Currently, I should be writing my dissertation, not blogging. Yet, I felt the need to share something which is close to me heart right now, this time, in a open space, rather than my usual fix of private blog. In fact, these are areas which I greatly need any form of prayers...
Soon, this will be what's happening. My tenancy ends on 14th August, so I will be leaving Lincoln into the unknown. This has been bugging me for a while, but only today I've decided to seek for some advice from a friend. I was touched that Nelda would love to help me but they are currently refurbishing their home so there would not be storage space to help me. Their previous acts of kindness towards me and their thoughts of helping me are enough to assure me that I am loved by them. I wish I could return their kindness one day for all the love shared by both Nelda and her husband Mike. I truly appreciate their friendship, not just because of their acts of love to me, but because they are both very inspiring people, motivating me to one day open my house to friends who need a temporary shelter. When I have a home and a willing partner who shares the same direction with me of course. Nelda told me I could find storage space in Cambridge while waiting for the outcome of my scholarship application and see if it would work out.
Then comes the next big thing in my life which is currently unknown (and I trust this part is safe in God's hand). I have indeed nothing to lose, since I had nothing to begin with. Nothing much to lose out if I don't get it, and everything which comes will be a blessing from God in my life. I'm planning to further my Ph.D. education in University of Cambridge, if it is according to God's plan for me in my life. I have officially accepted the offer to continue my education there, but I have yet received any scholarship which would fund my education for the next three years, and I won't be able to pay for it myself. It would sum up to around £100K for the three years there. Yes, prestigious university with a high price to pay - both physical money, and the mental challenge - to get a "P"ermanent "h"ead "D"amage. This is my passion, locked within my heart ever since the moment I stepped into University Malaysia Sabah for the first time to get my very first tertiary education degree - BSc. (Honours) in Biotechnology.
Only God knows how shattering it was for me when I had to discontinue my attempt for MSc. back then, and how I was humbled by that traumatic experience. Yet, I know that my relationship with Jesus started off because I had nothing else to lose back then when I went to Bundu Tuhan to experience Him with the rest of the Lifeline College Students and Young Adults Ministry of Sacred Heart Cathedral, Kota Kinabalu. It was a turning point in my life, when all things changed and Jesus truly came into the picture. The guy whom I was interested and seemed interested in me quickly sensed His presence in my life and how it frustrated the relationship back then. He eventually married someone else. Right now, looking back, even my heart was absolutely broken, I thank God that He took away all that weren't in His plan for me. I could have been married and unhappy, than now, single and seeking the path which is aligning my desires with God's plan for me.
Right now, I'm training the dragon of my dissertation. No more trying to slay the dragon. Finally, after writing this out, I'm gaining momentum of the writing. I know I'm way too far behind if I were to compare with my fellow coursemates who are awesome scientists already when I first met them, be it now we're on talking terms or not. I'm always trailing behind them, wishing I could have the motivation and the energy they portrayed. In fact, I learned a lot for each and every of them, and since we're completing our masters officially in few weeks' time, I sincerely wish them all the best in their future undertakings and thanks for being there when I was difficult. It is my pleasure to have met all of you! Till our paths cross again, I shall miss you all, especially the ones currently based in Spain and Portugal.
Erasmus Mundus Masters in Forensic Science Cohort No.1, 2011-2013.
Front: Georsophila lolipogaster aka George aka Jorge
2nd row: Victor the Great aka Cachi, Haider mi abuelito, Isaac mi mejor amigo
3rd row: Smart and laidback Sammy, la presidente Lia Vania Dewi aka Audrey, Dorothy, Juvi, Dewy, the pretty and sophisticated and smart clinical pharmacist Mia, my ex-roomie cum awesome biologist Suzana aka Sue, smartie Umair who would never cease arguing with Sammy all the time, seriously calming CSI Jonathan, my first ever EM friend who is serious yet fun to be with, Eliza aka the vice president, and me
Last row: the very tall and gentle Jamal who introduced the "chop my money" dance
Okay, it's time for me to get back to the one real thing in my life. The answer to my prayers indeed (minus the backbreaking writing up marathon these coming few days)... I shall hold on to God for now, I have nothing else to lose anyway...
