Cold, Cold, Go Away!

The worst things that can happen in the life of a graduate student include explosion of the laptop filled with data which we forget to backup, equipment used for experiments decided to break down in the middle of a crucial experiment, internet gets disconnected when a large data file is 90% uploaded with 10% to go, our pet microbes die in sleep during the weekend, incubator loses control of its temperature causing our pet to die of frost or heatstroke, and last (but not least) to catch a cold when an awfully important presentation is due in the same week. The list can go on forever... PhD comics would have a bunch of well-illustrated experiences for sure.

As for me, I'm down with the idiotic cold this week!! Of all the weeks... the silly bug visits me this week!!!! First the sore throat, then the infamous runny nose and built up of mucus in sinus cavities, finally the dizzying cough. The worst of all is I have a crucial presentation tomorrow afternoon (which is almost done but not so!). I'd have expected a cold around this time of the year, it's always before, during or after my birthday. Somehow the busyness caused me to forget to take extra precautions. Thank God I wasn't sick on my birthday!

Let's see what I've tried so far to hasten the recovery:
1) Over-saturation of Vitamin C
2) Chicken soup
3) Honey water (warm)
4) Loratidine (abandoned after two doses)
5) Pseudoepinephrine (somehow working so far)
6) Nasal spray
7) Steam vapor to dislodge mucus in sinus cavities
8) Sleep and stay home

FYI, lemon or whatever form of lemony stuffs don't work for me at all. I tend to get sicker after doing lemon. Strepsils don't work too. It might work for general public but not for Cindy.

Let's see if it helps me to get things done tomorrow morning for a good presentation in the afternoon. I've gotta seal the deal. It's either present or perish. I'm not quite done with Cambridge so I hope I can nail it.

Tomorrow alone activities are lined up like a beeline. First the session with college counsellor, then fire safety talk, finally the presentation. I need a miracle, which can only come from God alone. May the Lord walk me through this tough but interestingly challenging period.

Amen.

Success is NOT Everything

'Twas back in 2005 that I learned that success IS NOT everything in life. For years and years I lived (or tried to live) up to my parents' expectations, always with a need to be successful in everything I did. I became very critical with myself, in fact, even up to now I have the tendency to be critical. My mother expected me to perform well in school, always with indication that my schoolmates were better than I was in studies. It was like a rat race, student version, in an all girls' school which was already the top three schools in my hometown many years ago (and still is the top three now!). THAT, of course, occurred because I didn't want to be in some other class besides the one I was already allocated on the first day of my secondary school based on entrance exam. Yeah, even though we were accepted to the school, we had entrance exam for class streaming. So, I was placed with a bunch of super girls, excellent in all areas. We had quite a few all rounders all gathered in the same class from different primary schools. Imagine that. And yeah, the constant worry of our average exam scores and positions in class. Even a 0.5% would cause us to have a shift of positions. Bleeekkkkk... I wonder how I got by THAT. Ugh.

Life in university was generally awesome. I met some nice people. There were heartbreaks, backstabs, whatever. But I lived through it too. And oh... someone asked me that very question which caused me to think... "If the whole achievement in your studies so far were to be taken away from you, what would you be left with?" I was speechless.

I guess that's when God started working with me more. Like how aurora borealis in Iceland would tend to have increased activities during certain seasons, certain years, the same with me. And indeed, I learned, if all were to be taken away from me, I am still left with God.

Now in the last few days of submitting my dissertation, and I'm nowhere near the end, I had a good sleep from 5 am to 10 am, yet I woke up still feeling dizzy and stressed, despite the extension given to me. I'd have to work through it somehow. Instead of keeping the stress... I took an hour plus to just read daily Scriptures, wash my face and DO a clay mask to chill and clean my face, blog a little. And yes, time to get back to work.

All will be well, this I believe. I just need to try my best, and God will do the rest.

Early Morning of a Sunday

A peaceful gloomy British morning indeed. This picture was on Google search overlooking Somerset Levels of England which rightly describes current weather condition in Lincoln. The current temperature in Lincoln according to BBC Weather is 13 degree Celsius!

Not just that, the wind speed is 15 mph (miles per hour, no idea why UK still uses non-metric measurement...)! It means that there is showers with rather high speed wind (faster than us walking on treadmill).

I happily rose from deep sleep at 6.26 am by some fake-out sunlight from my windows. I know many found it weird that I sleep with my curtains open, but I like having natural light shining into my room. This is probably due to oversleeping yesterday. I was probably on 18 hours on-and-off knockout sessions the whole Saturday, with a lame attempt to oversleep on a Saturday morning. So yeah,  I had too much of sleep that my body tells me that it is time to rise up. And so, after a futile attempt to return to sleep, I got up for a cuppa Fatt Choi coffee mix (courtesy of a friend whose stuffs I held hostage for at least 8 months before she came to collect them) and half a can of Heinz baked beans cooked with egg, a slice of cheddar cheese and some black pepper to taste. Hmm... I actually have time for breakfast before getting ready for mass! Perhaps an Activia yogurt? I need to wallop them all before tomorrow anyway :P

I even had read the Sunday readings. An excellent achievement for me, since I hadn't had time to do so since a long time ago, always waking up on time to shower and rush off to mass every Sunday. Today I want to make this Sunday a more interesting one. Perhaps sitting in some nice neat hidden cafe to get some work done? Sounds fair enough. I'll decide if I should haul this big white chunk out from the room in such wintry summer morning.

Did I tell you that officially it is British summer time? Yeah, at 13 degrees! It is officially summer two days ago!!! Yeah... I could still wear some of my lighter winter stuffs if I want to. Right now I'd wear my newly-purchase Marks & Spencer Per Una shower resistant mac, because it is my new add-on to the already stuffed wardrobe!! I paid £49 for a £79 mac, okay maybe it still sounds a bit overpriced for a student, but I really like it so much that I told myself I'd bring it home if it were to be on sales. So when it went on sales, my first instinct was to grab it. It happened so that I was out to buy some last minute stuffs for my Paris trip the morning before I left for London. My account is utterly stretched to the max right now, but yeah, I found out it was "out of stock" online when I returned from Paris and my heart was relieved I didn't miss it.

Enough with the yack. Time to try focusing for 30 minutes before getting ready for mass.

P/S: Sorry for the tiny pics... I want them to fit into my template. I know I could increase the width, but I have to consider that some readers may be using a smaller screen lappy... Honestly, I have no idea how many readers I have, not many but it is fine. Haha!

Blessed Sunday!

Blog Design!

Oh my gosh!!

Besides "abandoning" my blog for ages due to multiple reasons, I had failed to upkeep its appearance. It looks HORRIBLE and UGLY. I'd need to "shop" for a new blog design to match a new chapter in life.

Yeah, I'm completing my masters in about 6 weeks, and right now I'm struggling like a fish on the land. (aka very badly).

Spiritual life is practically like searching for an oasis in an uncharted desert ground with not much success, relationship status is still null (friends even suggested me to try Catholic online dating website!!), and dissertation deadline is pushing near, and I'm totally overhauled! :'( I need prayers, guys (whoever who reads my blog). Future uncharted, uncertainties looming. Well-suited for my uglified blog design indeed.

This morning I purposely stayed in bed until like... now (11 am). Even though I had been awake since before 9 am. My plan to sleep in late always fails, anyway.

I've decided to make some changes in my life from now on... TO start with.. the uglified blog design. And I just discovered that I DON'T KNOW WHERE IS MY PAINT APP on WIN8. So far I have not much of complaints about Windows 8, except being unfriendly to the user (me). Haha. Okay, perhaps it is just me not familiarizing with Win8.

Here's how my blog looks like on 22 June 2013, 11.16 am (BST)

And design shopping begins now!!!!! ^________^

Lost and Found

I had been bobbing up and down on the surface of rough ocean for many years. Sometimes I found my way to shore, sometimes I pushed the boat back into the ocean unconsciously. This process is exhausting though I am very clear that nothing can deter a wanting will, except the will itself. These few days I have been pondering a lot about past, present and future, and where exactly all the decisions I have made so far are leading me when they are summed up together collectively. All the bad habits I have adopted, all the good things I have learned... in fact, every single second life passes through my life, all bring effects, long-lasting ones, to my life.

After so much time taken to ponder, one thing I am very clear -- in the midst of uncertainty and error-making, I need some sort of certainty. I am who God created me to be and I cannot be who others want me to be. Even when the voice of the world is far louder than the tiny little voice of God residing in me, I have firmly believe what I cannot see, for what I cannot see yet is much more precious than what lies in front of me.

I thank God I am given an opportunity to return to the research and academic field which I desired so much and gave up due to multiple reasons. Due to this God-given opportunity, no matter how tiring it is and will be, I want to at least try more and complain less. All these choices I made, even the wrong ones, led me to a right place. Even though I still am in a tiny little bobbing boat in the midst of a deep and rough ocean, I know the waves on the sea and the wind that blows will lead me to the place I will eventually call home for good. And till this day time, time is precious for I desire to be the me whom God has called me to be. If I am called as an academician, I want to give my 100% to Him by being a just and skillful academician. If I am called as a wife or mother one day, I want to give my 100% to Him by being a responsible and loving mother. Now, I am called to be a student, so my only duty is solely to fulfill His will in my life.

Yes, I found that living in the present is ignoring the voices and complaints that everyone has about everything around me, and continue being me even when others hate me or my guts. And to live life to the fullest.

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,

that saved a wretch like me,

I was lost, but now I am found,

was blind but now I see.

- John Newton, 1779 -

Lenten Reflection

I had been engaging this particular Lenten Reflection from 66 Love Letters by Dr. Larry Crabb and I find it is an exceptionally good one today.

Lent Day 25: The Book of John

God says, in the world you now inhabit, communion with Me is not defined by an experience of Me. Nor does it depend on blessings from Me.

To really live is to release My Son's life through yours, in any circumstance, no matter what you feel; to relate as He related, giving when no one gives back, loving when no one returns love, forgiving when no one deserves forgiveness, suffering in the place of those who should suffer.

Understand this: to commune with Me in this life is to live like My Son with His life alive in you.

Believe this: communion with Me leads to an eternal experience of Me and unimaginable blessings from Me. You will get a taste of them now—as My Spirit chooses—and you will enjoy the banquet later when you see My Son.

Know this: heaven's reality has invaded yours. Prepare to live a new way.

Real life, the surprising route to joy, is within reach.

(from 66 Love Letters: A Conversation with God that Invites You into His Story by Dr. Larry Crabb, ©2009.)