Spirit of God with regards to this "worry". Thus, His grace is indeed sufficient for me...

"Three times I appealed to the Lord about this, that it would leave me, but he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness." So I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me."
~ 2 Corinthians 12: 8-9

Renewed Spiritual Life?

This week is "week 1" of the school academic calendar, so my battle started already... I put it as battle because I could barely sleep every night, and had to wake up early every morning. Lessons were fine, but there are some hiccups regarding Religious Knowledge teaching material.

I wonder what is the whole purpose of teaching "Religious Knowledge" all about? Showing God to the students by reading the books describing about Him? Or guiding them to personally experience God and His mighty love? Leading them to form their spiritual life? Or just going through the motion because it is easier to do so and be perfect submissive to the rigidity of the so-called "un-renewed" style of Christianity?

I'm blessed with the opportunity to be involved in my early days of youth in youth ministry. Charismatic Renewal of the Catholic Churches began somewhere much earlier than the 90's when I started mingling with CCR people in church. Yet, it made a deep impression inside my heart, causing me to realize the our God wants us to be more intimate with Him, seeing Him as our confidante in fact. As I continue my journey of life, at this moment, indeed this becomes my first purpose in life, also my utmost struggle in life. Yet, to "install" this knowledge inside the head of teenagers is even tougher than earlier. We're basically battling with all the noises of the world to lead this group of people to hear God's tiny, gentle voice in their hearts.

It seemed like yesterday when somebody ever "installed" in my heart this important message: "You have to be M.A.D. in order to M.A.D." which read "you have to make a decision in order to make a difference". And truly so, when it comes to the process of renewal of this generation of young people, if I want to play a part in leading them nearer to God, I gotta make changes and differences in my own life. All that happened in 2008... it happened. Like my previous post, I can't deny there are times when I feel left out, alone without much support from my previous "gang"... But I also can't deny of His blessings, His grace, His mercy, most importantly, His love in my life.

Now back to the point, how can I be M.A.D. enough in order to M.A.D.? Submitting to the rigidity that's been proposed and continue this faith formation in such a "knowledgeable and theoretical" way doesn't seem to reach out to the youth who have the common problem of "seeing is believing". Instead, we seem to be pushing them further and further away from us. Maybe they could be shocked with the incredible amount of knowledge about God and His plan of salvation without knowing why He wants to do so for us... The answer is plain simple - just because He loves us... And all Christians (including Catholics) should be able to transfer this love of God through our everyday lives. Yet, are we doing so? Am I doing so? Are we transfering this love that we receive from God through our everyday lives to the people we're reaching out for? Am I doing the right thing making this stand to hope to see to some drastic changes in the faith formation of my students? Or should I just stay quiet and follow all the instructions laid down together with the text book used for faith formation, just because we have to submit? Is submission an "all the time" thingy?

I've seen the submission of Christ to the cross, the submission of Mary to the conception of Jesus by the Holy Spirit. So beautiful, so noble, so impossible for human beings apparently (reminder: Jesus was truly human, Mary was also truly human). Then again, I also see how Jesus made a difference in His Father's house. How much He made a difference all the time by laying His hands to heal the lepers on Sabbath day despite the facts that scribes and Pharisees were against it, the miracles He performed out of compassion for His people, to heal the blind, to take up that cross. I wonder how long did he ponder to make the decision to perform the miracle when He attended the wedding in Cana when His mom, Mary, asked of His help. That decision He made did make a big difference in the newly-wedded's lives, forever. Imagine if Jesus ran away out of fear instead of making that difference of casting out all fears arising in Him at that moment which He knew He was going to suffer terrible death... What would have happened to the world now? Probably God would have sent terrible flood and drowned all of us, and I won't be sitting in front of my curiously surviving laptop typing this entry.

There was a reading this week that has the phrase taken from 1 John 4:18 about "perfect love casts out all fears". When I reflected and looked upon the crucifix in St. Simon that day during evening mass, this was how I felt. I think Jesus willingly died on the cross because He knows of His Father, our God, so well that He knows the love of His Father was perfect love. This love of God casts out all His fears, anxieties, worries about dying on the terrible cross in order to redeem us from sins that we've committed. And His love for mankind, was also perfect love, which in turn strengthened Him at the cross. I guess, in order to be more and more like our Creator, to be more and more like the Man who saves me by dying on the cross, I have to strongly and firmly believe that this perfect love which I'm receiving all the time from God will cast out all fears in me and guide me in making the right decision.

So I guess, since the world seems to be oppressing me to make that decision to make a difference in the lives of my students, then what I'm doing is definitely what the world hates. Thus, I should continue believing in that tiny voice in me who reminded me about perseverance (that huge word I learned when I was in Form 2).

"You have not chosen Me, but I have chosen you, and ordained you, that you should go and bring forth fruit, and that your fruit should remain; that whatsoever you shall ask of the Father in My name, He may give it you. These things I command you, that you love one another. If the world hate you, you know that it hated Me before it hated you. If you were of the world, the world would love his own; but because you are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hates you."
~ John 15:16-19 ~

Thank and praise God. Amen!

Till then... Pax et bonum.

When is the Right Time?

Like how my nights are turning out to be after three days into work in school again... I first posted a few entries to my Bio Blog, then checked my official email, next thinking of what to write on this blog. After stopping the frequent visits to Facebook, I noticed I have more time at hand to focus on many areas in my life, including prayer time, study time (actually is lesson-preparing time), and rest time... With additional time, I checked out my friends' blogs, and noticed one particular entry in one particular friend's blog which acted like a short circuit to my heart... Let's not focus on what she had blogged about... Focus more on what's wrong with me, being all so emo and all... LOL! Narcissistic quality of mine now!

Ever since letting go of leadership, more than once I'm feeling left out by the group whom I used to hang out with. Ever since letting go of leadership... It was as though I'm no longer really a part of anything that happened in their lives anymore. This is the time when all their birthdays whom I used to celebrate for, I'm deprived of even knowing that a birthday celebration took place, unless I go and stalk blogs or stalking in FB (of which I currently don't do). This is also the time when retreat or meetings for leaders are no longer my concern or in my schedule anymore. There was a time when I actually had tears flowing down when I thought of all that. Pretty depressing, isn't it? Okay, I'm not asking that you, my readers, symphatize with my conditions. I'm just expressing how I really am doing right now, as a normal human who let go of practically everything at the moment because I need to focus of seeking God's love. Only now I realize, sometimes leaders are so busy that we forgot to remember about all others things, except for meetings and retreats and birthday celebrations and sharings and hanging outs with other leaders.

I know God is calling me for something even deeper than just this skin-deep depression and murmur on my deprivation of leadership and "keistimewaan" of leaders. I know His plans are just too perfect for my imperfect eyes to see. I know that there are still sunshines and rainbows beyond the grey clouds looming around me (fyi, it's also drizzling now). I'm reminded again and again about His promises, only I have to be patient...

When is the right time that God will bring me back there again? Patience... Patience... Patience...

"Be still before the Lord, and wait patiently for him; do not fret over those who prosper in their way, over those who carry out evil devices. Refrain from anger, and forsake wrath. Do not fret - it leads only to evil. For the wicked shall be cut off, but those who wait for the Lord shall inherit the land."
~ Psalm 37: 7-9 ~

And as I continued searching on Google for all verses on patience, here's one that struck me:

"When God made a promise to Abraham, because he had no one greater by whom to swear, he swore by himself, saying, "I will surely bless you and multiply you." And thus Abraham, having patiently endured, obtained the promise."
~ Hebrew 6: 13-15 ~

Now I feel so much better, being assured by God's Word that He's going to do what He has promised to do. And all I can do is to be patient... For His right time is never my right time. His time is better than mine. I know He's watering the seeds He has planted in me these days. Even for a normal plant to start growing, it takes patience, sunshine, water and soil, in waiting for the shoot to sprout from the seed.

Thank You, Lord, for the grace and mercy to all Your children, including a tiny me here. Amen!

The Real World at Real Time

"Be strong, and let your heart take courage, all you who wait for the LORD."
~ Psalm 31:24 ~

I guess the phrase "do not be discouraged" is more appropriate for me at this moment. Something happened this morning that caused me to be late to school today. I arrived in school at 11.50 am. Another mistake made when I saw the principal... It was super late and I felt very bad missing class with my F5 students. I hope none of my students have my blog url, but I'd just like to apologize to all who were affected because of my absenteeism this morning. I guess I need to go for confession soon~~~

Yet, this phrase seems to comfort me. Knowing that God is still with me even I made a huge mistake here. As I searched for the verse online (wished my bible has such an index like a search engine at that moment), I was given so many verses on the keywords I used. In fact, another verse which helped to pacify my uncertain emotion is from the book of Tobit...

"Do not be afraid, my son, because we have become poor. You have great wealth if you fear God and flee from every sin and do what is good in the sight of the Lord your God."
~ Tobit 4:21 ~

For once, I really want to be the teacher God calls me to be at this moment. I don't know where He's going to lead me next, but if He's asking me to stay until further notice, He must have a plan that will prosper me, helping me to be who He's preparing me to be in future. I can only continue trusting in Him who created me in my mother's womb, cradle me when I'm in fear, hug me when I'm discouraged, love me when I feel unloved.

"I hereby command you: Be strong and courageous; do not be frightened or dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go."
~ Joshua 1:9 ~

I pray that you who read my blog will not lose hope in this God who sometimes we think play a fool with our lives, because He does it right so that we can learn to be disciplined, well-behaved, loving children of His.

"Sanctify yourselves; for tomorrow the Lord will do wonders among you."
~ Joshua 3:5 ~

A Living Hope

It was the first day of school and everything started anew today... I don't have much time at hand to blog. What I could do for today was to change a new playlist for my blog (yay! some P&W songs which I'd like to intro 2 everyone~) and here's what I can share with you all... The daily reflection for Monday (yesterday) with the links to the readings according to One Bread, One Body. Personally, it was as though an injection to my heart to strengthen me of what is to come. Praise God for His revelations! ^________^ And thank God for listening to my prayers... Indeed, in God alone I hope, in God alone I trust.

Monday, January 5, 2009, St. John Neumann

1 John 3:22—4:6, Psalm 2, Matthew 4:12-17, 23-25
Link to Readings --> http://www.usccb.org/nab/010509.shtml

A LIVING HOPE (see 1 Pt 1:3)

"On those who inhabit a land overshadowed by death, light has arisen." —Matthew 4:16

The Christmas season is a time when a greater number of people commit suicide. Many others are more discouraged than normal because of family breakdowns that intensify at Christmas. At the very time the Hope of the World has come to us at Christmas, greater numbers of people are "without hope...in the world" (Eph 2:12) because they cannot see the light.

Some difficult situations have persisted for so long that it's hard to believe the situation will ever change for the better. "Hope deferred makes the heart sick" (Prv 13:12). We wait so long that we're tempted to be sick at heart, discouraged beyond hope. "But hope is not hope if its object is seen; how is it possible for one to hope for what he sees?" (Rm 8:24)

Jesus comes this Christmas to give us a living, risen hope (1 Pt 1:3) to replace any "dead" hope, which is actually hopelessness. "Hope is the confident expectation of divine blessing and the beatific vision of God; it is also the fear of offending God's love and incurring punishment" (Catechism, 2090). A living hope based on Jesus gives us strength to resist sin (1 Jn 3:3) and expect blessing, even when we are repeatedly faced with difficulties. In fact, in Jesus these constant difficulties and afflictions give us greater virtue and purity, and lead to greater hope (Rm 5:3-4) that overcomes disappointment (Rm 5:5).

"So may God, the Source of hope, fill you with all joy and peace in believing so that through the power of the Holy Spirit you may have hope in abundance" (Rm 15:13).


Prayer: Father, in You I hope; in You I live.

Promise: "Those who keep His commandments remain in Him and He in them." —1 Jn 3:24

Praise: St. John's hope of being ordained was deferred, but God rewarded him with a new vision and ministry for the new world.

Love Phobia (도마뱀)

I watched a korean movie just now on an online movie website, which I think is a beautiful love story and I'd like to share with you all some of the images I searched online. It reminded me of a korean guy who had created some beautiful memories with me some years back. There wasn't anything between us, and now we've lost contact totally, yet, the memories of this guy was pure and untainted. You can read some info on the movie by clicking at the link to IMDb --> Domabaem (2006).

P/S: I know I probably will never get to contact this korean guy again in my life, but I thank God for giving me this part of my life, because it was truly a beautiful memory that brings smiles to my face everytime I remember him. I know he doesn't know of my blog, but I'd still like to take this opportunity to thank him for the memories he had given me, plus the two korean books he gave me as a farewell gift.

호근오빠,고마워!

The Gift of Self

Today is Epiphany - the day when the three wisemen from the east paid homage to little Baby Jesus in the manger. As usual, I was busy jotting down the points of homily during mass this morning. I was filled with joy when I knew that the mass was to be celebrated by Archbishop John Lee. I'm always in awe with his homilies, knowing that it is a call to grow deeper with God. Last time I used to dread his homilies... Now I'm always anticipating his homilies... I guess the biggest impact Bishop had made in my life was the sermon he gave somewhere in July. I remember his question was simple, yet so difficult to answer - "What do you bring to offer to Jesus at mass every time you attend mass?" His explanation was exactly how the song "So You Would Come" by Hillsong is... "Come to the Father, though your gift is small, broken hearts, broken lives, He will take them all..." All we need to bring to Jesus everytime we attend mass is ourselves, our desperations, our disappointments, our joys, our happiness, our sorrows... Everything in our lives is what Jesus wants from us... Yeah, from that day onwards, I knew my life changed. Well, at least my perspective towards Mass changed.

Today, the call is to recognize and follow Jesus. The readings for Epiphany are Isaiah 60:1-6; Psalm 72:1-2, 7-8, 10-11, 12-13; Ephesians 3:2-3, 5-6; Matthew 6:1-12. You can click here for the readings... One part of Bishop's homily that struck me most was about the gospel reading of today... Here's a rough idea of the whole part...

... Many times we talk about ourselves attending pilgrimages. How many times did we also tell others about the quarrels, fights, criticisms, etc. right after the pilgrimages? Like us, the wise men from the East who went on a pilgrimage to find the little baby also have problems on their journey, yet they choose and try to see the signs and follow the star. When they entered the city of Jerusalem, the star disappeared. Being at loss, they went to Herod for help. Apparently, King Herod wasn't really the right person for help, because he didn't know much. At the same time, what Herod did when he heard about the birth of the new King of Jerusalem was to refer to the scribes who were the experts in scriptures. Based on the word of prophets, they predicted that the little Babe will be born in Bethlehem. Thus, the wise men followed the Word, left Jerusalem. Once they left the city, they saw the star again, and they were filled with great joy. When they met with the Baby, they fell down and worship Him. Only God will be worshiped in such a way. Besides that, the wise men gave him everything they have - frankincense, gold and myrrh. After paying homage, they went back to their countries using a different road after being warned not to return to Herod in a dream...

As Bishop continued... He disclosed that the lives of the three wise men were changed. In our current times, as he put it, "when we encountered God, our whole life is transformed and we don't go back to the old life again". We're on that journey, through Christmas, the feast of Holy Family, and now Epiphany... We pray that we can recognize Him and offer ourselves to Him.

Bishop's call to us was this: "Do I have anything to offer to Jesus today?"

He concluded that we should let go of our whole life to Jesus so that we can live in Him and Him in us...

I guess what really struck me hard was that our lives (the wise men) will be transformed after encountering Jesus (paying homage to Baby Jesus in the manger) and thus we should never return to our old self (returning to Herod) but to take a new route back to our home (alternative route back to their home country). It is very symbolic to me, the whole gospel reading, after listening to what Bishop said during homily. In fact, there are so much more in the homily which struck me, but this is what I would like to share with others at this moment. My life is no longer mine, but it is Christ who lives in me and I in Him... I think it is a verse written by St. Paul... It is really true to me now~

So, do you have anything to offer to Jesus today?

Thank and praise God, whose hands are in my life. Amen!

12 Days of Christmas

On the 1st day of Christmas my true love gave to me...

A Partridge in a Pear Tree
The partridge in a pear tree is Jesus the Christ, the Son of God, whose birthday we celebrate on December 25, the first day of Christmas. In the song, Christ is symbolically presented as a mother partridge that feigns injury to decoy predators from her helpless nestlings, recalling the expression of Christ's sadness over the fate of Jerusalem: "Jerusalem! Jerusalem! How often would I have sheltered you under my wings, as a hen does her chicks, but you would not have it so . . . ." (Luke 13:34)

On the 2nd day of Christmas my true love gave to me...

Two Turtle Doves
The Old and New Testaments, which together bear witness to God's self-revelation in history and the creation of a people to tell the Story of God to the world.

On the 3rd day of Christmas my true love gave to me...

Three French Hens
The Three Theological Virtues: 1) Faith, 2) Hope, and 3) Love (1 Corinthians 13:13)

On the 4th day of Christmas my true love gave to me...

Four Calling Birds
The Four Gospels: 1) Matthew, 2) Mark, 3) Luke, and 4) John, which proclaim the Good News of God's reconciliation of the world to Himself in Jesus Christ.

On the 5th day of Christmas my true love gave to me...

Five Gold Rings
The first Five Books of the Old Testament, known as the Torah or the Pentateuch: 1) Genesis, 2) Exodus, 3) Leviticus, 4) Numbers, and 5) Deuteronomy, which gives the history of humanity's sinful failure and God's response of grace in the creation of a people to be a light to the world.

On the 6th day of Christmas my true love gave to me...

Six Geese A-laying
The six days of creation that confesses God as Creator and Sustainer of the world (Genesis 1).

On the 7th day of Christmas my true love gave to me...

Seven Swans A-swimming
The seven gifts of the Holy Spirit: 1) prophecy, 2) ministry, 3) teaching, 4) exhortation, 5) giving, 6) leading, and 7) compassion (Romans 12:6-8; cf. 1 Corinthians 12:8-11)

On the 8th day of Christmas my true love gave to me...

Eight Maids A-milking
The eight Beatitudes: 1) Blessed are the poor in spirit, 2) those who mourn, 3) the meek, 4) those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, 5) the merciful, 6) the pure in heart, 7) the peacemakers, 8) those who are persecuted for righteousness' sake. (Matthew 5:3-10)

On the 9th day of Christmas my true love gave to me...

Nine Ladies Dancing
The nine Fruit of the Holy Spirit: 1) love, 2) joy, 3) peace, 4) patience, 5) kindness,
6) generosity, 7) faithfulness, 8) gentleness, and 9) self-control. (Galatians 5:22)

On the 10th day of Christmas my true love gave to me...

Ten Lords A-leaping
The ten commandments: 1) You shall have no other gods before me; 2) Do not make an idol; 3) Do not take God's name in vain; 4) Remember the Sabbath Day; 5) Honor your father and mother; 6) Do not murder; 7) Do not commit adultery; 8) Do not steal; 9) Do not bear false witness; 10) Do not covet. (Exodus 20:1-17)

On the 11th day of Christmas my true love gave to me...

Eleven Pipers Piping
The eleven Faithful Apostles: 1) Simon Peter, 2) Andrew, 3) James, 4) John, 5) Philip, 6) Bartholomew, 7) Matthew, 8) Thomas, 9) James bar Alphaeus, 10) Simon the Zealot, 11) Judas bar James. (Luke 6:14-16). The list does not include the twelfth disciple, Judas Iscariot who betrayed Jesus to the religious leaders and the Romans.

On the 12th day of Christmas my true love gave to me...

Twelve Drummers Drumming
The twelve points of doctrine in the Apostles' Creed: 1) I believe in God, the Father almighty, creator of heaven and earth. 2) I believe in Jesus Christ, his only Son, our Lord. 3) He was conceived by the power of the Holy Spirit and born of the virgin Mary. 4) He suffered under Pontius Pilate, was crucified, died, and was buried. He descended into hell [the grave]. 5) On the third day he rose again. He ascended into heaven, and is seated at the right hand of the Father. 6) He will come again to judge the living and the dead. 7) I believe in the Holy Spirit, 8) the holy catholic Church, 9) the communion of saints, 10) the forgiveness of sins, 11) the resurrection of the body, 12) and life everlasting.

Epiphany

(Click on the picture to read more on 12 days of Christmas by Dennis Bratcher)

Time Flees, Love Stays

I wonder if I had a similar entry when I first started this blog... Well, this is just another of my ramblings before nesting in my dog nest. Anyway, tomorrow is Epiphany!!! Although it is the end of Christmas season, but it is the brand new start for us. Hence, this entry symbolizes a brand new start of the year... So MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY EPIPHANY!!!

Year 2008 brought me great joy, great sorrow. I wouldn't say I didn't receive the same amount of blessings as everybody did from God, but I would say this road had been a real tough one. I lost so much, gained as much too. This year (2009) is another year of the Lord. I don't know what lies ahead of me, but I know who holds all the tomorrows I have on His hand. Yups, beautiful Lord, wonderful Saviour. Sometimes it is hard to believe in His real presence, but at this moment there is no way I can doubt His presence in my life. Though great sorrow after great joy, I know the love that He brought to me will never change. People may not be able to understand what I had gone through or what I'm going through, but He knows me best. All that are happening is according to His will I hope.

I pray that you who read my entry at this moment will be blessed with a year of love, joy, hope and peace in the Lord, and that all that you do is according to God's holy will... The peace we receive in our hearts is the greatest treasure that one can keep within us. I pray that year 2009 will be a year to remember for us. Just like how year 2008 was. I know, time will pass, memories will be created, but this love that's been given to us from God, it will stay forever. And all I can do is to continue believing in Him, trusting that He will bring me to where He wants me to be, and to continue to grow deeper with Him. Amen.

World Day of Peace (1st January)

Just now, after cooking dinner, it was just nice for some news on NTV7. It had been a while since I watched any news because of the chaos of the world. It is so saddening to see people protesting over something far far away, burning dolls of some symbolic figures in the world, but they failed to see the economic downturn in own countries, neither these people are doing anything to contribute to their families or the country's economy. Well, except contributing to skyrocketing crime rate as well as additional pollutions to the location of demonstration.

When I saw the news on TV, my heart wrenched for the people who suffer because of war. My heart also wrenched for the families of the people who protested on the streets in different countries of the world. Let's not look too far away... In Malaysia, in some cities, certain groups of people are having protest to boycott U.S. goods, etc. because of the recent Gaza Strip carnage. However, many seemed to fail to see the worrying hearts of mothers of those who are involved in the protests, and many probably see through the eyes of TV broadcasters the chaotic condition of the cities in an already chaotic economic condition. Why isn't anybody doing anything that contributes to the word P-E-A-C-E?

I was browsing through The Star Online to check out what is happening to this country and the world, and noticed a tiny news on "119 lose their jobs in school". Would those who care so much for the war and chaotic conditions in Gaza care about the 119 who lose their jobs, mainly sole breadwinners for their families? Would those people donate the money used on printed banners, kerosene, faked dolls of significant figures, unpaid leave from job, etc. to these group of low-income people who are losing jobs? Maybe this is insignificant comparing to the hu-ha out there in Gaza... But are this group of gardeners and security guards so insignificant comparing to the Palestinians? Both are God's children, both are destined to be born into this world by God, but why are we treating them so differently? Even for the sake of sympathy?

In this weary world, who can save the world from perishing? Who can help us, confused people at the end of time? Who can guide us to the right path and show us some light in the darkness? There's only one person - and His name is - JESUS. Probably all we, commoners residing in this world at the end of ages, only need to say a little prayer, forgive everyone, humbly wash every single foot we see, reconcile truly, all for the sake of the wholeness of peace in the world, peace in our hearts.

I attended New Year's Day mass in Sacred Heart in the morning, and I was so happy to be able to hear the preaching of Archbishop John Lee. What truly struck me was the mention of Pope Benedict XVI's message for World Day of Peace. Bishop said that one of the title of Jesus is "Wonderful God, Prince of Peace" and the theme for this year (2009) is "Fighting Poverty to Build Peace". Jesus brings us hope when He was born of Mary in Bethlehem more than 2000 years ago. This hope is the hope of eternal life, a hope of peace to His people on earth. Are we doubting that He can bring us peace in the world? Are we really doing what He's calling us to do?

What Mary did was so simple, yet so difficult for us to even try to copy her... She said "yes" when she didn't really know what was happening, she treasured and pondered over all the things those shepherds told them when they visited her and her new born Babe in the manger, she let go of her son, Jesus, when He was crucified on the cross for our sake... etc... Look! Is it so hard to do? Of course it is, to accept, not resist, and allow God to be God. But that is the beauty of the whole salvation mystery of Jesus born on Christmas, destined to die a humiliating death for us 33 years later, all because of God's love for us. And what did Jesus do? He said the simple "yes" and allowed God to take charge, trusting every single word that He said.

Let me ctrl-c the first two paragraphs of Pope Benedict's message here that I find it important to share:

1. Once again, as the new year begins, I want to extend good wishes for peace to people everywhere. With this Message I would like to propose a reflection on the theme: Fighting Poverty to Build Peace. Back in 1993, my venerable Predecessor Pope John Paul II, in his Message for the World Day of Peace that year, drew attention to the negative repercussions for peace when entire populations live in poverty. Poverty is often a contributory factor or a compounding element in conflicts, including armed ones. In turn, these conflicts fuel further tragic situations of poverty. “Our world”, he wrote, “shows increasing evidence of another grave threat to peace: many individuals and indeed whole peoples are living today in conditions of extreme poverty. The gap between rich and poor has become more marked, even in the most economically developed nations. This is a problem which the conscience of humanity cannot ignore, since the conditions in which a great number of people are living are an insult to their innate dignity and as a result are a threat to the authentic and harmonious progress of the world community” [1].

2. In this context, fighting poverty requires attentive consideration of the complex phenomenon of globalization. This is important from a methodological standpoint, because it suggests drawing upon the fruits of economic and sociological research into the many different aspects of poverty. Yet the reference to globalization should also alert us to the spiritual and moral implications of the question, urging us, in our dealings with the poor, to set out from the clear recognition that we all share in a single divine plan: we are called to form one family in which all – individuals, peoples and nations – model their behaviour according to the principles of fraternity and responsibility.

<Click here to read more - Message of the Holiness>

As much as I can write articles like this on my blog, I also have to admit that with my own strength, there is practically nothing I can do to contribute to world's peace, not even the courage to protest against the government. Yet, in my own tiny ways, I hope my call according to Him will be made an instrument to educate more people, so that in future, the world can be a more peaceful place to live in.

My apologies for the readers who felt offended with my entry or think this is a long entry (like what happened to the previous ones), but somehow I feel the need to write something more constructive tonight, just before my holidays end and I return to the rightful position of working young adult in an education organization.

I'd like to end this entry with a writing I took from a prayer booklet, "Heart Speaks to Heart", written by Cardinal Newman:

God has created me
to do Him some definite service;
He has committed some work to me
which He has not committed to another.
I have my mission --
I may never know it in this life,
but I shall be told it in the next.
Somehow I am necessary for His purpose --
if indeed I fail, He can raise another.
Yet I have a part in this great work:
I am a link in a chain,
a bond of connection between persons.
He has not created me for naught.
I shall do good, I shall do His work;
I shall be an angel of peace,
a preacher of truth in my own place,
while not intending it,
if I do but keep His commandments
and serve Him in my calling.
Therefore I will trust Him.

New Year's Eve in Jude/Samson Malinggang's House

Dot, Karen and myself went over to Jude/Sam's house after mass in St. Simon... I'll post a separate entry on the Feast of Mary, Mother of God and my reflection... Here are some snippets of what happened...

Jude was BBQ-ing chicken wings and hotdogs for us in front of his house

I think Dot was fairly warmed by the red wine offered by Sam's daddy

Brown, the runaway dog residing in Sam/Jude's house... Apparently his name was "lai fu" (来福) and he used to stay in Christina Liew's house... LOL! He looked tiny in the photo, but actually he's not that small after all~~ LOL! Oh yeah, something special about him, he never allows anyone to touch him...

Another dog, unknown of her origins. She's just there to join the party I think... LOL!

This was how Karen and I looked like after a cup of wine... Hehe! Muka mabuk but actually tak mabuk... :P My "kidz" is growing up... Haha!!! Now can drink already~~~

Jude and me... Just for fun~~ Hehe!

Malcolm, lighting the mercun (firework) inside the plastic bottle...

Nahh... Caught in action ~ Bian n Simon with the bunch of fireworks...

Malcolm, success was written on his face~~~ LOL!

Another shot of Karen and me...

Dot n me... Haha! I do look a bit red here... LOL! Dot, how many cups of red wine alrdy?? Lol!

The foggy group photo...
(Front left: Jude, Marianna, Harold; Behind left: Sam, Lilian, Karen, me, Dot, Simon, Malcolm, Bian)

Clearer pic...
(Front left: Jude, Marianna, Harold; Behind left: Bian, Karen, my, Malcolm, Dot, Simon)

Pretty self explanatory yeah? It was fun all right... Hehe! I really enjoyed the night with you guys... The companionship was great, the food was delicious, the drink was nice, the music was entertaining~ Thanks for the invitation~ Thanks, Dot, for asking me along... Heheheh!!! :)