Lisbon: Revisiting Memories

As I walked on the streets of Lisbon, tracing my footsteps back to ISCSEM, the graduate institute I spent a semester in, and be reminded by Swarm/Foursquare of my last check-ins here and there since July 2012, it is like reliving my memories as an Erasmus Mundus student: where I had been, what I had done, who I had come to know, why I had decided to do what I did and am doing. This short weekend of refocusing will definitely recharge and refresh my mind for the hectic weeks ahead. I think the sunshine, blue sky, good food and water body (Rio Tejo) are very helpful. And yes, the temperature. I've to be careful not to be burnt though.

The Eve of Submission

Hahaha...

Yeah, that's exactly how I feel right now. I'm sure some of you would have been my tear and sweat-bearers, comforting me, supporting me when I went all crazy and stressed out with my writing up, which is, by the way, not done yet. I have around 12 hours to getting ready to meet my supervisor to go through it before I get it printed. My bad, I should have been more focused. Like what I shared with someone, I was disillusioned. Everything became blurry and I didn't know what I was doing. I'm glad to have encountered this person, and eventually, by the grace of God, found my way back. Though I spent many days in confusion, heart palpitation and disillusion (I know it doesn't make sense, but they rhymed, ok!), I think the ever-thriving-in-stressful-situations me is officially back for the next 12 to 15 hours.

Two years of moving around Europe for my Erasmus Mundus Masters Course, and it's all coming to an end when I click "Upload" and "Submit" tomorrow. What have I been doing?? At the back of my mind, one word popped up: TRAVELLING.

I shall leave the tale open-ended for another day.

Back to my Blood.Sweat.Tears and... (NOT) Coffee.

I've Come So Far...

And giving up is no longer an option.

The moment I said yes to the Erasmus Mundus scholarship offer, it is already the plan that I'd complete my studies end of this month. Here it is, the final few days of tension and that's the end of it. Perhaps deep down inside me, I didn't want it to end, that's why I didn't want to complete the dissertation. No will, no way. That's why there's a saying, "Where there's a will, there's a way".

Maybe, I fear the unknown, uncharted future lying ahead of me. I thought I was going to Cambridge for my Ph.D, all seemed so planned - the timing at least, when the scholarship which I applied to informed that the results would only be out in September. But... But... The offer for Ph.D. would start on 1st October. Ermm... If they only inform me in mid-September that they are willing to sponsor me, would I have time to apply for a student visa within two weeks? And to find accommodation?! The only option is to defer to the next term (January 2014), and be fattened up for three months in Malaysia (like I'm not fat enough now). Ok, that's not the point... The point is... uncharted waters means there would be possible sharks in it, possible dolphins too. Oh yeah, I like dolphins. Again, I'm missing the points. I'm just... scared.

According to what I know, there are at least 365 phrases of "Be Not Afraid" in the Bible, one for each day. I just need to trust. Yeah, just trust that if God brings me to this, He'd open the doors hindering it. Nothing to lose to go home. Who knows, something interesting is there. And yeah, singing with the English Choir for Christmas once again would be awesome. Thank God I left my files and all with my friend in Kota Kinabalu. That's something to look forward.

Ok, I missed the whole point of my title for this entry. I should try to finish up my dissertation because I CHOSE TO DO THIS MASTERS! End of discussion. LOL!

Success is NOT Everything

'Twas back in 2005 that I learned that success IS NOT everything in life. For years and years I lived (or tried to live) up to my parents' expectations, always with a need to be successful in everything I did. I became very critical with myself, in fact, even up to now I have the tendency to be critical. My mother expected me to perform well in school, always with indication that my schoolmates were better than I was in studies. It was like a rat race, student version, in an all girls' school which was already the top three schools in my hometown many years ago (and still is the top three now!). THAT, of course, occurred because I didn't want to be in some other class besides the one I was already allocated on the first day of my secondary school based on entrance exam. Yeah, even though we were accepted to the school, we had entrance exam for class streaming. So, I was placed with a bunch of super girls, excellent in all areas. We had quite a few all rounders all gathered in the same class from different primary schools. Imagine that. And yeah, the constant worry of our average exam scores and positions in class. Even a 0.5% would cause us to have a shift of positions. Bleeekkkkk... I wonder how I got by THAT. Ugh.

Life in university was generally awesome. I met some nice people. There were heartbreaks, backstabs, whatever. But I lived through it too. And oh... someone asked me that very question which caused me to think... "If the whole achievement in your studies so far were to be taken away from you, what would you be left with?" I was speechless.

I guess that's when God started working with me more. Like how aurora borealis in Iceland would tend to have increased activities during certain seasons, certain years, the same with me. And indeed, I learned, if all were to be taken away from me, I am still left with God.

Now in the last few days of submitting my dissertation, and I'm nowhere near the end, I had a good sleep from 5 am to 10 am, yet I woke up still feeling dizzy and stressed, despite the extension given to me. I'd have to work through it somehow. Instead of keeping the stress... I took an hour plus to just read daily Scriptures, wash my face and DO a clay mask to chill and clean my face, blog a little. And yes, time to get back to work.

All will be well, this I believe. I just need to try my best, and God will do the rest.

Jeremiah 29:11

Two years and two months ago, upon discernment and rather careful planning, plus a "YES" to God to venture into uncharted waters, I resigned from a rather stable 5-day job and bade goodbye to teaching career upon completion of the 3-month notice. It was a strange day where nobody seemed to care. Yet, I knew I was doing exactly what I was called to do, and going to exactly where I was called to go.

It was a miracle when a month after the scholarship results was out and I was on reserved list (which literally means, "with sincere apologies we would like to inform you that you are not selected to be in our scholarship program) that I was offered that very scholarship again. I could only attribute this miracle to God and His plans for me. I was on a roller coaster when I said the second yes.

The first yes was to attend World Youth Day in Madrid, Spain, when I didn't even have financial means to pay for my flights nor registration fees. The second yes was to accept the scholarship and stayed back in Spain rather than to fly back. It would be a brand new chapter in my life. Two sides of the same coin - adventurous and scary at the same time.

I'm a planner by nature, so I've decided that I should travel a bit before the studies commenced. To end the chapter of a working young adult and jump into the chapter of a mature student. By April 2011, I had almost everything worked out - where I would go after WYD, where to leave my 25 kg luggage (all that I could bring for my two-year or more stay in Europe), transportation and accommodations during the Eurotrip, etc. I got really good bargain for my Rome accommodation, and managed to visit a fellow Couchsurfer in his family home in Crailsheim, Germany, and my two South Korean friends in Freiburg. So my journey started on 9th August 2011 when I left Malaysia (with the rest of the WYD team) until further notice.

Upon arrival to Madrid, I took the train down to Cordoba and met with the flatmate of the CSer who housed my luggage for a whole month while I traveled with my Deuter 45L backpack. From Cordoba, I took a bus to La Linea and met up with the group and walked over to Gibraltar where we spent almost a week there for the pre-WYD event. It was spiritually awakening indeed. From Gibraltar, we all took a bus back to super hot Madrid for WYD and yeah, I met Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI in Madrid during the weekend. After WYD ended, I bade goodbye to my church friends and started the solo travel to Barcelona on overnight bus. I arrived very early in the morning, took a train to Manresa and walked to the monastery where I stayed for three nights. I was blessed with the presence of an American Vietnamese priest, Fr. Tri Dinh, who guided me on personal retreat for a day. I never knew that the La Cueva was where St. Ignatius of Loyola stayed and wrote the Spiritual Exercises until I arrived and was given basic information of the monastery. So, for three nights I spent in silence getting enough rest, and be amazed by the love of God. After recharging myself, I met up my old classmate and her friend in Barcelona for two days to catch up and walked around the city of Gaudi. From Barcelona, I flew to Rome and spent four amazing days there. From Rome, I flew to Basel and took a train to Germany. Finally, I returned to Basel after about 5 days in Germany to fly to Spain again - to start my studies.

I'm on Erasmus Mundus Masters Course (EMMC) Scholarship, so every semester I moved to another country where my host university is. September 2011 we started in Madrid, by February 2012 we moved to Lisbon. I went back to Malaysia for the summer, spending about 3 weeks in West Malaysia and the other three in East Malaysia, and attended a close friend's wedding in Kota Kinabalu before I flew back to our 3rd country - the UK - in September 2012. I'm blessed with the opportunity to work on a project here in the UK so I'm here for the whole academic year. By November 2012, I started making enquiries about PhD vacancies. I know I have to get a PhD anywhere before I return to my homeland to start contributing again to the society, or anywhere God leads me to. Out of all the applications and enquiries, only Cambridge is all the way with positive answers...

Currently, I am shy of the financial assistance. I'm almost there, just the money which is stopping me from telling everyone that I'm going to Cambridge for PhD in October. It all got very exciting when Fitzwilliam College added me to the FB graduate group and started knowing who are the ones who would be in the same college as I do, and reading about the traditions of Cambridge. Yet, I'm right now in the 2nd phase of consideration for a scholarship which may fund my 3-year studies. I'm nervous, I'm worried, I'm scared. I'm just being human. Yet I know, I have done all I could. I had completed the documentation they needed, and emailed them right before I started writing this entry. Now, only God is left. If it is His will that I will receive some Cambridge education, there I will be, just on time, not a day early, not a day late.

As much as me being a stubborn mule, this time, may God's will be done in my life. For I know that His plans are greater than mine, more intricate and better than what I have in mind. And all His plans are to prosper me, not to harm me (c.f. Jer 29:11).

Life in Lincoln So Far...

It's been a while since I posted any entry on this public domain of free expression, and suddenly, a hyper me after a super sweet cuppa Costa coffee feel like penning something.

Yes, I'm in the UK right now, in the 4th week of the third semester of my masters program. So far, it has been interesting the semester in Lincoln, despite the exhaustion and cold I felt last week when we were out there in the field in Riseholme campus. Beautiful place, but definitely COLD is in the dictionary! Hahaha!

Simulated mass grave which we digged out last week in Riseholme College

 

 

I was in Cambridge two weekends ago and it is a perfect tiny little university town which holds one of the prestigious universities in the world. I had the opportunity to walk around the campus/town and find it intriguing if I were to study there. Lovely river Cam which runs in the city, and definitely beautiful gardens surrounding the campus and residential colleges. Queen's College was my favourite. The serenity within the college itself is undescribeable. And yes, the pristine state of life there brings peace to my heart :)

 

Last Saturday, which was just two days ago, I took the courage to drive from East Midlands to West Midlands to pick up my luggages in Vanessa's and Eva's homes (separate districts). First time is always adventurous and yes, I did it!!! I picked up my clothes and all other things which I don't really need to survive yet I have them out of vanity of life previously. Beautiful drive and God has been merciful to bless me with almost perfect, non-rainy weather throughout the drive to and fro Lincoln. Then I realize that Lincoln is home right now. The relief of going home when I finally arrived in Lincoln yesterday morning was something I never expected yet I am at peace with right now :)

 

I have class in 30 minutes, so it's time to gobble some home-made Mexicana cheese sandwiches. More coffee? Haha. Maybe not, if not I wouldn't be able to stop talking all together ;)

 

Oh yeah, another exciting moment is going to happen end of this week. I'm going to London for Les Miserables in the Queen's Theater!!! It's going to be an awesome outing, I pray, with a nice cheerful lad. May God be with us as we travel from north and south to meet in Central London on Saturday morning. Amen!

Pharmacology Exam in 8 hours

I just realized I did not blog for more than a month! That is a long time. I wasn't too busy this month in fact, yet I realized I had not achieved anything significant too. The crushed dream of traveling during Easter sort of hurt the planner pride in me, thus no plans at all! Though I have purchased a return flight to England in May. Somehow I managed to get the flights. Other than that, nothing, again.

Oh well, I have an exam on Pharmacology in about 8 hours time. I spent almost the whole day to try to study, and successfully making notes only for 4 types of drugs before my fingers called quit. Of course, my usual doses of k-dramas intermittently, not forgetting distractions like Facebook, blogger (!), Twitter, Dramabeans recaps.... Even GMail became a distraction. And yeah, my 101 excuses that I should have my meals. Now I'm munching down some raisins while studying Cardiovascular Drugs and blogging (?!)

I was just writing a comment to my ex-student from Korea about getting rid of distractions if losing concentration in studies. And I am also doing it. Better continue walking the talk. Like the present my students gave me two years ago for Teacher's Day celebration: A great teacher inspires. As much as I'm currently studying to be a forensic scientist in future, my past 3.5 years of being a high school teacher lingers around, with my ex-students around the globe. Well yeah... Up to date, the count of my ex-students studying in UK is increasing (not decreasing). I'm so surprised when I started counting. Haha. One is flying to Plymouth next month, on the day I fly in to UK for my well-deserved vacation (?!).

Tomorrow's plan is to check out Sesimbra, and Anthia Dive Center there for my SCUBA refresher course, or maybe an Advanced Adventurer course? Hmm... I had so few diving experiences since I got my license about 9 years ago. My goodness, how time flies!!!! Well, I would love to blame on the low paid jobs I had and the expensive price for diving, but I know that where there's a will, there's a way. So it wasn't really the fault of anybody that I wasn't diving. Hopefully all things go well tomorrow, as planned. Oh well, unless it rains.

Hopefully I will remember what I'm studying during exam.....

Oh yeah, I'm in the midst of Novena to St. Jude for a special intention. St. Jude is the patron for helpless and  desperate cases. I do have some seemingly helpless situation here right now. Click on the link to access the prayer.

I'm going to Fatima for a pilgrimage after my UK vacation on Pentecost weekend. Anyone with petitions can email me.

Have a blessed day wherever you are!

Finally....

Nope, this is not my bed room, nor it's my bed or desk. Just a random picture from Google Image. But I did what a serious interior designer would murder me for - ruining the interior design of my huge master bedroom to suit my very important needs. After returning from Manchester after a great and awesome weekend with Ms. Teoh, Dr. Vun and their adorable daughter, Cassandra, and also my dear sister Anne Mary, I sorta lost all motivation to study. Been attending classes religiously and going to lab practicals, but not revising or doing my homework...

As I reflected on my past habit of studying, I have a tendency of being on my bed when I read... Yet there is a need to use the reading desk somewhat. I always had my desk next to my bed when I was in the university dormitory, then when I moved to Kingfisher. Haha. Penny for my thought. I got up after a late-afternoon nap, moved the pile of stuffs from the desk to my bed, and PUSH! the desk is now next to my bed. HAHAHA!

I was everywhere these two months, but just too lazy to upload photos. People are buzzing me for photos actually... Maybe just few here and on FB at the moment :) I'll share about my travels later on :P

Anne and me in Whitworth Park, Manchester

Ms. Teoh, Dr. Vun and Cassandra, plus me

The Fourth Weekend in Cordoba

A month in Cordoba, and the furthest I've been is the Puerte del Romano at the historical side of the city, near where I stay. I have completed one month of not traveling. So once there's money from the scholarship, it's time for me to travel a bit...

Today I want to share a story of wolves in sheepskin. Too often, come to think of that, we see wolves in sheepskin. And we sometimes too become wolves in sheepskin. All these "efforts" are fueled by the need to profit something out of people. The something could be anything: money, relationships, attention, power, etc. The list goes on forever. Sometimes, we don't realize we're being eaten by the wolf until it is too late. Sometimes, when we realize it, we are at the point of death. Yet, when our alarm rings within us and we found ourselves in the mouth of the wolf, the question would be: do we want to fight back and maybe win the battle, or just let the wolf consume our flesh?

I've been in the condition where the wolf consumed me without me knowing. By the time I realized I was already dying. And indeed, it ate the whole me up, killing me softly. Recently, I got to know a wolf in the sheepskin again. I though this she-wolf is a lamb in the first place, all so innocent and seemingly kind. But when I sense kiasu-ness and pretense seeping in, it was rather odd. My continuous observations made me see selfishness and the smartness beneath all the fabricated innocence. It made me nauseous to be in the same space as the she-wolf. Perhaps all the past experiences with another wolf made me more alert about how this species of wolf preyed for it's food, that's why I am highly alert now.

I have always been a loner by nature, given to the family background I have... With only a younger brother, and both parents working, I have learned independence in doing things on my own, play on my own.. That doesn't mean I don't want to depend on others. It's just that I've always been seen as a strong and independent person. When I cried out loud the first time I was eaten by the wolf, everyone left me on my own to lick my wound, not knowing that I died. This time, I know I will not die. I will survive and outlive the she-wolf. It's time for me to refocus and follow the plans God has for me. Sometimes, people's advices are I shouldn't be so strong so that I won't intimidate the men who might want to pursue me. Yet, I believe a strong man who is after God's own heart like David, if God's willing, to pursue me will not want the pretentious me. I am strong not because of myself, but because I am weak and MY GOD IS STRONG.

So, she-wolf, it's payback time.

Europe Countdown: Day 17

Suddenly, it is less than 3 weeks before I leave. I have another 5 working days and then it is the end of my working life for the time being. Being a student is always both a challenge and leisure. I do hope being far away from my homeland will make me a stronger person. I know I shall enjoy the moments of learning and absorbing knowledge, and also the exploration of Europe herself.

As I move towards the end of July, I find myself with so many unsettled things - transfer of billing and mailing address, unpaid bills, phone package transfer, things to buy and pack, things to bring home and give away... the list goes on and on, and most of them require a sufficient amount of money (which I don't have right now). The smart organization which I am working now decided to pay my salary only on the last day of this month (my original pay date is 22nd of the month). This leaves me broke and stuck without the ability to do anything else this weekend. I guess at the moment, I can only pack my stuffs which are all over the room, and see how it goes.

I know that this challenge I will be able to pass, and God is with me. I can't describe what it means to me at the moment, with so many voices telling me that things are failing and I sometimes am disappointed with things at work etc... but I am certain that my God is a faithful God, even when I am faithless.

So, here I am, done with day 17. With 16 days at hand, many things have to be done. May I be strengthened as I journey through the final two weeks in Malaysia...

Europe Countdown: Day 35

Today is a day filled with surprises. I am down with flu, finally I'm sick after fighting against it since my last trip to KL. My mom was sick when I visited home during the weekend... Absent from school and wondering how are the teens doing. Really sorry for leaving the form ones on their own for three periods. Furthermore I have caught a cockroach in my bathroom since last Wednesday so that we could do the experiment on the cockroach... I guess I better let it go, or kill it. In fact, I am starving the poor insect underneath a tiny little container now :(

There are 34 days before leaving Malaysia. World Youth Day is 42 days to go... It's very exciting to know so many Malaysians are going, despite the high currency exchange rate that we have to experience. Thank God for all the blessings He's been showering onto me as the time draws near. Receiving the Erasmus Mundus grant itself is a blessing so huge that I see His hand over my life. Even when I lost focus and forgot to "fix my eyes" on Him, He remains faithful and stays with me until I see Him again. What an awesome God I have here!

There are many things which I have to get done. I finally found someone who is willing to house my luggage in Cordoba while I am away for YAI and WYD. Thank God for Maribel (a couchsurfer in Cordoba)! I have been hoping and praying that someone will say YES, and it's definitely grace from God that she agreed to it. I might even have a permanent place to stay for 6 months in her flat which is pretty nearby the university... This is to be discussed when I meet her of course.

I better go to bed now. My nose is rather blocked... Guess I need another day off from work tomorrow...

God bless.

Europe Countdown: Day 39

I wrote this on 30th June 2011 morning....

Oops.. I missed out DAY 40. It was yesterday. Okay, now the official announcement which was meant for yesterday....

I RECEIVED OFFER TO STUDY ERASMUS MUNDUS MASTERS IN FORENSIC SCIENCE, SO I AM LEAVING MALAYSIA TO EUROPE OFFICIALLY ON 8TH AUGUST 2011.

This is a JOYFUL news for me, as I have always been good with my research skills and would love to return to research... For five years I have contemplated about leaving the country due to the many excuses I gave myself. Yet, beyond all the excuses I have made, I knew that deep down, God's plan is greater than what I can see. So, this time round, I found myself without any excuse to say NO to Him again. Instead, I give myself the chance to trust in God's plan in my life.

Last year September, I had a long chat with Felix and Yvonne, two great friends who have been there for me since 2006 when I first joined Lifeline Ministry. It has been a long and wonderful journey with them both. The chat with me caused me to think further and deeper in my future. My question then was "Am I doing what I am called to do?" and also "Have I been using my talents which God has given to me?" Sadly speaking, I did not. I started making steps towards living my life to the fullest, which  means I have to live and use the God-given talents I have to let His light shine through me. I know I am capable to get my further degrees done if I want to. And yes, I have been passionate about my research projects etc, so I know eventually, I will be happier if I follow the passion I have...

There's this story about the Baby Camel and the Mama Camel which I heard from Derek Chong, our church youth coordinator cum my life coach during Jumpstart seminar.... It's applicable to all wild animals kept in zoo. We, the human beings, want to keep them safe and provide chances for our future generations to see these endangered species. Yet, we forgot that God creates each animal to be special and specific to their living environment. When we are put in a place where our specific talents are used, we thrive despite difficulties, and we will be happy. When we are not, then the opposite occurs. It is not that I am not happy being a private secondary school teacher, but I know there is more than just this in me. So, I need to start exploring them once again.

I applied to both Gwangju Institute of Science and Technology in South Korea and also Erasmus Mundus programs (in fact I applied for three Erasmus programs). I was pretty sure I will be going to Korea as I was in the reserved list for EM Masters in Forensic Science when the results was out in April. Yet, the Lord has His plan for me. In mid May, I received an email from the program coordinator asking if I am still interested to take up the grant offer. I took the chance since I did not hear anything from GIST yet. Only by end of May they informed me that the position is mine and all I need to do was to proceed with visa application. For the information My naive mind thought that going overseas was as easy as ABC, and I was very wrong as there are many bureaucratic steps to be taken and trips to KL had to be planned and executed.

Now, I am in the process of getting my Certificate of Good Conduct from the Ministry of Foreign Affairs, and the Non-Objection Certificate from Ministry of Higher Education so that I can proceed with the visa application with the Embassy of Spain. Fingers crossed that I will be able to get the certs when I go to KL in mid-July. Though worried, I know now I have to rely on God for His divine intervention. With God, all things are possible.

Another problem arising which I hope I can somewhat solve prior to my flight to Madrid will be the location of my extra luggages. I hope I can place my luggage in Cordoba (where I shall be for the first 6 months of my studies), but keeping them in Madrid will be equally sufficient. In fact, I'm on the "as long as there is a safe place to keep my luggage for 1 month" mode... Another challenge will be to get everything settled prior to my last departure from KK on 6th August morning - the car, the boxes of stuffs, extra clothes to give away, things to send back to Johor, bills and letters from insurance companies, mobile service providers, Streamyx... A LONG list of things to do in fact. Is there anyone who can assist me please???

So now, in the midst of all these I still have work to do. And now, to break the news to the students so that they will not be too surprised of my depart. Oh well, knowing them, they wouldn't care. But I still have the responsibility to inform them. So, nope, I am not abandoning them. It's just that I have something which my priority in life right now. And I want to know what God has in His plan for me.

Europe Countdown: Day 48

Tick tock! Tick tock! Time is drawing nearer each day.

There are another 47 days before I fly to Europe. Let's recount my day 48 in Malaysia. I went out for an hour to pick up Mel and then headed down to ATI for Erasmus Mundus Association networking meeting. However, we were disappointed because the college staffs informed us that they never even heard of this program, let alone the networking and promotional meeting. Of course, Mel and I had a good catching-up session for about 15 minutes before I drove back to school for my lesson and work. We had part II of the catching up after work though. I am hearing a lot about the negative side of being a Catholic in Europe, a region once sent missionaries to our country and spread this religion of love to our people. Why is the scandals of the church becoming the reason people no longer believe in religion? If religion is used to control the minds of the people, then Jesus must had been the most successful mind controller. Yet, He has always been giving us freewill, to believe or not to believe. He still loves us all the same... How can we be spiritual and not religious? And why these two entities are separated? Penny for my thoughts....

I'm currently having a dull headache. I guess it's the heat in KK. I'm going to miss the humidity and weather for sure. Well, enjoying every single moment of it now, since it won't be long before 48 becomes 8. Yes, I am both excited and worried if I can get all things done, while working at the same time. Of course, I need every single cent of my last two months of salary. My July salary is already being deducted due to my visits to KL. It shall be deducted again middle of July. It's probably one of the worst news, but I know God will still provide somehow. I still have my PAMA foundation (papa-mama foundation that is).

Some of my current students sort of know that I am leaving for studies soon. It's always hard to say goodbyes, but I know it won't be as tough as it would have been if I left two years earlier though. I like the 2009 batch most, perhaps it's due to the fact that they were my first batch of students, and we went through a lot together. The one and only form 5 Compassion class was memorable to me. Not only they remembered me during Teachers' Day and surprised me with the 2-kg-yummy-looking yam cake, but also their golden hearts. I'm glad to see them all (batch 2009) doing well in whatever they are doing. Ah-hah, and the self-proclaimed favorite student of mine. I stayed back until they graduated. And now they had graduated, time for me to spread my wings and fly~

So I shall continue sleeping. Perhaps taking a dose of panadol will help with my headache. I shall let the cat out of the bag soon. When day 40 comes.

God bless all!

Some Recent Updates...

Such a wonderful gift given to me on the most solemn day of all - Good Friday. I had a dream last night, that the results for Erasmus Mundus scholarship is out, and when I checked my mail.. Ta-da! The results IS out. It's just that I didn't get into the main list...

Ok, the story is this: I applied for Erasmus Mundus scholarship end of last year, and today the results is finally out. Although I'm not in the main list for category A scholarship (9 are awarded for this category this round), I'm quite happy to know I'm ranked third in the reserved list. I can't help feeling disappointed that this door to studying in Europe is not opened, but I know God has a better plan for me. Whatever that may be, I shall await with hope. If the door will be opened, someone will reject and I will be asked to fill in the position, right?

Blessed Good FRIDAY!