You are still afraid to die. That fear is connected with the fear that you are not loved. Your question "Do you love me?" and your question "Do I have to die?" are deeply connected. You asked these questions as a little child, and you are still asking them.
As you come to know that you are loved fully and unconditionally, you will also come to know that you do not have to fear death. Love is stronger than death; God's love was there for you before you were born and will be there for you after you have died.
Jesus has called you from the moment you were knitted together in your mother's womb. It is your vocation to receive and give love. But from the very beginning you have experienced the forces of death. They attacked you all through your years of growing up. You have been faithful to your vocation even though you have often felt overwhelmed by darkness. You know now that these dark forces will have no final power over you. They seem overwhelming, but the victory is already won. It is the victory of Jesus, who has called you. He overcame for you the power of death so that you could live in freedom.
You have to claim that victory and not live as if death still controlled you. Your soul knows about the victory, but your mind and emotions have not fully accepted it. They go on struggling. In this respect you remain a person of little faith. Trust the victory and let your mind and emotions gradually be converted to the truth. You will experience new joy and new peace as you let that truth reach every part of your being. Don't forget: victory has been won, the powers of darkness no longer rule, love is stronger than death.
Saturday, 20 September 2008
After 1 month 10 days
I'm back from the long silence... I'm officially on ministry break. As much as I know our ministry requires leaders to be there, I know I can't give what I don't have. Thus, after struggling for so long, I've decided to take a ministry break after extensive sharing with the coordinator. It is approved! LOL! Now is the time to mend the brokenness, repair the blockage, renew myself in the Lord. Praise God for His grace!
There is this relationship which I held on dearly which I pray that it will be mended in time to come, to regain the glory, not for ourselves, but for the Lord whom our hearts are anchored to. Time will come, but now, only prayers can work miracles onto the healing which seemed so unlikely unto the relationship. People categorized it as friendship, to me, it is a relationship. Any form of connections I have with people, it is already considered as a relationship to me. Like a kite which I held on too tightly, the thread broke free. But I believe God is holding on the kites of our lives with His great loving hands. And I believe God has all these prepared.
What amazed me is how God allowed me to first read this verse in the bible after P&W session last night and also an passage written by Henri J.M. Nouwen from the book "The Dance of Life" edited by Michael Ford. The title of the passage is "Overcoming Dark Forces". I'll share this article with you all shortly.
I remember someone told me or maybe I read it somewhere... That the furthest journey on earth is from the head to the heart. As I journey deep into my own heart, I feel as though it is like walking on desert sand, where temptations of water source creep into the head, disappointing and discouraging the continual journey. I can only pray that this journey will come to an end at the time God has given me. His plan is so amazing and I can only wait for His revelation to come to me. And I pray that He will take me under His wings and teach me to soar in the sky without limit. Also that He will heal the relationships which are broken in my life. Amen!
There is this relationship which I held on dearly which I pray that it will be mended in time to come, to regain the glory, not for ourselves, but for the Lord whom our hearts are anchored to. Time will come, but now, only prayers can work miracles onto the healing which seemed so unlikely unto the relationship. People categorized it as friendship, to me, it is a relationship. Any form of connections I have with people, it is already considered as a relationship to me. Like a kite which I held on too tightly, the thread broke free. But I believe God is holding on the kites of our lives with His great loving hands. And I believe God has all these prepared.
"For surely I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for your welfare and not for harm, to give you a future with hope. Then when you call upon me and come and pray to me, I will hear you. When you search for me, you will find me; if you seek me with all your heart, I will let you find me, says the Lord, and I will restore your fortunes and gather you from all the nations and all the places where I have driven you, says the Lord, and I will bring you back to the places from which I sent you into exile."
~Jeremiah 29:11-14~
~Jeremiah 29:11-14~
What amazed me is how God allowed me to first read this verse in the bible after P&W session last night and also an passage written by Henri J.M. Nouwen from the book "The Dance of Life" edited by Michael Ford. The title of the passage is "Overcoming Dark Forces". I'll share this article with you all shortly.
I remember someone told me or maybe I read it somewhere... That the furthest journey on earth is from the head to the heart. As I journey deep into my own heart, I feel as though it is like walking on desert sand, where temptations of water source creep into the head, disappointing and discouraging the continual journey. I can only pray that this journey will come to an end at the time God has given me. His plan is so amazing and I can only wait for His revelation to come to me. And I pray that He will take me under His wings and teach me to soar in the sky without limit. Also that He will heal the relationships which are broken in my life. Amen!
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