Continuation of the Series of Unfortunate Events

As I cook my last bit of Kum Kee original chicken soup on the stove, I guess I should post a bit here. Some probably will laugh out loud and says "serves her right" when they read this, but I'm glad I'm so influential to affect their emotional stability!

Let's start with what happened today.. I got up at 530am to get ready and grabbed the 648am tram to take the 7am train to another town, Setubal, to get my residence card application submitted. Hahaha! A first world joke. The foreigners department office was experiencing visa information system breakdown. Everything seemed to be broken down there. Our appointments were undetected and we waited for 930am to see if the system would regain (which it didn't). So we were asked to go back there tomorrow. Good thing, bad thing? Nobody knows. What I know is I had to skip an important class this morning, miss another class tomorrow prior to the excavation practical on Wednesday. Now I'm blinded by the goodness of it.

It's a exhausting day to travel without purpose and miss class. I'm wondering if staying silent my whole life is the best thing to do. In response to an unpublished comment which hurt me a lot, I start wondering if I'm ever good enough at this point. Thank you, 'friend'. That's not what true friends would do though - to degrade me by saying I'm exactly the kind of person one would avoid and keep away from. I'm no longer angry, just very sad how stones are finally overturned to find the corpse hidden beneath. I may be attention seeker and imperfect and annoying, but I'm sure somewhere deep inside I have something good in me. Why is it so hard to see me in brand new unstained glasses instead of stained glasses of the past? It's an expensive lesson learned. For 10 days of my life I was feeling sorry/guilty I made everyone waited for me with the delay and flight cancellation and missed buses and spent £345 and euros. I cherished all the good times I had with many people I met, but it's hurtful to recount this part of my travels at the moments. Today I want to throw the guilt I feel for those people involved into the dump. Enough of feeling sorry.

I just returned from Fatima yesterday. I went for weekend pilgrimage with the English speaking church here. It built me up, reminding me that God is merciful and Jesus seeks not for the righteous but for the sinners. I know Jesus is seeking for me. I want to be found. I want to hurt no more because of negative insignificances like such. I want to win the battle with devil by the strength not mine but of Jesus. I'm weak and full of weaknesses. But I know God still loves me.

Judgment

Who am I to judge? For I'm constantly judged. I can only tell you what I am going through, who I am and things or situations which I had been. An anecdote here and there. I never meant any harm but too dark was my past which I know will never leave me because it's a part of me. Yet it will also be this darkened past which will be used to attack me.

I can't be what everything to everyone. All of you can choose to see me with the coloured spectacles of my past or look beyond find the real me. Im just blessed with many stories to tell. Im just blessed with eloquence of words. Im just blessed that I have many achieved dreams. Yet I'm never better than anybody because everyone is equal.

In the past I had to try very hard to find topics to make people look at me. I was insecure. Now if I find they aren't interested, I just need to step away because I don't need to try so hard. I learned. But I can't help being friendly to people. It's just me being me.

Judge me as you like. It's free of charge anyway since I don't charge any fee :) Happy judging!

End of My English Vacation

It has been a week of trials and temptations though I had enjoyed most of this break. Meeting new Sabahan friends and their spouses, learning new social dance, eating out like there is no tomorrow.

I can only give credit to God who has been showering me with friends and random people who have been so kind to me. Every tear I cried He wiped it away. Every worry and sorrow He turned into joy and happiness. Indeed God is the One I can depend and trust 100%.

There's a short anecdote which reminds me of my old self. I was a jealous person, and unable to share my friends and things with others. Recently I encountered someone who is like the old me. Now I can understand the helplessness people felt when they tried to handle the issue which stemmed from a root cause deep within me. Today I felt helpless too when I didn't know how much I should fade out so that this individual can have every attention to himself. Yet I also know that I have all rights to build friendships with anyone I meet. I can give way but doesn't mean I have to give up my right to befriend friends of my friends. This becomes an important lesson to me.

Books..

This is an element that never left my side when I travel. For once, I had no reading materials which I brought along on this trip. All those extraordinary experiences told me in a tiny but persistent voice that I will meet God in a reading material.

As I browsed in WHSmith in the airport aimlessly after getting my UK sim, I saw an interesting book which speaks about Dinah, the daughter of Leah and Jacob. She's mentioned briefly in the book of Genesis where she was raped by a foreign man. It's categorized as fiction, but I know God speaks in so many different ways and methods. Im on page 15 right now.

I would continue reading at the coach station rather than sitting here in the terminal 1 of Manchester Airport...

Touching Down in Manchester Airport

It was a moment of relief when I finally boarded the plane, only to find out 20 minutes later that my flight was delayed due to multiple reasons. First there was missing passenger then the unloading luggage and finally some sort of technical error of the plane. I kinda got worried that my plane wouldn't take off again! There was nothing I could do and only could leave everything in the hands of my Lord Jesus. I sought intercession of Our Lady via Rosary, a pretty messy one though. The miracle is the plane started moving at the 4th decade!! Praise God!

Now another moment of relief that I'm FINALLY here in the UK for my English vacation. Of course, the next thing which really shook me was... I missed my bus to London despite being there two hours before. The bus let its passengers down and drove off without me. Perhaps it was partially my fault for not waiting right outside at the stand too. The bus driver too, as he didn't wait. So I saw the bus drove off without me. I managed to get some help from the nice station manager and I called the customer service and they managed to get me a seat to London after midnight.

Now I'm camping in the airport terminal. Im going to get my meal and then a book. I will stay alert this time round.

Thank God for all His grace and mercy!! Im glad He's with me. If not, I probably would have given up and gone home. Now, I expect anything to happen at anytime but with God I will be alright somehow. This is the most optimistic me this year so far.

Dear God, what are You trying to tell me??

An Unexpected Turn

I was supposed to be on a plane heading for my English holidays of 10 days, BUT I'm blogging here in Novotel Lisbon right now from my mobile...

The story goes like this... I was informed yesterday there is an air traffic controller strike in Lisbon airport and I was hoping that I would be able to fly to Manchester despite the strike. First, it was rescheduled to earlier time, so I was in the airport earlier. Then as the time approaching, there was an announcement saying that our flight was delayed until further notice which would be given at 3pm. At 2pm, the flight was canceled. Then the confusion and waiting for what's next started. LOL. The airline is supposed to provide us with food and lodging. So here I am! Novotel Lisbon. It's quite good place to stay. Finally I'm lying on a king size bed watch AXN. Thank God! Hopefully tomorrow we will fly on time to Manchester as I have a lot to catch up my trip..

Ugly but Striking Luggage

It'll be a joke if u miss this bag anywhere! LOL

Officially, Vacation!

I slept very little last night. I guess the packing and all sorta overwhelmed me. This is my third trip to the UK and I am still awfully stressed about it somehow. Perhaps the difference of temperature kind of frozen my already-frozen brain (?!). Oh well... Enough of the negativity. Let's look at the brighter side of things. I have RICE for breakfast. Haha. And I am planning to start my journey to the airport at 9 am (in fact, as early as I can). With the air traffic controller strike going on in the airport, I suppose it will be quite confusing, and furthermore, I have NEVER been to the airport here in Lisbon.

I better do the last bit of dishes and go off earlier. It's 840am now.

Checking out from Lisbon now :P Gonna be in four places in a single day today. Interesting Friday. May the Lord bless and guide me :)

May Movie Day: The Avengers (3D)

Those who know me very well will know that it's a miracle I survive for more than 6 months without watching movies in the cinema. I considered myself a movie buff some months ago, when my favourite past time after work was to go for movie marathon in 1Borneo Hypermall, whenever I have extra time and cash of course. Well, with all the dubbed version of the movies in Spain, and the more expensive tickets, I have not watched a proper movie since last August. I don't remember which movie it was, but my last was a movie outing with a friend who lives in KL the eve of my flight to Madrid. That was 8th August 2011, about 9 months ago!!

Gosh, the feeling of watching the Avengers (3D) was "WOW! So this is how watching movie in the cinema feels like." Ok, writing this phrase gave me a feeling that I was living in a cave for the past 9 months *chuckles* and I am supposedly living in first world countries since August!!? Oh well, I thank God that the ticket price in Lisbon is slightly cheaper and so I could take a little off my scholarship allowance for a once-a-month movie treat I guess. They accepted my university gym card as my student card, so yeah, I got a cheaper student price of 5.70 euros, well, plus 2.20 euros for the real 3D glasses and 0.75 euros for 3D show tax. Definitely more expensive if I were to convert to MYR, but without conversion, the price is VERY reasonable, considering that it is original voice movie with Portuguese subtitles. No dubbing effect. NICE!!!

One thing which gave me a culture shock was the 7-minute interval which the cinema had. They CUT the Avengers into half literally, and my movie excitement and enjoyment into half too... T.T I thought they had some power or movie play failure which sometimes GSC experienced (from all my movie outings...)

I had that "WHY IS THIS SO RIDICULOUS??!!!" question playing again and again, as though it was the biggest joke on earth, to cut Thor's action into half. Sigh!! It was a good movie for a laugh with a mashed up super heroes of Marvel comic. A lot of CG and actions, with lots of heroes. Not the lovey-dovey, kissing here and there sort of movie. But it was completely fun, oh well, minus the interval of course.

And yeah, I tried on two dresses in Zara which I like a lot and thought of bringing them home to call my own. Now I'm still considering if I would wear them often enough to buy them home..... 

And I fell in love with Samsung Galaxy Note just now. I think that little gadget fits me perfectly. Being such an intelligent and cute thing. I wish I can bring home all!!

Well, after serious consideration, I might get the Note back home in Malaysia.... I just might!!!

Blessed Engagement to my beloved friends, Babara and Jeremy!

First of all, blessed engagement to Bab and Jer, my two lovely friends who got engaged recently. I wasn't directly informed, but I somehow was told by Facebook, the worldwide social networking tool. It's a pity I'm away... YET, as long as the couple is happy and obviously they are very happy, I am happy for them too *big smile*

I have been friends with the both of them since 2006 I think. I'm not sure if Jeremy came into the picture later, but I'm very sure that I met Bab in 2006 Freedom Camp. It was a blessing and still is a blessing to have know this couple as personal friends. Right before I left KK, I owed both of them a HUGE favour, which I have yet settled the money part with Jeremy, and the sisterly friendship with Bab. Thank you both for the support you gave me when I was in uncertainties and needed help yet strong-headed enough to not ask for help until the never super last moment. I really appreciate it a great deal. I miss you both a lot!

May the love of God be with you as you prepare to share your lives as one. I will bring this as a petition to Fatima when I go this Pentecost. Love you lots.

Month of May, A Leisure Month

The last time I blogged felt like a thousand years ago. This is a very slow month, with about 14 days of holidays for me coming up soon next week. How could a packed Masters course be so vacant? I have no idea. Perhaps ill combination or poor time management from the authorities. However, it happened so. I have planned 10 days of vacation in the UK, and this will be my 3rd trip there. I enjoyed my previous two trips a lot, despite the rain and gloomy days, especially during the winter break.

Everybody has wants and desires. Being human, I, too, have wants and desires. A desire for a final year project which I am passionate about, a want of tech-savvy gadgets, a dream which I want it to come true. The other day I was chatting with a Malaysian friend living in Lisbon at the moment about my dreams. Yeah, I come to realize that I have a lot of big dreams, and at the same time, by God's grace, many dreams are coming true. Living in this world as who I am for almost 30 years now, and to have many big dreams coming true, indeed, heaven is on earth!

Counting my dreams which are coming true:

1. Being paid to travel - I hold a scholarship given by European Union right now, enough for me to live, study and travel without worries.
2. Living in Europe for at least a year - This program is a two-year program in three different European countries
3. Studying Forensic Science - I have always wanted to study Forensic Science...
4. Furthering my studies to Masters and PhD (yet to come true at this moment) - I am studying Masters now, completing first year in July...
5. Traveling to Rome - I was in Rome for 4 days last summer
6. Attending World Youth Day - Last summer in Madrid was the WYD, and I was there with my team from Sacred Heart Cathedral, Kota Kinabalu. Thank God!!
7. Pilgrimage to Fatima - I have signed up for the pilgrimage in May organized by the Irish Dominican Parish whose church I'm attending mass on Sundays. Thank God!

I may have more dreams which are coming true but I have overlooked as I write... Now it's time for priorities setting. I want a DSLR since forever! And a tablet, and a i3/5/7 dual core, anti-glare lappy... I actually am able to afford all three if I don't consider every other factor. So priority goes to keeping my "children" in the bank and seeing them grow... This is for the sake of my unknown future. Being a planner by nature, and visionary too, I want to paint a nice picture for my future, be it as a single or married person.

Serving with God's people... At the moment, I feel I am doing nothing much. And I truly look forward to spend more than 6 months with the Christian Union students in Lincoln, praying and praising together with a community of believers. And serving God's people. Everytime I think of this future, I miss my team in KK. It had been a wonderful time, through thick and thin with them. Though there were moments which drew me apart from the community, I was blessed, and am still is blessed by those who hold on to me even when I pushed them aside. For this, I thank God with my whole heart. They are my spiritual family indeed. Now I'm praying very hard for divine intervention for the project I desire. And the thought of knowing somebody out there is always with me in prayers comfort me a lot. Not only one somebody, but many of them. Thank God!

Monument of Cristo Rei, Almada

Discovery tower in Belem

Famous Portuguese egg tarts, Pasteis de Belem

The front of the famous Portuguese egg tart cafe

Ponte 25 de Abril

Wall of Castelo de Sesimbra

Castelo de Obidos, with Agnes from Hungary whom I met in church :)