Lenten Reflection: 6th March 2013, Wednesday

Only take heed, and keep your soul diligently, lest you forget the things which your eyes have seen, and lest they depart from your heart all the days of your life; make them known to your children and your children's children.

(Deuteronomy 4:9)

This is a trying time for all Malaysians, especially those currently residing in Sabah, be it the locals or those from West Malaysia. Since my previous post on the issue of intrusion in Sabah by the sultan (whose identity is questionable) of a long-gone sultanate of Sulu, and how bloodshed had occurred, I hadn't posted a reflection of the daily readings. I have to admit and confess that I was angry with my fellow countrymen who posted troll pictures and/or politically-inclined statements on Facebook without taking responsibilities of the consequences which might happen due to their irresponsible statements. I was deeply disturbed by the current conditions which are considered one of the biggest security crises Malaysia had ever experienced ever since the days of communists attack right after independence.

Today's first reading deeply touched my heart, reminding me that the peace and unity of multiracial Malaysia aren't to be taken for granted. For about 50 years we took for granted the peace in the country while our neighbouring countries were in chaos. Right now, we finally are in the same shoes as our neighbours who struggled so much to bring peace in their nations. Indeed, as what was advised in the book of Deuteronomy - to never forget things which we are experiencing right now. We must always bear in mind and in hearts how we regain our independence and peace within the country. We must appreciate the martyrs' blood that was shed to protect our nation during this invasion of 2013. It is crucial that this should be included as part of our modern history to remind our future generation the hardship which we go through, be it physically, mentally, emotionally or spiritually, when our security forces battled with the barbaric terrorists. It also reminds me to never take for granted my homeland. No matter how far I am right now, Malaysia will always be home, and a nation which I am proud to be born as her people.

As individuals, we don't seem to be able to do anything. But as a nation, we could do something besides voicing out our opinions about the situation, that is to PRAY FOR PEACE AND SAFETY IN SABAH. Right now, we're entering the 3rd day of Divine Mercy Novena for this special intention (GMT time), while in Malaysia, it is already the 3rd day of the novena. I, personally, am very encouraged to see everybody, doesn't matter what race or nationality, is united in prayers according to their own religious beliefs. This is one of those challenging times in our nation which ignites a very strong sense of patriotism regardless of age, ethnicity or religious beliefs. May God hear our prayers and all things will be renewed in the whole Malaysia due to this event! Amen!

Please join us to pray for Sabah by joining the FB event which is created. We have been praying the Divine Mercy Novena since 5th March until 13th March. (click here to join the event)

Lenten Reflection: 3rd March 2013, Sunday

The Lord is merciful and kind... (Psalm 103:8a)

I'm writing from the desk of my friend in Liverpool, since I am currently outstation to do my sample collection for my masters project. It is indeed a blessing in my life to have met so many wonderful and hospitable Malaysian students here, and their kind assistance to my project is indeed very much appreciated. I just can't help thanking my friend, Neb, again and again for her help to lookup her friends in Liverpool. Indeed, the Lord is merciful and kind...

Today morning, as I woke up from the sleep and went through the whole routine of checking mails, and Facebook notifications, I saw more news on the intrusion of the state of Sabah, Malaysia, by the no-land Sulu "sultanate". This land has been my home for the past nine years, and all my spiritual family members residing in this peaceful land below the wind are currently at the very center of commotion. I am genuinely concerned about the current situation in Sabah when I read the news that five policemen were down during an ambush in Semporna. Since Malaysia was formed in 1963, we barely faced dangerous situations as such, at least since I was born until now. I had lived through peaceful, developing times of Malaysia. I am saddened by the fact of all the chaos which are happening back home while I am in Europe for my studies. There is nothing much which I could do, besides offering my worries to the Lord, and praying for this land and people whom I love back home, and also to relay information of my network to others who may need it in my network. But indeed, the Lord is still merciful and kind...

Many people may say that this is untrue, and rebuke that if the Lord is really merciful, such chaos would not happen. I saw something beautiful in the midst of chaos. More people are praying right now for to regain peace in Sabah. More people are united against foreign forces who are trying to invade the state. More people return to God because of difficult times. Yes, our faith is challenged by all these chaotic situations, and yes, it can be shaken. But this faith of the size of the mustard seed can move mountains if we believe that God will bring peace to His people even in the midst of stormy seas in life. Jesus calmed the sea more than two thousand years ago when the Apostles were afraid and called out to Him. He would be here with us to calm the storms in our lives, if we call out to Him too. And our God is the God of second chances, and He would be merciful and kind if we turn to Him once again.

So let us renew our faith by giving ourselves a chance to believe in God again, and pray for physical and spiritual renewals for ourselves, and for everyone else. And pray specially for peace in the Sabah, Malaysia, in times of trouble like this. Amen.

Lenten Reflection: 2nd March 2013, Saturday

I'm sitting in the train waiting for the weekend getaway to start. Looking at worried faces of the train workers and the initial failure to start the train, I have in mind of a delayed journey. I like my days planned rather than unplanned but delays as such are inevitable. Yesterday I spent the whole day in my room trying to complete my essay and I did find it hard to start. Once the ideas started flowing out, it became easier.

And suddenly the train begins the journey towards Nottingham where I'll catch the connecting train to Liverpool. Hence, my journey begins.

Today's Gospel is on the parable of the prodigal son. This is a reminder for me and probably to you all, that we are loved deeply by the Father and all He yearns is that we return home to Him despite the unworthiness we feel inside. All the sins and wrongdoings which may have hindered our relationship with God are what we should leave behind and run towards God who saves us. The act of Jesus dying on the cross has often be misunderstood as a reflection of suffering and cruelty of mankind. Yet, this very act of His death redeemed us from the Satan and reestablished our relationship with God, if only we accept and proclaim Him as our Saviour.

May we have the courage to return home this Lent no matter what we have done. Amen.

Lenten Reflection: 28th February 2013, Thursday

"Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose trust is the Lord." (Jeremiah 17:7)

Today the word for me is "trust". Many a times, I failed to trust the Lord 100%. Though I may have prayed for divine providence, I may have failed by doubting if the prayers will be granted according to my plan, my time, my way, my will. In fact, we like to have it our way all the things in life. God's ways are different from mortal ways. Our thoughts and intelligence and understanding are limited, but God is infinite. It seems easy enough to say "I will trust in the Lord", but it is an easier said than done matter. Sometimes when we pray, His answer is a big N-O when we expect it to be a Y-E-S. It can be disappointing to not have it our way. Yet, I learned that His NO in all the wrong things which I had asked through prayers was indeed the utmost blessing in my life. I wouldn't be where I am if God had granted all those bad things I had asked.

Trust in Lord is a blessing, for He alone brings true hope in life.

Even if right now it seems so hard to fully trust God, take it slow - one step at a time. Eventually, we'll get to the 100% trust in Him. If King David, who was acknowledged by God as a man after His own heart, could trust God in times of turbulence and perils, in times of dangers and sorrows, why can't most of us who are basically living in comfortable conditions trust in Him?

Lenten Reflection: 27th February 2013, Wednesday

Yesterday, the word which struck me from the daily readings was "talk".

Today, the word is "serve" from Matthew 20:28...

"... even as the Son of man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many."

Life is a mystery itself, yet, this mystery is definitely a joyful one. Sometimes there are ups, sometimes downs. However, life is never stagnant. I recall telling a worthy friend that I enjoy routine, and am rigid when it comes to routine. When I am trained to speak to one person daily, I get frustrated when the routine changes. Yet, this friend told me that there is nothing that will not change. I do agree with him, but defiantly, I rebuked him then. Yes, I know that "change is the only constant in life", as quoted from Heraclitus, a Greek philosopher. Nobody invites change in his life, but indeed, change is inevitable, just like all the changes which I am going through right now.

For the past 1.5 years, I told the people whom I know that these two years (since 2011) I want to "be still" and receive from God. Oddly enough, I feel like instead of receiving, I suck life out of the people around me sometimes. It was devastating whenever I go through my "moments" that someone in my life will lose their energy source. Right now, it is time for me to "talk" to God, and start looking at Him and learn to "serve" Him fully.

Today there was mass in campus, though not many turned up (as usual), but it was encouraging to see new faces, and yes, the presence of a lecturer of UoL was definitely encouraging! The word "serve" rang loudly in my ears as Fr. John proclaimed the Good News. Yes, while receiving, I am called to serve too, and to walk the talk which Jesus taught us through His life on earth.

Looking at the God who loves me to bits, talking to Him of all my fears and worries in life, and now, considering the mission of serving Him fully. Where will all these lead me to? What about yourselves out there? Have you considered looking deeply into yourselves to meet Him in your fears and worries? Have you tried telling Him the pain which you feel inside? For once, tell Him. May He who created you be the light unto your path tonight.

God bless.

Will You Follow Me?

A friend from the UoL Christian Union shared this on the ULCU Facebook page, and I think it is an awesome reflection for Lent. It stirred my heart into answer and action. What about you? Will you follow HIM?

Lenten Reflection: 26th February 2013, Tuesday

Hear the word of the Lord,

you rulers of Sodom;

listen to the command of our God,

you people of Gomorrah.

'Wash make yourselves clean.

Take your wrong-doing out of my sight.

Cease to do evil.

Learn to do good,

search for justice,

help the oppressed, be just to the orphan,

plead for the widow.

'Come now, let us talk this over,

says the Lord.

Though your sins are like scarlet,

they shall be as white as snow;

though they are red as crimson,

they shall be like wool.

'If you are willing to obey,

you shall eat the good things of the earth.

But if you persist in rebellion,

the sword shall eat you instead.'

The mouth of the Lord has spoken.

(Isaiah 1:10, 16-20)

Today's first reading reminds me of all the sins which I committed in the dark behind close doors, and within my heart. What really struck me is the Lord's openness to "talk this over" about our sins and how we are redeemed if we are "willing to obey", and the prophet Isaiah included both the consequences of persisting in our sinful ways and when we turn back to God. It reminds me that I have a choice, and a decision to make. To follow Him or not is up to me, really... I guess I'm more comfortable to try following Him, despite multiple falls, I live. His will is my mission in life. Though not knowing fully the plan God has for me, I still believe that His plans are the best.

Right now, in the midst of rejections of the PhD applications which I made earlier, I could only trust that His plan is greater than mine. And I am trying to "talk it over" with God about my intentions and let's see where He will lead me to. Besides the further studies intention, I, too, am intending to fuel the starting of Catholic Society in University of Lincoln while I am here. I find this an issue which is very close to my heart and hope that it will materialise. And of course, the plan is to start off with Student Alpha next week and see if it will work out :)

Lenten Offerings

Wow... I just realised that I have not done anything constructive since the start of Lent, and now, we're in the 2nd week of Lent already! Reflecting on what I did since Ash Wednesday until now, I felt ashamed of myself. Knowing that God is good and He is always waiting for us to return to Him at any time, right now, I'm deciding on my personal Lenten Offering. I had slowly abandoned this blog since I started Facebook again after that six-month abstinence from FB. Starting a blog is easy, maintaining one takes effort, and yes, I was short of the effort of writing...

Starting tonight (it's never too late to start), I'm going to write more on spiritual stuffs for this Lent base on the daily readings which I'd reflect upon prior to writing. This also will be a record as I prepare myself for a silent retreat during Holy Week (fingers crossed that it will happen).

Lenten Reflection: Wrestling with God

Currently I'm at Beringgis Resort's main lobby after morning walk at the beach... And I read out loud the readings by the seaside. What a calm, cool and clear morning, listening to peaceful whispers of the ocean!

Here's the reflection I have done of today's 1st reading taken from the book of Jonah, chapter 3, verses 1 to 10....

Everyone has a time when they wrestle with the Lord so that they can do what they think is the best for them. The thing is God doesn't need to wrestle with us, but He will allow us to do what we like, because of the free will He gave us. Yet, there will always be a time when we will realize that what we have chosen is the path we desire. This is not necessarily a path that leads to a full and complete life. And, second chance is always given to us free by God. Again, it's up to whether we want to be obedient this time or still remain stubborn and self-sufficient.

I had my time wrestling with God when it comes to my future planning. I wanted so badly to stay where I am now that I gave up the offer that GIST's professor presented to me in the middle of my internship. If I had taken the route, I'd have gotten my Ph.D by now. Yet, the Lord is once again presenting me with this chance of furthering my studies. Like Jonah who was obedient to the Lord (c.f. Jon 3:2-3), this time I am certain I must go - be it GIST or other places. Not only that I have to give up all that I think I possess here for now, like the king who took off his robe, put on sackcloth and sat down in ashes (c.f. Jon 3:6).

How I wish there is an easy way out of this! How I wish I can retain all these! Yet, I know things will change. The only thing that remains constant is change.

At the same time, I'm wrestling with God about a person... This person knows God too, and me, he knows well. And he refuses to see me, to keep in touch for whatever reason. And when he's like that, I know there is no possibility to see him, except by divine intervention. Yet, I badly want to follow God's timing... When it's time according to His watch, I'm certain God will let us see each other again...

Planet Shakers - Evermore

I was discussing with a friend on Christian music groups, and this song came up to our discussion. This is a beautiful song. I pray this Lenten season has been a fruitful one for you and this Easter is a new life for you. God bless. Amen.

Lenten Reflection

I had been engaging this particular Lenten Reflection from 66 Love Letters by Dr. Larry Crabb and I find it is an exceptionally good one today.

Lent Day 25: The Book of John

God says, in the world you now inhabit, communion with Me is not defined by an experience of Me. Nor does it depend on blessings from Me.

To really live is to release My Son's life through yours, in any circumstance, no matter what you feel; to relate as He related, giving when no one gives back, loving when no one returns love, forgiving when no one deserves forgiveness, suffering in the place of those who should suffer.

Understand this: to commune with Me in this life is to live like My Son with His life alive in you.

Believe this: communion with Me leads to an eternal experience of Me and unimaginable blessings from Me. You will get a taste of them now—as My Spirit chooses—and you will enjoy the banquet later when you see My Son.

Know this: heaven's reality has invaded yours. Prepare to live a new way.

Real life, the surprising route to joy, is within reach.

(from 66 Love Letters: A Conversation with God that Invites You into His Story by Dr. Larry Crabb, ©2009.)

Model Christian

Any idea what a model Christian is like? Recently a concerned individual reminded me that the eyes of all my colleagues are on me because I've been appointed as the Religious Knowledge Coordinator of my school, hence I'm expected to be a "model Christian teacher".

Who am I to have such an honour that all my colleagues must have their eyes on the way I behave myself in front of these people? And all these whiles, I thought that everybody who is a Christian (doesn't matter Catholics, Orthodox, Evangelical Protestants, Adventists, etc.) has the same role to play -- to be a role model to the world base on the Christian values which we are supposed to live out. So what exactly was the intention of this concerned individual to remind me of these eyes who have been staring at me since the first day I received my new job description?

Today is Ash Wednesday, the start of Lenten season. The first day of the 46 days before Easter. A day of fasting and abstinence from meat. The gospel reading today (Matthew 6:1-6, 16-18) in fact answers my question of the "model Christian" issue which had been bothering me for a few days. St. Matthew in his gospel spoke about how we should behave when we give alms, pray and fast. And all was summarized here:

"Be careful not to parade your uprightness in public to attract attention; otherwise you will lose all reward from your Father in heaven."
~ Matthew 6:1 ~

It is a call to learn meekness and humility from Jesus through His life on earth. It is a call to spend time with God. And God sees all our actions and thoughts, whether we like it or not. Yet, with His love, all our flaws are forgiven. In fact, He sometimes uses our flaws as His tool to shine His light to the people around us. Let God use us to the fullest in this season of Lent.

As for me, yes, I will work on being a model Christian, and live my life for Christ's sake, but I'd also invite everyone else who profess he/she is a Christian to do the same, instead of criticising how another Christian should live his/her life. Like what Jesus said, "Let anyone among you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her." (cf. John 8:7)

Perseverance Unlimited

Tomorrow is Ash Wednesday. What is YOUR plan for tomorrow?

What I know it is a day of fasting and abstinence from meat. A day of obligation. The start of Lenten season. Some people do 40-day fast in this season of preparation for Easter. What about YOU?

As for ME, I do plan to only have one full meal a day. Will it be heavy lunch but no dinner? Or should it be heavy breakfast, no lunch and moderate/light dinner? Perhaps the latter. I still have a day to consider my fasting/abstinence plan. Maybe I should follow my puppies' diet of rice and fish only. They seem happy eating that day-in day-out. I know that the road to happiness is to be contented with what we have. Enough is good and sufficient is grace from God.

Planning is great, as always. But will I be persevering in this 40-day plan of fasting/abstinence? How many times we plan great things, with full of desire and passion, but end up limping because of lack of perseverance? Today when I opened my copy of The Light (daily readings), it struck me that the Church is preparing God's people for the season of Lent which will start tomorrow.

"Blessed is anyone who perseveres when trials come. Such a person is of proven worth and will win the prize of life, the crown that the Lord has promised to those who love him."
~ James 1:12 ~

Indeed, it is also written some down the chapter that,

"Everyone is put to the test by being attracted and seduced by that person's own wrong desire."
~ James 1:14 ~

During Lenten season, we're still living our normal lives. The difference is this season is with the knowledge that we must remember the road that Jesus took in order to redeem us from our sins; in order to save us, He died the scandalous death. Are we going to just sit here and do nothing about it? Or instead, are we going to wait for His resurrection at Easter by dying daily to our sins and carry our daily crosses, yet remain joyful with trials and cling onto the Rock when tempted to go astray? We can be easily tempted because of our own desire. Sometimes, passion and desire can blind us.

James wrote that "by His own choice He gave birth to us by the message of truth so that we should be a sort of first-fruits of all His creations" (James 1:18) as the end of today's reading. God has given us, by His choice, His message of truth. As we are all children of the Father of all light, we receive His truth and hence should be the salt of the earth, light of the world (cf. Matthew 5:13, 14).

You can decide how you want to lead your life. Pray more? Pray less? Your decision.

May the grace and love of God be with you all on the 3rd day of CNY. May perseverance in prayers be your strength when in darkness and may the light of Jesus be the direction of your lives.

God bless!