Final Month in Cordoba, Spain

Yups, this is the weekend when the cold North Wind starts to blow  (finally!). This year, apparently, it is late, for some reason, the north wind was trapped in Arctic due to the "sibling" of El Nino/La Nina. Oh well, those who know me would know how glad I am that this winter isn't too cold. It is weekend, so I can hide inside my rather cold apartment for the whole few days, going out only when necessary. Anyway, I would have about 13 days to walk around, spend time with people who matter and checking out new places before I leave to Lisbon, Portugal.

Wow. Final month in Cordoba, Spain. Having been here for around 5-6 months, I wouldn't say that I won't miss this place when I leave, but I think I would miss the people whom I have come to know more than the place itself. When I bade goodbye to KK, I knew that the reason I call KK my home is the people whom I left behind to climb the staircase of studies.

The North wind stopped howling outside my window since this evening. It means that Cordoba will return to the normal 18-20ish degrees Celsius winter-spring weather. Then when March comes, it shall be summer once again. Strange place, really, weather-wise. I've experienced only few times of rain since I arrived. Only once I got drenched here. Comparing to Malaysia... Oh well.

I could not sleep because I probably had too much of Pepsi. And yeah, as I tried to sleep just now, the autopsy report kept ringing in my head. I've finally completed around 80-90% of it. Now I feel less restless. Time to sleep I guess.

Signing out at 6.02 am. (What?! It IS morning already!!!) Day 22 counting down to Lisbon.

Have a blessed Sunday, my friends!

The Fourth Weekend in Cordoba

A month in Cordoba, and the furthest I've been is the Puerte del Romano at the historical side of the city, near where I stay. I have completed one month of not traveling. So once there's money from the scholarship, it's time for me to travel a bit...

Today I want to share a story of wolves in sheepskin. Too often, come to think of that, we see wolves in sheepskin. And we sometimes too become wolves in sheepskin. All these "efforts" are fueled by the need to profit something out of people. The something could be anything: money, relationships, attention, power, etc. The list goes on forever. Sometimes, we don't realize we're being eaten by the wolf until it is too late. Sometimes, when we realize it, we are at the point of death. Yet, when our alarm rings within us and we found ourselves in the mouth of the wolf, the question would be: do we want to fight back and maybe win the battle, or just let the wolf consume our flesh?

I've been in the condition where the wolf consumed me without me knowing. By the time I realized I was already dying. And indeed, it ate the whole me up, killing me softly. Recently, I got to know a wolf in the sheepskin again. I though this she-wolf is a lamb in the first place, all so innocent and seemingly kind. But when I sense kiasu-ness and pretense seeping in, it was rather odd. My continuous observations made me see selfishness and the smartness beneath all the fabricated innocence. It made me nauseous to be in the same space as the she-wolf. Perhaps all the past experiences with another wolf made me more alert about how this species of wolf preyed for it's food, that's why I am highly alert now.

I have always been a loner by nature, given to the family background I have... With only a younger brother, and both parents working, I have learned independence in doing things on my own, play on my own.. That doesn't mean I don't want to depend on others. It's just that I've always been seen as a strong and independent person. When I cried out loud the first time I was eaten by the wolf, everyone left me on my own to lick my wound, not knowing that I died. This time, I know I will not die. I will survive and outlive the she-wolf. It's time for me to refocus and follow the plans God has for me. Sometimes, people's advices are I shouldn't be so strong so that I won't intimidate the men who might want to pursue me. Yet, I believe a strong man who is after God's own heart like David, if God's willing, to pursue me will not want the pretentious me. I am strong not because of myself, but because I am weak and MY GOD IS STRONG.

So, she-wolf, it's payback time.

Europe Countdown: Day 47

Another day has passed without a trace. As time draws near, every single day becomes precious. I'm still feeling a bit way too exhausted since my KL trip. I know the next trip is coming up very soon and I would have to replenish my energy prior to my trip. Gosh... I wish and I pray that my cert of good conduct will be issued soon. Then at least I can proceed with the visa application and be more restful at night. I've been worrying way too much. When will the date of completion be? I hope it's exactly by the time I fly to KL next month...

I'm so getting sick with the heat and all. I can't really concentrate at work and tend to miss out details which are important. This is so unfair for the people whom I'm reaching out to....

I was supposed to watch X-Men this afternoon to unwind, but I ended up watching a real cool sci-fi movie - Green Lantern - because I made a mistake on the time of the show. Well, knowing nothing about the movie, it was unexpectedly good. In fact, it reminds me of Inception and Avatar. Yeah, I believe it'd be more awesome if it's in 3D format, but I didn't want to spend extra monies on 3D. I bought a nice bag which I will use for traveling, and some cheap cotton socks. It was RM13 for 3 pairs of cotton socks in F.O.S. with 20% discount. So I bought like 6 pairs of the same kind... It shall last me for two years (fingers crossed). I'd need woolen socks if it gets too cold for sure, but that I will get it later on.

Time to rest. Tomorrow onwards I shall try my best to attend daily masses. It becomes so easy to skip mass after a period of time of absence from daily mass.... I am spiritual, charismatic, and yes, religious because I go to church and I believe the teachings of the Church are in accordance to Jesus' teachings, but our eyes are always filled with logs but we could see the tiny speck of dust of another.

God bless all!

Europe Countdown: Day 48

Tick tock! Tick tock! Time is drawing nearer each day.

There are another 47 days before I fly to Europe. Let's recount my day 48 in Malaysia. I went out for an hour to pick up Mel and then headed down to ATI for Erasmus Mundus Association networking meeting. However, we were disappointed because the college staffs informed us that they never even heard of this program, let alone the networking and promotional meeting. Of course, Mel and I had a good catching-up session for about 15 minutes before I drove back to school for my lesson and work. We had part II of the catching up after work though. I am hearing a lot about the negative side of being a Catholic in Europe, a region once sent missionaries to our country and spread this religion of love to our people. Why is the scandals of the church becoming the reason people no longer believe in religion? If religion is used to control the minds of the people, then Jesus must had been the most successful mind controller. Yet, He has always been giving us freewill, to believe or not to believe. He still loves us all the same... How can we be spiritual and not religious? And why these two entities are separated? Penny for my thoughts....

I'm currently having a dull headache. I guess it's the heat in KK. I'm going to miss the humidity and weather for sure. Well, enjoying every single moment of it now, since it won't be long before 48 becomes 8. Yes, I am both excited and worried if I can get all things done, while working at the same time. Of course, I need every single cent of my last two months of salary. My July salary is already being deducted due to my visits to KL. It shall be deducted again middle of July. It's probably one of the worst news, but I know God will still provide somehow. I still have my PAMA foundation (papa-mama foundation that is).

Some of my current students sort of know that I am leaving for studies soon. It's always hard to say goodbyes, but I know it won't be as tough as it would have been if I left two years earlier though. I like the 2009 batch most, perhaps it's due to the fact that they were my first batch of students, and we went through a lot together. The one and only form 5 Compassion class was memorable to me. Not only they remembered me during Teachers' Day and surprised me with the 2-kg-yummy-looking yam cake, but also their golden hearts. I'm glad to see them all (batch 2009) doing well in whatever they are doing. Ah-hah, and the self-proclaimed favorite student of mine. I stayed back until they graduated. And now they had graduated, time for me to spread my wings and fly~

So I shall continue sleeping. Perhaps taking a dose of panadol will help with my headache. I shall let the cat out of the bag soon. When day 40 comes.

God bless all!

Some Recent Updates...

Such a wonderful gift given to me on the most solemn day of all - Good Friday. I had a dream last night, that the results for Erasmus Mundus scholarship is out, and when I checked my mail.. Ta-da! The results IS out. It's just that I didn't get into the main list...

Ok, the story is this: I applied for Erasmus Mundus scholarship end of last year, and today the results is finally out. Although I'm not in the main list for category A scholarship (9 are awarded for this category this round), I'm quite happy to know I'm ranked third in the reserved list. I can't help feeling disappointed that this door to studying in Europe is not opened, but I know God has a better plan for me. Whatever that may be, I shall await with hope. If the door will be opened, someone will reject and I will be asked to fill in the position, right?

Blessed Good FRIDAY!

Couch Surfing!

Frankly speaking, I'm still deciding if I should share too much publicly at the moment, but I guess there's no harm sharing something interesting... I've decided to join some other KK friends to Europe for World Youth Day and Youth Arise International. After that, some self-searching traveling around nearby areas. Would really love to experience Europe... Hence found that I could do such a thing known as COUCH SURFING! It's like sleep over at some stranger's house for a night or two, sharing a dinner or so with them... and some companionship I guess.

Adventurous, yes. 100%. I pray God will guide me to the helpful, kind, truthful people of Europe! I can only trust God to take care of me and my budgeted trip.

Shall update you guys my plans soon!