Success is NOT Everything

'Twas back in 2005 that I learned that success IS NOT everything in life. For years and years I lived (or tried to live) up to my parents' expectations, always with a need to be successful in everything I did. I became very critical with myself, in fact, even up to now I have the tendency to be critical. My mother expected me to perform well in school, always with indication that my schoolmates were better than I was in studies. It was like a rat race, student version, in an all girls' school which was already the top three schools in my hometown many years ago (and still is the top three now!). THAT, of course, occurred because I didn't want to be in some other class besides the one I was already allocated on the first day of my secondary school based on entrance exam. Yeah, even though we were accepted to the school, we had entrance exam for class streaming. So, I was placed with a bunch of super girls, excellent in all areas. We had quite a few all rounders all gathered in the same class from different primary schools. Imagine that. And yeah, the constant worry of our average exam scores and positions in class. Even a 0.5% would cause us to have a shift of positions. Bleeekkkkk... I wonder how I got by THAT. Ugh.

Life in university was generally awesome. I met some nice people. There were heartbreaks, backstabs, whatever. But I lived through it too. And oh... someone asked me that very question which caused me to think... "If the whole achievement in your studies so far were to be taken away from you, what would you be left with?" I was speechless.

I guess that's when God started working with me more. Like how aurora borealis in Iceland would tend to have increased activities during certain seasons, certain years, the same with me. And indeed, I learned, if all were to be taken away from me, I am still left with God.

Now in the last few days of submitting my dissertation, and I'm nowhere near the end, I had a good sleep from 5 am to 10 am, yet I woke up still feeling dizzy and stressed, despite the extension given to me. I'd have to work through it somehow. Instead of keeping the stress... I took an hour plus to just read daily Scriptures, wash my face and DO a clay mask to chill and clean my face, blog a little. And yes, time to get back to work.

All will be well, this I believe. I just need to try my best, and God will do the rest.