Kiddo Behaving Like Adult

Early this morning, barely 15 minutes of being in this workplace, I have experienced a complete embarrassment against the statement I made a couple of weeks ago about "treating teens like an adult" and then humiliation about my very own brood of teens. I am a protective mother hen by nature, but it made me look like a complete, total fool in front of my brood when their discipline mistress walked in and asked them to surrender their mobiles right in front of me, the form teacher, even before I get to address the issue. I hate the feeling of betrayal from my brood. It's as though they never heard what I said for the past five months. All I could think is "YEAH-LAH, TREATING THEM LIKE ADULTS HUH??!!! RIDICULOUS!!!"

I'm told that if I treat teenagers like children, they will behave like one. And they will perhaps take the responsibility of a semi-adult if we start treating them like one, and giving them the responsibility they ought to start experiencing. I'm not angry that my fellow colleague walked in and started questioning my brood of teens, but I am totally out-witted by these people whom I cared so much and relied to survive starting 2011. I believed in their potentials, despite the fact many have given up hope. Now I start questioning myself... Am I doing it right to allow them to take responsibility of their own behavior by telling them what's right or wrong, and let them decide which way they want to head to? Am I wrong to believe in them? Now, I really have no idea how to treat them. Yes, I told them I don't care what they do anymore. My abilities are way below what they need.

I still believe that a child will behave like a kid if we treat them like one. And it is so dang obvious when everybody else is treating them like kids, hence they behave like KIDS.

Indeed, enough is enough. How much I have, I gave all away. Now, I have no more.

Model Christian

Any idea what a model Christian is like? Recently a concerned individual reminded me that the eyes of all my colleagues are on me because I've been appointed as the Religious Knowledge Coordinator of my school, hence I'm expected to be a "model Christian teacher".

Who am I to have such an honour that all my colleagues must have their eyes on the way I behave myself in front of these people? And all these whiles, I thought that everybody who is a Christian (doesn't matter Catholics, Orthodox, Evangelical Protestants, Adventists, etc.) has the same role to play -- to be a role model to the world base on the Christian values which we are supposed to live out. So what exactly was the intention of this concerned individual to remind me of these eyes who have been staring at me since the first day I received my new job description?

Today is Ash Wednesday, the start of Lenten season. The first day of the 46 days before Easter. A day of fasting and abstinence from meat. The gospel reading today (Matthew 6:1-6, 16-18) in fact answers my question of the "model Christian" issue which had been bothering me for a few days. St. Matthew in his gospel spoke about how we should behave when we give alms, pray and fast. And all was summarized here:

"Be careful not to parade your uprightness in public to attract attention; otherwise you will lose all reward from your Father in heaven."
~ Matthew 6:1 ~

It is a call to learn meekness and humility from Jesus through His life on earth. It is a call to spend time with God. And God sees all our actions and thoughts, whether we like it or not. Yet, with His love, all our flaws are forgiven. In fact, He sometimes uses our flaws as His tool to shine His light to the people around us. Let God use us to the fullest in this season of Lent.

As for me, yes, I will work on being a model Christian, and live my life for Christ's sake, but I'd also invite everyone else who profess he/she is a Christian to do the same, instead of criticising how another Christian should live his/her life. Like what Jesus said, "Let anyone among you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her." (cf. John 8:7)

Stalker Online

I just got a message on my cbox noting that my own student confessed that she is stalking me on my blogspot and Twitter.. Haha! What irony! The moment I've decided to post entries on blog, I know that it is basically public. Not to mention "my involvement" with Twitter and Facebook and Friendster... Not forgetting the comments I posted on various blogs too.. LOL! Well... I found an interesting cartoon online when I typed the word "stalkers" on Google Image. Smiles... The original idea of having this blog is for me to murmur about things, especially God and my journey to be more like Him. I welcome everybody to read me on my blog. In fact, I'm happy that my student is keeping a blog. She loves writing and I do pray she'll be a great journalist one day =)

Renewed Spiritual Life?

This week is "week 1" of the school academic calendar, so my battle started already... I put it as battle because I could barely sleep every night, and had to wake up early every morning. Lessons were fine, but there are some hiccups regarding Religious Knowledge teaching material.

I wonder what is the whole purpose of teaching "Religious Knowledge" all about? Showing God to the students by reading the books describing about Him? Or guiding them to personally experience God and His mighty love? Leading them to form their spiritual life? Or just going through the motion because it is easier to do so and be perfect submissive to the rigidity of the so-called "un-renewed" style of Christianity?

I'm blessed with the opportunity to be involved in my early days of youth in youth ministry. Charismatic Renewal of the Catholic Churches began somewhere much earlier than the 90's when I started mingling with CCR people in church. Yet, it made a deep impression inside my heart, causing me to realize the our God wants us to be more intimate with Him, seeing Him as our confidante in fact. As I continue my journey of life, at this moment, indeed this becomes my first purpose in life, also my utmost struggle in life. Yet, to "install" this knowledge inside the head of teenagers is even tougher than earlier. We're basically battling with all the noises of the world to lead this group of people to hear God's tiny, gentle voice in their hearts.

It seemed like yesterday when somebody ever "installed" in my heart this important message: "You have to be M.A.D. in order to M.A.D." which read "you have to make a decision in order to make a difference". And truly so, when it comes to the process of renewal of this generation of young people, if I want to play a part in leading them nearer to God, I gotta make changes and differences in my own life. All that happened in 2008... it happened. Like my previous post, I can't deny there are times when I feel left out, alone without much support from my previous "gang"... But I also can't deny of His blessings, His grace, His mercy, most importantly, His love in my life.

Now back to the point, how can I be M.A.D. enough in order to M.A.D.? Submitting to the rigidity that's been proposed and continue this faith formation in such a "knowledgeable and theoretical" way doesn't seem to reach out to the youth who have the common problem of "seeing is believing". Instead, we seem to be pushing them further and further away from us. Maybe they could be shocked with the incredible amount of knowledge about God and His plan of salvation without knowing why He wants to do so for us... The answer is plain simple - just because He loves us... And all Christians (including Catholics) should be able to transfer this love of God through our everyday lives. Yet, are we doing so? Am I doing so? Are we transfering this love that we receive from God through our everyday lives to the people we're reaching out for? Am I doing the right thing making this stand to hope to see to some drastic changes in the faith formation of my students? Or should I just stay quiet and follow all the instructions laid down together with the text book used for faith formation, just because we have to submit? Is submission an "all the time" thingy?

I've seen the submission of Christ to the cross, the submission of Mary to the conception of Jesus by the Holy Spirit. So beautiful, so noble, so impossible for human beings apparently (reminder: Jesus was truly human, Mary was also truly human). Then again, I also see how Jesus made a difference in His Father's house. How much He made a difference all the time by laying His hands to heal the lepers on Sabbath day despite the facts that scribes and Pharisees were against it, the miracles He performed out of compassion for His people, to heal the blind, to take up that cross. I wonder how long did he ponder to make the decision to perform the miracle when He attended the wedding in Cana when His mom, Mary, asked of His help. That decision He made did make a big difference in the newly-wedded's lives, forever. Imagine if Jesus ran away out of fear instead of making that difference of casting out all fears arising in Him at that moment which He knew He was going to suffer terrible death... What would have happened to the world now? Probably God would have sent terrible flood and drowned all of us, and I won't be sitting in front of my curiously surviving laptop typing this entry.

There was a reading this week that has the phrase taken from 1 John 4:18 about "perfect love casts out all fears". When I reflected and looked upon the crucifix in St. Simon that day during evening mass, this was how I felt. I think Jesus willingly died on the cross because He knows of His Father, our God, so well that He knows the love of His Father was perfect love. This love of God casts out all His fears, anxieties, worries about dying on the terrible cross in order to redeem us from sins that we've committed. And His love for mankind, was also perfect love, which in turn strengthened Him at the cross. I guess, in order to be more and more like our Creator, to be more and more like the Man who saves me by dying on the cross, I have to strongly and firmly believe that this perfect love which I'm receiving all the time from God will cast out all fears in me and guide me in making the right decision.

So I guess, since the world seems to be oppressing me to make that decision to make a difference in the lives of my students, then what I'm doing is definitely what the world hates. Thus, I should continue believing in that tiny voice in me who reminded me about perseverance (that huge word I learned when I was in Form 2).

"You have not chosen Me, but I have chosen you, and ordained you, that you should go and bring forth fruit, and that your fruit should remain; that whatsoever you shall ask of the Father in My name, He may give it you. These things I command you, that you love one another. If the world hate you, you know that it hated Me before it hated you. If you were of the world, the world would love his own; but because you are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hates you."
~ John 15:16-19 ~

Thank and praise God. Amen!

Till then... Pax et bonum.

Eatable vs. Edible

I hope I won't be annoying another person by posting this entry... But as a teacher myself, I felt the need to clarify about these two words, EATABLE & EDIBLE. I was being commented that it was a mistake to use "eatable" when described the food I cooked.

My sentence was something this:
"I'm happy because at least the food was eatable."

And the eyes that looked and said something like this:
"Is that such a word as eatable? It's supposed to be edible."

And as I reflected upon what went by the past two days (which was enjoyable, spiritually upbuilding sort of activity), I had in mind these two words... And thus I checked the Concise Oxford Dictionary 10th Edition to confirm my own language usage. (I've been brought up using the word "eatable" to describe food that I can eat... Furthermore, my dad used to be an English teacher before he retired a few year back...)

Here are my findings:
eatable - adj. fit to be consumed as food, n. (eatables) items of food

edible - adj. fit to be eaten, n. (edibles) items of food

So, in my opinion as an English teacher, eatable is more suitable to be used in my sentence if were to compare the accuracy of words, because anything ranging from pills, drugs all the way to food, I can use the word edible. However, for the word eatable, it is specifically mentioning that the object is fit to be consumed as food.

Blogging about it is just another way to upgrade my English and letting new knowledge flows through my blog to my readers. I hope there is no hard feelings about it, and my apologies if there's any inconvenience caused.

Here are two visual examples, I used dog's items because it is more obvious, because both the dog will normally use their mouth and teeth...

EATABLES FOR DOGS - DOG FOOD

EDIBLES FOR DOGS - CHEWING

Till then... God Bless!