Finally, The End

The whole year in UK has been great. I've made some good friends, both here in Lincoln and everywhere else. Every step I took, be it a positive or a negative one, I'm glad there are few individuals, whose names I shall retain from public eyes, who walked with me and still are walking with me. Travels were more interesting with your presence, food tasted better with you by my side, soap opera tales from dramatic me became some comedies with your laughters at my expenses, breakfasts after Sunday masses were fun time of catching up with you, the adventure of getting lost in some foreign city when it was dark, cold and raining was bearable and memorable. It took me a while to sort out my thoughts and right now, besides trying to pack up for the major move to my temporary abode out of kindness and hospitality of fellow Malaysians, I'm trying to sort of my heart and mind.

My Ethiopian coursemate, Sammy, and I had a short sharing over Thai lunch before he left. We both spoke about a real break after the two years of hardwork completing this Masters program. Indeed, sweat and tears, adding blood to the equation for the severity of it. He wishes for at least 4 months of real break, away from anything and everything. Me, the travel bunny (as per the youngling of cohort 2 today), had been sneaking off to various countries in these two years whenever money and desires crossed path. A 16-day journey to Ireland is my latest plan. Yeah, I could have done a 16-day eastern Europe trip, if the flights were cheaper. But I did feel called to go there for mini retreats and spend some time seeking God the Artist of Life through nature.

I'm in my final three nights in this lovely studio flat of mine beside returning the keys and bid goodbye to a warm, cosy dog nest of mine. During cold winter nights, my room was fuming hot. My fear of cold house subsided and conquered because of the never ending warmth. I know it'll be hard to say goodbye, just like how it was when I bade goodbye to the house I stayed for six years in Kota Kinabalu. Everything is everywhere right now. Procrastinating packing is the phrase. I don't want to leave!!!! T.T

Tidying up my project already, tying some loose ends. Meeting the junior from Cohort 2 was a realisation that I've completed the degree. Thank God for His wondrous and amazing love and blessings. Without Him, I wouldn't have made it this far.

Praise Him! ALLELUIA!

Lenten Reflection: 6th March 2013, Wednesday

Only take heed, and keep your soul diligently, lest you forget the things which your eyes have seen, and lest they depart from your heart all the days of your life; make them known to your children and your children's children.

(Deuteronomy 4:9)

This is a trying time for all Malaysians, especially those currently residing in Sabah, be it the locals or those from West Malaysia. Since my previous post on the issue of intrusion in Sabah by the sultan (whose identity is questionable) of a long-gone sultanate of Sulu, and how bloodshed had occurred, I hadn't posted a reflection of the daily readings. I have to admit and confess that I was angry with my fellow countrymen who posted troll pictures and/or politically-inclined statements on Facebook without taking responsibilities of the consequences which might happen due to their irresponsible statements. I was deeply disturbed by the current conditions which are considered one of the biggest security crises Malaysia had ever experienced ever since the days of communists attack right after independence.

Today's first reading deeply touched my heart, reminding me that the peace and unity of multiracial Malaysia aren't to be taken for granted. For about 50 years we took for granted the peace in the country while our neighbouring countries were in chaos. Right now, we finally are in the same shoes as our neighbours who struggled so much to bring peace in their nations. Indeed, as what was advised in the book of Deuteronomy - to never forget things which we are experiencing right now. We must always bear in mind and in hearts how we regain our independence and peace within the country. We must appreciate the martyrs' blood that was shed to protect our nation during this invasion of 2013. It is crucial that this should be included as part of our modern history to remind our future generation the hardship which we go through, be it physically, mentally, emotionally or spiritually, when our security forces battled with the barbaric terrorists. It also reminds me to never take for granted my homeland. No matter how far I am right now, Malaysia will always be home, and a nation which I am proud to be born as her people.

As individuals, we don't seem to be able to do anything. But as a nation, we could do something besides voicing out our opinions about the situation, that is to PRAY FOR PEACE AND SAFETY IN SABAH. Right now, we're entering the 3rd day of Divine Mercy Novena for this special intention (GMT time), while in Malaysia, it is already the 3rd day of the novena. I, personally, am very encouraged to see everybody, doesn't matter what race or nationality, is united in prayers according to their own religious beliefs. This is one of those challenging times in our nation which ignites a very strong sense of patriotism regardless of age, ethnicity or religious beliefs. May God hear our prayers and all things will be renewed in the whole Malaysia due to this event! Amen!

Please join us to pray for Sabah by joining the FB event which is created. We have been praying the Divine Mercy Novena since 5th March until 13th March. (click here to join the event)

Lenten Reflection: 3rd March 2013, Sunday

The Lord is merciful and kind... (Psalm 103:8a)

I'm writing from the desk of my friend in Liverpool, since I am currently outstation to do my sample collection for my masters project. It is indeed a blessing in my life to have met so many wonderful and hospitable Malaysian students here, and their kind assistance to my project is indeed very much appreciated. I just can't help thanking my friend, Neb, again and again for her help to lookup her friends in Liverpool. Indeed, the Lord is merciful and kind...

Today morning, as I woke up from the sleep and went through the whole routine of checking mails, and Facebook notifications, I saw more news on the intrusion of the state of Sabah, Malaysia, by the no-land Sulu "sultanate". This land has been my home for the past nine years, and all my spiritual family members residing in this peaceful land below the wind are currently at the very center of commotion. I am genuinely concerned about the current situation in Sabah when I read the news that five policemen were down during an ambush in Semporna. Since Malaysia was formed in 1963, we barely faced dangerous situations as such, at least since I was born until now. I had lived through peaceful, developing times of Malaysia. I am saddened by the fact of all the chaos which are happening back home while I am in Europe for my studies. There is nothing much which I could do, besides offering my worries to the Lord, and praying for this land and people whom I love back home, and also to relay information of my network to others who may need it in my network. But indeed, the Lord is still merciful and kind...

Many people may say that this is untrue, and rebuke that if the Lord is really merciful, such chaos would not happen. I saw something beautiful in the midst of chaos. More people are praying right now for to regain peace in Sabah. More people are united against foreign forces who are trying to invade the state. More people return to God because of difficult times. Yes, our faith is challenged by all these chaotic situations, and yes, it can be shaken. But this faith of the size of the mustard seed can move mountains if we believe that God will bring peace to His people even in the midst of stormy seas in life. Jesus calmed the sea more than two thousand years ago when the Apostles were afraid and called out to Him. He would be here with us to calm the storms in our lives, if we call out to Him too. And our God is the God of second chances, and He would be merciful and kind if we turn to Him once again.

So let us renew our faith by giving ourselves a chance to believe in God again, and pray for physical and spiritual renewals for ourselves, and for everyone else. And pray specially for peace in the Sabah, Malaysia, in times of trouble like this. Amen.

Lenten Reflection: 2nd March 2013, Saturday

I'm sitting in the train waiting for the weekend getaway to start. Looking at worried faces of the train workers and the initial failure to start the train, I have in mind of a delayed journey. I like my days planned rather than unplanned but delays as such are inevitable. Yesterday I spent the whole day in my room trying to complete my essay and I did find it hard to start. Once the ideas started flowing out, it became easier.

And suddenly the train begins the journey towards Nottingham where I'll catch the connecting train to Liverpool. Hence, my journey begins.

Today's Gospel is on the parable of the prodigal son. This is a reminder for me and probably to you all, that we are loved deeply by the Father and all He yearns is that we return home to Him despite the unworthiness we feel inside. All the sins and wrongdoings which may have hindered our relationship with God are what we should leave behind and run towards God who saves us. The act of Jesus dying on the cross has often be misunderstood as a reflection of suffering and cruelty of mankind. Yet, this very act of His death redeemed us from the Satan and reestablished our relationship with God, if only we accept and proclaim Him as our Saviour.

May we have the courage to return home this Lent no matter what we have done. Amen.

Lenten Reflection: 28th February 2013, Thursday

"Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose trust is the Lord." (Jeremiah 17:7)

Today the word for me is "trust". Many a times, I failed to trust the Lord 100%. Though I may have prayed for divine providence, I may have failed by doubting if the prayers will be granted according to my plan, my time, my way, my will. In fact, we like to have it our way all the things in life. God's ways are different from mortal ways. Our thoughts and intelligence and understanding are limited, but God is infinite. It seems easy enough to say "I will trust in the Lord", but it is an easier said than done matter. Sometimes when we pray, His answer is a big N-O when we expect it to be a Y-E-S. It can be disappointing to not have it our way. Yet, I learned that His NO in all the wrong things which I had asked through prayers was indeed the utmost blessing in my life. I wouldn't be where I am if God had granted all those bad things I had asked.

Trust in Lord is a blessing, for He alone brings true hope in life.

Even if right now it seems so hard to fully trust God, take it slow - one step at a time. Eventually, we'll get to the 100% trust in Him. If King David, who was acknowledged by God as a man after His own heart, could trust God in times of turbulence and perils, in times of dangers and sorrows, why can't most of us who are basically living in comfortable conditions trust in Him?

Lenten Reflection: 27th February 2013, Wednesday

Yesterday, the word which struck me from the daily readings was "talk".

Today, the word is "serve" from Matthew 20:28...

"... even as the Son of man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many."

Life is a mystery itself, yet, this mystery is definitely a joyful one. Sometimes there are ups, sometimes downs. However, life is never stagnant. I recall telling a worthy friend that I enjoy routine, and am rigid when it comes to routine. When I am trained to speak to one person daily, I get frustrated when the routine changes. Yet, this friend told me that there is nothing that will not change. I do agree with him, but defiantly, I rebuked him then. Yes, I know that "change is the only constant in life", as quoted from Heraclitus, a Greek philosopher. Nobody invites change in his life, but indeed, change is inevitable, just like all the changes which I am going through right now.

For the past 1.5 years, I told the people whom I know that these two years (since 2011) I want to "be still" and receive from God. Oddly enough, I feel like instead of receiving, I suck life out of the people around me sometimes. It was devastating whenever I go through my "moments" that someone in my life will lose their energy source. Right now, it is time for me to "talk" to God, and start looking at Him and learn to "serve" Him fully.

Today there was mass in campus, though not many turned up (as usual), but it was encouraging to see new faces, and yes, the presence of a lecturer of UoL was definitely encouraging! The word "serve" rang loudly in my ears as Fr. John proclaimed the Good News. Yes, while receiving, I am called to serve too, and to walk the talk which Jesus taught us through His life on earth.

Looking at the God who loves me to bits, talking to Him of all my fears and worries in life, and now, considering the mission of serving Him fully. Where will all these lead me to? What about yourselves out there? Have you considered looking deeply into yourselves to meet Him in your fears and worries? Have you tried telling Him the pain which you feel inside? For once, tell Him. May He who created you be the light unto your path tonight.

God bless.

Will You Follow Me?

A friend from the UoL Christian Union shared this on the ULCU Facebook page, and I think it is an awesome reflection for Lent. It stirred my heart into answer and action. What about you? Will you follow HIM?

Lenten Reflection: 26th February 2013, Tuesday

Hear the word of the Lord,

you rulers of Sodom;

listen to the command of our God,

you people of Gomorrah.

'Wash make yourselves clean.

Take your wrong-doing out of my sight.

Cease to do evil.

Learn to do good,

search for justice,

help the oppressed, be just to the orphan,

plead for the widow.

'Come now, let us talk this over,

says the Lord.

Though your sins are like scarlet,

they shall be as white as snow;

though they are red as crimson,

they shall be like wool.

'If you are willing to obey,

you shall eat the good things of the earth.

But if you persist in rebellion,

the sword shall eat you instead.'

The mouth of the Lord has spoken.

(Isaiah 1:10, 16-20)

Today's first reading reminds me of all the sins which I committed in the dark behind close doors, and within my heart. What really struck me is the Lord's openness to "talk this over" about our sins and how we are redeemed if we are "willing to obey", and the prophet Isaiah included both the consequences of persisting in our sinful ways and when we turn back to God. It reminds me that I have a choice, and a decision to make. To follow Him or not is up to me, really... I guess I'm more comfortable to try following Him, despite multiple falls, I live. His will is my mission in life. Though not knowing fully the plan God has for me, I still believe that His plans are the best.

Right now, in the midst of rejections of the PhD applications which I made earlier, I could only trust that His plan is greater than mine. And I am trying to "talk it over" with God about my intentions and let's see where He will lead me to. Besides the further studies intention, I, too, am intending to fuel the starting of Catholic Society in University of Lincoln while I am here. I find this an issue which is very close to my heart and hope that it will materialise. And of course, the plan is to start off with Student Alpha next week and see if it will work out :)

Lenten Reflection: Wrestling with God

Currently I'm at Beringgis Resort's main lobby after morning walk at the beach... And I read out loud the readings by the seaside. What a calm, cool and clear morning, listening to peaceful whispers of the ocean!

Here's the reflection I have done of today's 1st reading taken from the book of Jonah, chapter 3, verses 1 to 10....

Everyone has a time when they wrestle with the Lord so that they can do what they think is the best for them. The thing is God doesn't need to wrestle with us, but He will allow us to do what we like, because of the free will He gave us. Yet, there will always be a time when we will realize that what we have chosen is the path we desire. This is not necessarily a path that leads to a full and complete life. And, second chance is always given to us free by God. Again, it's up to whether we want to be obedient this time or still remain stubborn and self-sufficient.

I had my time wrestling with God when it comes to my future planning. I wanted so badly to stay where I am now that I gave up the offer that GIST's professor presented to me in the middle of my internship. If I had taken the route, I'd have gotten my Ph.D by now. Yet, the Lord is once again presenting me with this chance of furthering my studies. Like Jonah who was obedient to the Lord (c.f. Jon 3:2-3), this time I am certain I must go - be it GIST or other places. Not only that I have to give up all that I think I possess here for now, like the king who took off his robe, put on sackcloth and sat down in ashes (c.f. Jon 3:6).

How I wish there is an easy way out of this! How I wish I can retain all these! Yet, I know things will change. The only thing that remains constant is change.

At the same time, I'm wrestling with God about a person... This person knows God too, and me, he knows well. And he refuses to see me, to keep in touch for whatever reason. And when he's like that, I know there is no possibility to see him, except by divine intervention. Yet, I badly want to follow God's timing... When it's time according to His watch, I'm certain God will let us see each other again...

House Season 4

I haven't written much these days. I didn't think that it matters really to write up things which any other person can write, or things that people don't read. People may not read and comment to me that it's boring, but most people read, and probably gossip and think behind me. It wasn't that much of good experience about people anyway.

I'm pretty much sensitive at the moment due to the Who Am I? Seminar I'm sitting in this weekend. Another electrical jolt on "Who am I?" really. Another arena to explore and inviting God to heal. But this is not what I want to write about.

I just finished watching House M.D. season 4. It is the shortest season, only 16 episodes, but one of the most touching finale. I didn't get to watch the 3rd season's finale so I didn't know how emotionally triggering it was after Foreman left, Cameron resigned and Chase was fired by House. In season four's finale, Amber (Wilson's on-screen girlfriend) died of bus crash because she went out to fetch drunken House home. And House went way out to save Amber's life, went into a seizure after discovering that certain flu meds which Amber took right before the crash caused her definite death as her kidneys were destroyed at the accident. Her body was unable to naturally filter out the chemical in the flu meds.

What really touches me is how frail life is, and what we would do in order to preserve it when we suddenly find ourselves in the position where life is slipping away fast. We're no longer in control of our lives, that's when we would badly want to be in control of any other thing which we could. Young people nowadays, you and I, like routine so much because we are afraid of losing control of the few things which we think we have full knowledge of. Some people would avoid at all cost of not knowing certain facts, certain directions, even God's invitations to know ourselves deeper, just because we're afraid of going through the pain of knowing and losing control of the "wonderful life" we thought we have.

If we really think God is great, and why do we think we are not great? The formula given is "if God is great, then a great God can only create great beings. If we're created by God, and we acknowledge that God is great, then we must be great too." So if anyone who says we're not great, we're not good, then he must be telling us lies. The Scriptures taught us that the devil is the father of lies, so this must be the work the devil that we think we're not as great, or we're just some plain, boring beings.

Young people these days have this issue of not being great, and just being ok is enough, because it is safe. Great things are for others and not for ourselves. Time for us to move toward reclaiming the very fact that we can be great because the God who created us is great, and we are created to be His mirror image.

That's it. House M.D. is just a messed up imaginary images of everybody who is afraid of acknowledging and befriending themselves. That's why everybody likes House M.D. and this medical drama is one of the highest rating series in the States.

Reflection for Blessed Good Friday

Lent Day 38: The Book of James

God says, by faith you are already saved from an eternity without Me. You are justified before Me by faith in My Son, not by living well.

As My child, you will inherit a place in the kingdom, a seat at My table, a dance card for the party. That's My gift to you. It's guaranteed.

When you were justified before Me by faith and guaranteed heaven as My gift, My Spirit made you alive to Me with the life of My Son. He regenerated you. He gave you a new heart, a new and potentially consuming desire to love Me and others at any cost to yourself.

Justification makes you My child.

Regeneration provides the power to live like My child.

And because justification is always accompanied by regeneration, every justified person's way of relating will evidence the presence of divine life though that evidence may be visible only to Me.

When your faith leads to a consuming desire to love Me and others at any cost, when your faith is accompanied by a consistent pattern of good works, your life in this world will not be wasted, and your life in the next world will be uniquely blessed.


(from 66 Love Letters: A Conversation with God that Invites You into His Story by Dr. Larry Crabb, ©2009.)

Last Full Day of Lent 2010

Wednesday, March 31, 2010, Holy Week

Isaiah 50:4-9, Psalm 69:8-10, 21-22, 31, 33-34, Matthew 26:14-25
Link to Readings --> http://www.usccb.org/nab/033110.shtml

THE CELEBRATION

"I am to celebrate the Passover with My disciples in your house." —Matthew 26:18

Jesus states His intention to celebrate the Passover and the whole Paschal mystery in our houses, families, communities, and lives. We must prepare for the celebration of Holy Thursday, Good Friday, Easter Vigil, and the fifty-day Easter season. We prepare by:
* doing what Jesus orders (Mt 26:19),
* letting Jesus open our ears morning after morning (Is 50:4),
* not rebelling against the Lord (Is 50:5),
* suffering for love of Him (see Is 50:6),
* letting zeal for God's house consume us (Ps 69:10),
* praising "the name of God in song" (Ps 69:31).

Today is the last full day of Lent. We pray that our almsgiving, prayer, and fasting have prepared us for the Triduum and the Easter season. Let's bring Lent to a close by repenting of all sins, forgiving all who have hurt us, and giving our lives totally to the Lord. "Let us celebrate the
feast not with the old yeast, that of corruption and wickedness, but with the unleavened bread of sincerity and truth" (1 Cor 5:8).

Prayer: Father, may my observance of Lent 2010 be what the Holy Spirit wants in these crucial times.

Promise: "See, you lowly ones, and be glad; you who seek God, may your hearts be merry! For the Lord hears the poor, and His own who are in bonds He spurns not." —Ps 69:33-34

Praise: Praise Jesus, Rock of our salvation. "To Him be glory forever" (Rm 11:36).

Lenten Reflection

I had been engaging this particular Lenten Reflection from 66 Love Letters by Dr. Larry Crabb and I find it is an exceptionally good one today.

Lent Day 25: The Book of John

God says, in the world you now inhabit, communion with Me is not defined by an experience of Me. Nor does it depend on blessings from Me.

To really live is to release My Son's life through yours, in any circumstance, no matter what you feel; to relate as He related, giving when no one gives back, loving when no one returns love, forgiving when no one deserves forgiveness, suffering in the place of those who should suffer.

Understand this: to commune with Me in this life is to live like My Son with His life alive in you.

Believe this: communion with Me leads to an eternal experience of Me and unimaginable blessings from Me. You will get a taste of them now—as My Spirit chooses—and you will enjoy the banquet later when you see My Son.

Know this: heaven's reality has invaded yours. Prepare to live a new way.

Real life, the surprising route to joy, is within reach.

(from 66 Love Letters: A Conversation with God that Invites You into His Story by Dr. Larry Crabb, ©2009.)

How Does It Feel?

As I was browsing FB photos and reading blog updates (I do have a few blogs which I check regularly), I started wondering how an individual dating someone public would feel. "Someone public" includes celebrity (locally/internationally known), pastor/church leader, politician... (the list can be rather endless, anyway, so I shall end it before I get too long-winded!)

Just some questions that popped into my mind...

• Will it be easy to always have the relationship be in the limelight of the public?
• Will it be easy to see the boy/girlfriend always working alongside with the opposite gender?
• Will it be easy to have a committed relationship where most of the time the public one has no time for the other?
• Will there be doubts on the social circle of the opposite gender?
• Will the partner be ever secure of the commitment level of the public one?
• Will it be awkward being stared at when they go out on a date in public place?
• Will they actually have time to date?
  

Well, it just dawns to me that it seems difficult to date somebody who is a public figure. It really will train a person to practise 1 Corinthians 13:4-13 forever... Is it possible? Ok, with God it is possible, but we're mere mortals who fall.

So what say you?

Casting Crowns - Stained Glass Masquerade

Dear friends,

I'd like to invite you to reflect deeply about ourselves while listening to this song by Casting Crowns. Are we loving like how Jesus did? Are we who we say we are? Or are we plastic people, as described in the song?



LYRICS
Is there anyone that fails
Is there anyone that falls
Am I the only one in church today feelin' so small

Cause when I take a look around
Everybody seems so strong
I know they'll soon discover
That I don't belong

So I tuck it all away, like everything's okay
If I make them all believe it, maybe I'll believe it too
So with a painted grin, I play the part again
So everyone will see me the way that I see them

Chorus:
Are we happy plastic people
Under shiny plastic steeples
With walls around our weakness
And smiles to hide our pain
But if the invitation's open
To every heart that has been broken
Maybe then we close the curtain
On our stained glass masquerade

Is there anyone who's been there
Are there any hands to raise
Am I the only one who's traded
In the altar for a stage

The performance is convincing
And we know every line by heart
Only when no one is watching
Can we really fall apart

But would it set me free
If I dared to let you see
The truth behind the person
That you imagine me to be

Would your arms be open
Or would you walk away
Would the love of Jesus
Be enough to make you stay

Chorus (x2)

But if the invitation's open
To every heart that has been broken
Maybe then we close the curtain
On our stained glass masquerade

Is there anyone that fails
Is there anyone that falls
Am I the only one in church today feelin' so small

A Walk to Remember

I had a lot on my mind this morning and I needed to work out all of those mind-bogging stuffs. The concentration was high by the time I was done with lunch. I needed a dosage of salty wind and skin-burning sunlight to make right with myself... So, instead of going home for my regular walk on Fit n Fold Strider I wanted to drive all the way down to Karambunai. Looking into my mobile for time, I realized I only had about an hour to spare before getting ready for Novena in SHC...

By default, my factory system enabled my mind to work subconsciously that there is a nice, serene beach that I can go, only about 5-7 minutes drive from where I stay. I remember visiting the beach in 2007 before I decided to discontinue my MSc. attempt and start working. It was a place where I could think...

I parked my car at the jetty area and walked about 500 m to the beach. As I walked on the gravel road down the beach, I saw the blue sky and the bluer sea... I was so amazed with God of the universe, my Father God. How wonderful it is to be a part of His creations, and how great He is, to paint this world with so many colours... Different shades of blue in the sky and on the sea; different shades of green on the leaves; different colours of the seashells... I was awestruck, and amazed at God's creation. It is indeed a walk to remember...

A walk where I had time to sort out my mind with God, a walk where I spent time with God. What amazed me was, I didn't have the time to think about those mind-bogging stuffs. Instead, I recognised the tiny me as a speck of sand in the vast ocean. And yet, God still recognises my everything!

When I checked out the seashells and started collecting them, all I knew was His greatness can overpower and has overcome all mind-bogging stuffs! He's just so wonderful! And how blessed I am to know this God who loves me to the very end!

Mr. Darcy - An Ideal Life Partner?

As I was browsing through the comments for the trailer in Youtube, I saw people saying "Does Mr. Darcy exist?" and things like "it is amazing that even though Mr.Darcy was created century ago, he is still the ideal man for most women today."

When I watched the movie and having lots of "short-circuit" moments, mostly laughing and amused with the emotions of the characters were displaying, I couldn't help but wonder if Mr. Darcy exists in modern world, TOO.

Well, my impression of Mr. Darcy in the movie... Rather imprudent, but very loyal. Not good with words, and loves with his action. He's a person of dry humour I guess. It reminds me of somebody I know but a moment later, to realize perhaps Mr. Darcy doesn't exist after all. Or perhaps, my very own version of Mr. Darcy is lurking somewhere, stalking me unknowingly? Maybe... Maybe... Maybe... Or maybe my Mr. Darcy is "in the making" now? Maybe... Maybe... Maybe... Actually... Actually... I'd like to have a Mr. Darcy too! LOL!!!

Oh well, I'm a sucker for romance actually, though I rarely show that part of me by telling others. Haha! This is the first time I'm admitting publicly that I love romance. OMG! Well, I can't force others to like what I like, neither can I brainwash anybody to like what I would dropdead for. I'm just me, though imperfect, still loved by God.

Here's an interesting link to a P&P website which stated the endings of the movie... The version that I have with me doesn't have the ending at Pemberley. The version I have ended here:

Longbourn Library - Day (last scene)

Pemberley - Night (Last scene for US edition)

I actually saw the Pemberley night scene in cinema when I watched this movie for the first time. I liked how the movie was directed, saving the best for the last. Rarely I saw any movie these days without a "kissing scene", but this is one of the very few movies that has only ONE kissing scene at the end of the movie (after the credits).

Before I end, I think there is one important point of me writing here is the essence of the movie... Well, personally, I find the movie speaks loudly to me about how sometimes the first impressions on individuals may be wrong, and sometimes, we may have built up prejudice towards another. And when we realize that we're wrong, it is hard for us to admit so, because of pride. That's what I see of Mr. Darcy and Lizzy...

Mr. Darcy thought Lizzy was "barely tolerable" the first time they met, while Lizzy thought of him as pompous and proud (probably cold) too. Then when Mr. Darcy discovered that he found Lizzy irresistable and loved her, Lizzy rejected his proposal because of the prejudice she had about him (the statement she heard him made, his act of breaking up Mr. Bingley and Jane, her sister, what he thought about her family etc.). Yet after her rejection of him, she realized that deep down inside her, she actually found herself loving the man she hated. She wouldn't bring herself to admit that, until the end of the movie where she could resist him no more.

I guess I do have some part of "Lizzy" in my life that I need to work it out... I just couldn't understand how come it is so hard to build a bridge across two individuals who are so different from each other!!! Practically no similarity...

Time to sleep... A long day to go, tomorrow that is.

God bless!

Ephesians 5:19

The readings for today are taken from Proverbs 9:1-6; Psalm 34; Ephesians 5:15-20 and John 6:51-58.

What struck me most this weekend is from the second reading, Ephesians 5:19-20...

"As you sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs among yourselves, singing and making melody to the Lord in your hearts, giving thanks to God the Father at all times and for everything in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ." (New Revised Standard Version)

"Sing psalms and hymns and inspired songs among yourselves, singing and chanting to the Lord in your hearts, always and everywhere giving thanks to God who is our Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ." (New Jerusalem Bible)

These two versions are similar, yet to me, a bit different... From what I understand of verse 19, there are two roles we have to play when it comes to worship... First one, in community, we have to always remember to sing songs inspired by God (spiritual songs) and hymns and psalms, a.k.a. Praise & Worship session... Second part, when we're alone, when we're not with our community, we still have to remember to sing to our Lord in our hearts... This act of worship doesn't stop when we leave our community gatherings. Instead, this act of worship goes on and on until we meet again during the next gathering...

Most churches, including our Catholic church, have prayer meetings, community gatherings, Life Nites (specially for Lifeline and Lifeteen)... Once a week. So what do we do from the P&W session of that week until the next week?

Yes, we worship the Lord with songs and melody in our hearts... But how? Make it a point to at least do one of the things listed here, or more: Listening to scripture-based, or God-inspired worship/praise songs more than listening to worldly music, pray daily, do daily readings (Catholic church we have a set of daily readings, other denominations may follow some other weekly devotions), attending daily masses, praying the rosary... and so many other ways where we can worship God in our daily lives.

As for me, I set aside 30 minutes a day to attend daily mass, as my daily walk with Christ. Through the Eucharis, I have received numerous healings and forgiveness. And I know the Real Presence of Jesus is in the Eucharist... It is not merely symbolic, but He is indeed truly present in the Eucharist. And as you progress with your walk with Jesus, you'll realise how insatiable He is.

Like what Mary said in Luke 1:46-48,
"My soul proclaims the greatness of the Lord and my spirit rejoices in God my Saviour; because he has looked upon the humiliation of his servant..."

Indeed, God is worth all our proclaimation of His goodness and especially, His Salvation, because He came down and saved us all even when we're sinners. He loves us all so much that He who has no sins died for our sins.

I thank God for everything, and in everything, I would like to encourage you all to make worship a lifestyle.

Have a great week ahead. God bless!

Carrots, Eggs and Coffee

A carrot, an egg, and a cup of coffee...You will never look at a cup of coffee the same way again.

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up, She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil.. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil; without saying a word.

In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, ' Tell me what you see.'

'Carrots, eggs, and coffee,' she replied.

Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard boiled egg.

Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma. The daughter then asked, 'What does it mean, mother?'

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity: boiling water. Each reacted differently.. The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.

'Which are you?' she asked her daughter. 'When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?

Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?

Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest do you elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you happy.

The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can't go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling.

Live your life so at the end, you're the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.

You might want to send this message to those people who mean something to you (I JUST DID); to those who have touched your life in one way or another; to those who make you smile when you really need it; to those who make you see the brighter side of things when you are really down; to those whose friendship you appreciate; to those who are so meaningful in your life.

If you don't send it, you will just miss out on the opportunity to brighten someone's day with this message!

May we all be COFFEE!!!!!!!

What is Beyond the Comfort Zone?

I've been wondering... What is beyond the comfort zone of home? Do I get to see sunshines and rainbows? Or is it full of thorns and troubles? What about the experiences? What about the friends we have now? What about our family? What about all that is important to us?

There are comfort zones everywhere, how do we handle the shifting of comfort zones? Am I ready to handle that much?

I guess when time comes, I'll be ready... Probably the trip to Perhentian Islands brought me to this dreamy state of pondering and wondering... I'm dreaming of the deep blue sea, swimming with Tripod again...