Kuching Alpha Conference 2010

I had the once in a lifetime opportunity to meet Nicky Gumbel, Pippa, his wife, Tim Hughes, Al Gordon and Jamie Haith from Holy Trinity Brompton Church. It was really a great experience to hear from the pioneer of Alpha course, Rev. Nicky Gumbel, and also his team members. The above photo was taken with Nicky Gumbel and Pippa. Nicky is a very good and funny speaker, and his wife is a very gentle and demure lady. It was really a blessing to have the chance to know them. Besides them, we were also blessed to have Tim Hughes as our worship director during the two-day conference. Jamie and Al also gave good sessions.

Not only I got the opportunity to see these people who work full time to spread the Good News through Alpha, I also found joy in meeting new people, and a priest, Fr. Simon Poh from St. Joseph's Cathedral. I met him years ago when I went to Kuching for YCS Encounter 3 in Dec 1998. That was almost 12 years ago! All the photos were uploaded to my Facebook. I will try to upload them here. Currently the internet is crawling slowly at its own pace. Argh!

The whole conference really opens a new arena for me to consider - the evangelizing part of our faith as Christians. Alpha is a non-threatening evangelistic tool, and indeed, we are witnessing the conversion in so many individuals around us. It was a blessing from God, truly, for me to attend this conference, and my eyes are opened to the possibility of spiritual renewal through Alpha. Do I want to serve in this area? I would love to speak to youth (be it teens or young adults), but am I called? I may be called. But... Am I invited?

I'm going through a desert phase in my spiritual life right now. But I know that Jesus, the Living Water is building clouds over my desert, so that He can rain down His Spirit unto me after this phase. I'm not ashamed that I am going through phases like such, because I'm made of flesh and I do have struggles. Many times I see people pretending they are alright when they are not. They seem spiritually high, but they are not even managing their lives properly.

I may be deafened by the noises around me for a moment, but I believe that I will eventually walk towards the voice of Jesus, like how Paul, whose eyes were blinded, was healed and converted.

Like what I shared with a student yesterday, it's all about the willingness to receive from Jesus. If there's nobody who was willing to offer his five loaves and two fishes to Jesus, would there be a great miracle to feed 5000 men? I am willing to allow Him to work through me. So I pray that He will use me the way He finds me deem fit. He knows what I can do best, though sometimes we think we know ourselves better.

And you out there, do you want to offer yourselves willingly to Jesus so that He can do His wonders in you and through you?

Can I Have A Glass of Water?

In the Gospel of Mark, Jesus said these two verses to His disciples:

"If anyone gives you a cup of water to drink because you belong to Christ, then in truth I tell you, he will most certainly not lost his reward. But anyone who is the downfall of one of these little ones who have faith, would be better thrown into the sea with a great millstone hung around his neck."
~ Mark 9:41-42 ~

Have you ever offered a cup of water to a little child? Or have you done enough damage to one? I have to admit there are times when I should have used better phrases against my own students (who supposedly to have fragile heart syndrome due to hormonal influences), but somehow I, too, fall to this trap of the Satan... to get irritated and eventually become sarcastic and angry. Yet, what JC (acronym of Jesus Christ) taught us to offer more than what we have to others because in every other person we come into contact with, there is Christ dwelling in them. So it is fair and square when JC said that he who offers a cup of water to the one who belongs to Him will not lose his reward (whatever that may be).

Besides, in v.42 JC warned His disciples (did you know that includes US too?) that if we jeopardize one's faith or cause downfall to the people with child-like faith for God, we will also receive punishment. He would love us, His followers, to live with a heart of compassion for everyone and offer all that we can give to those around us. And that is how we can pass on the faith by expressing faith through love (cf. Galatians 5:6).

What are you thinking right now? Are you doing what you think you are doing? Or are you in tune with what God is calling you to do? Fr. Stan touched my heart deeply and stirred my heart to serve His people when he sang the song "Here I am, Lord" during the two-day Youth Rally in Foo Chow Hall, KK in his last session. And the song's chorus sounds like this:

Here I am, Lord! Is it I, Lord?
I have heard You calling in the night.
I will go, Lord, if You lead me,
I will hold Your people in my heart.

Have you answered His call tonight? Have you done what He asks of you tonight? Do you have fears to plough through the darkness, not knowing what is the next thing God has in plan for you? No worries, you're not alone in this journey. I also share the same issue about taking steps of faith, no matter how tiny it may be, in order to answer that call that He has shown me since I was a teenager. I have done what I can for the past one year, and God is asking for more (I think maybe God likes to drink Pepsi - you know, Ask for More!) than just what I have been doing. It is going to take me great courage to swallow huge ego and lotsa pride in order to voice out my desire to the rightful "authority" on earth so that I can plough through my plains in His light.

May His everlasting light shine upon us as we sleep through the night and work through the day (or study). God bless all. Pax et bonum.

P/S: Comments are always welcomed. The more the merrier! :P

Alpha? Yes, Alpha.

Personally, I think I had posted a pathetic point of view during my last entry. And after a long period of silence, here's what had been happening in my life. Yups... As per image of the entry, Alpha course is what I've been attending rather faithfully for the past few Mondays. This course is organised by the church's Light of Jesus Christ Covenant Community (LJCCC) and I was encouraged by Aunty Agnes Kong to attend the course (on the funny basis that I need not cook on Monday evenings). What really encourages me to continue going week after week is the desire to know more about my own faith and also to go back to the basic. Many-a-times, we tend to forget our basics, the foundation of the church based on the the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, etc. This course is acting as a refreshment for me in order to deepen my relationship with God. And indeed, I hope, it is working out well.

I was in Pace Bene, Papar, for the Alpha weekend away, where we listened to the DVD talk by Nicky Gumbel about the Holy Spirit. I guess the highlight of the whole weekend was the ministry time where we were being prayed over. It was really good and I saw changes, really obvious ones, on some of my fellow group members. The obvious joy that is bubbling inside them was so contagious that spending a few minutes talking to them made me joyful inside too. The mass was celebrated by a hilarious priest, Fr. Eric Jerome. He spoke with such fervent and so much of zeal in him. He used very hilarious and down-to-earth type of examples when it comes to explaining about human relationships and our relationship with God, etc. Not forgetting the hilarious Uncle Patrick from the community who kept telling me that I have four angels with me ever since we first met him during Inner Healing and Transformation Seminar last November (2008). My friend, Irene, told me that Uncle Patrick told her he saw four angels laughing with me after I was being prayed over by Uncle Daniel Kong during the seminar in Bundu Tuhan. And he mentioned he has 10 angels with him. Amen to this uncle!

Of course, I was revealed a specific call to serve during this session. In fact, it was a continuation from the previous seminars and talks and worship sessions I had. The need of intercessors in the ministry seems to have caught up with me. I've spoken to Aunty Lucia, one of the intercessors of the community regarding the recent calls, which I personally would say, made by God through the Holy Spirit during my prayer time, worship sessions, when I was being ministered to. The short sharing with her this morning regarding my dad's condition and then about my question on "the call to be an intercessor" gave me a warm fuzzy feeling. The fuzzy and warm feeling gave me 100% assurance and comfort at the moment she smiled and started telling me how she intercedes for people. Never had I shared so openly about this call, and tonight, I actually felt the need to get it published on my blog.

So far, ever since I stepped down from Lifeline leadership, this is the first time I actually journaled openly about this call to serve. Though still in the midst of discerning and also I still need to speak to certain "authorities" in ministry about this call, I would love those who read my blog to pray for me and with me about this. The more the merrier when it comes to prayers. I'm unsure if I'm ready to share my dear sister's burden on interceding for our ministry, but what Aunty Lucia shared really encourages me to try it out. She told me that the intercessor will pray for the ministry and "transfers" the burdens transferred from the individual/ministry's shoulder to our shoulders to Jesus' shoulders. And then we will feel light and all. In fact, I would conclude from Aunty Lucia's sharing that God is more than happy to take the burdens of ministry from the shoulders of intercessors and intercessors should not take the burdens and keep them on their shoulders. I'm bad at transfering word-by-word message, but I guess this is the gist of it.

Time for me to go back to my pending work. Before leaving, I would really encourage everyone to attend Alpha course in your church (I know that many churches around the world are offering Alpha courses, including in Catholic churches!) because no matter how much we know about our church teachings, Scriptures and we have personal relationship with God and all, it is never too much to listen and understand the very basic facts on Christianity. Furthermore, we won't know when we'll meet a person who might require us to explain the basics to them. Do not fear that Alpha course may take you off from your own ministry. I, for one, still think that I'm called to be committed to the ministry that I'm already in.

Thank You, Lord God, for sending Aunty Agnes and all others to invite me to Alpha. Thank You for opening my eyes to things I've never really seen previously. Thank You, Holy Spirit, for guiding me and slowly revealing to me more and more each day. Thank You, Lord Jesus, for Your willingness to die for us because You love us. AMEN!

His Grace is Sufficient for Me

This post is in fact a follow-up of my previous entry... I'd say God works in miraculous ways and never ever say never to anything because we'll never know how things will turn out in the end. God is greater than just this, thus it is hard to fathom His steps and plans. Yet, His plans are always to bless us, to give us joy, to love us. Even at times when He performs disciplinary actions on our wild and erratic behaviours. That's our God.

Today is the Feast of the Baptism of Jesus, and I had been looking forward that our first Life Mass of the year would be celebrated by Archbishop John Lee since like Thursday... Thank God for answering my needs and desires! He was the one... Hehe! I was more than happy not to serve in worship but to sit quietly in the VIP seat of frontest pew. If we refer to Joanne's entry, the title for Archbishop is His Lordship... One point of his homily truly affirmed me of my fear and my uncertainty about the path I should take as I continue serving my students in the form of teaching them Religious Knowledge... He mentioned that our mission is to go out and tell the whole world that Jesus is the Son of God.

"Seek the Lord while he may be found, call upon him while he is near; let the wicked forsake their way, and the unrighteous their thoughts; let them return to the Lord, that he may have mercy on them, and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon."
~ Isaiah 55: 6-7 ~

His Lordship also gave an explanation on these two verses which struck me in the form of affirmation that He is with me in this situation I'm facing in school now... He mentioned that many have gone far away from God and thus we should "seek the Lord while He may be found" because there will come a time when He'll not be found. Also, regarding "let the wicked man abandon his way" is a call for us to conversion and new direction in our lives. We have to know our mission to live in this world... It seemed that as I continue seeking the Lord as this is my season to seek God first above all things, I too have to seek a new direction in the things I'm assigned at this moment. I see it as a sign of affirmation that changes should be seen to with regards to the RK teaching for MN students.

The second affirmation came from Derek when we met him after mass for breakfast... I was listening to his conversation with Joannes about knowing our calling from God... He mentioned about writing down things that give us joy in our lives daily and what areas that cause our anger... The joy in our lives is what God is calling us to, and also God will always call us in a way that will prosper us and not harm us. It affirms me of my calling, which I seemed to just know as a teenager years back. As about faith formation for youth, he mentioned about connecting with them, building relationship with them as the first importance. Syllabus and reference are also important, but we also need to understand that all that we do must eventually lead this group of youth closer to God. We ourselves also need to reflect in our lives the presence of God, our relationship with God.

The third affirmation came when Mirina, Von Koh, Jocey and myself went shopping in Karamunsing. God is so amazing and He made me speechless and filled with joy in Salvation Bookstore. It was direct answer to the dilemma I had on my mind since my first clashing with the "Baby Boomer Generation" of RK teachers. It was a book entitled: "Be the Change: Your Guide to Freeing Slaves and Changing the World". Not that I've never experienced God's direct answers, but I still am filled with awe and amazement of how He affirms us, His beloved children.

After three affirmations on the same day, I'm happy and joyful to know where I am led to by the Spirit of God with regards to this "worry". Thus, His grace is indeed sufficient for me...

"Three times I appealed to the Lord about this, that it would leave me, but he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness." So I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me."
~ 2 Corinthians 12: 8-9

Renewed Spiritual Life?

This week is "week 1" of the school academic calendar, so my battle started already... I put it as battle because I could barely sleep every night, and had to wake up early every morning. Lessons were fine, but there are some hiccups regarding Religious Knowledge teaching material.

I wonder what is the whole purpose of teaching "Religious Knowledge" all about? Showing God to the students by reading the books describing about Him? Or guiding them to personally experience God and His mighty love? Leading them to form their spiritual life? Or just going through the motion because it is easier to do so and be perfect submissive to the rigidity of the so-called "un-renewed" style of Christianity?

I'm blessed with the opportunity to be involved in my early days of youth in youth ministry. Charismatic Renewal of the Catholic Churches began somewhere much earlier than the 90's when I started mingling with CCR people in church. Yet, it made a deep impression inside my heart, causing me to realize the our God wants us to be more intimate with Him, seeing Him as our confidante in fact. As I continue my journey of life, at this moment, indeed this becomes my first purpose in life, also my utmost struggle in life. Yet, to "install" this knowledge inside the head of teenagers is even tougher than earlier. We're basically battling with all the noises of the world to lead this group of people to hear God's tiny, gentle voice in their hearts.

It seemed like yesterday when somebody ever "installed" in my heart this important message: "You have to be M.A.D. in order to M.A.D." which read "you have to make a decision in order to make a difference". And truly so, when it comes to the process of renewal of this generation of young people, if I want to play a part in leading them nearer to God, I gotta make changes and differences in my own life. All that happened in 2008... it happened. Like my previous post, I can't deny there are times when I feel left out, alone without much support from my previous "gang"... But I also can't deny of His blessings, His grace, His mercy, most importantly, His love in my life.

Now back to the point, how can I be M.A.D. enough in order to M.A.D.? Submitting to the rigidity that's been proposed and continue this faith formation in such a "knowledgeable and theoretical" way doesn't seem to reach out to the youth who have the common problem of "seeing is believing". Instead, we seem to be pushing them further and further away from us. Maybe they could be shocked with the incredible amount of knowledge about God and His plan of salvation without knowing why He wants to do so for us... The answer is plain simple - just because He loves us... And all Christians (including Catholics) should be able to transfer this love of God through our everyday lives. Yet, are we doing so? Am I doing so? Are we transfering this love that we receive from God through our everyday lives to the people we're reaching out for? Am I doing the right thing making this stand to hope to see to some drastic changes in the faith formation of my students? Or should I just stay quiet and follow all the instructions laid down together with the text book used for faith formation, just because we have to submit? Is submission an "all the time" thingy?

I've seen the submission of Christ to the cross, the submission of Mary to the conception of Jesus by the Holy Spirit. So beautiful, so noble, so impossible for human beings apparently (reminder: Jesus was truly human, Mary was also truly human). Then again, I also see how Jesus made a difference in His Father's house. How much He made a difference all the time by laying His hands to heal the lepers on Sabbath day despite the facts that scribes and Pharisees were against it, the miracles He performed out of compassion for His people, to heal the blind, to take up that cross. I wonder how long did he ponder to make the decision to perform the miracle when He attended the wedding in Cana when His mom, Mary, asked of His help. That decision He made did make a big difference in the newly-wedded's lives, forever. Imagine if Jesus ran away out of fear instead of making that difference of casting out all fears arising in Him at that moment which He knew He was going to suffer terrible death... What would have happened to the world now? Probably God would have sent terrible flood and drowned all of us, and I won't be sitting in front of my curiously surviving laptop typing this entry.

There was a reading this week that has the phrase taken from 1 John 4:18 about "perfect love casts out all fears". When I reflected and looked upon the crucifix in St. Simon that day during evening mass, this was how I felt. I think Jesus willingly died on the cross because He knows of His Father, our God, so well that He knows the love of His Father was perfect love. This love of God casts out all His fears, anxieties, worries about dying on the terrible cross in order to redeem us from sins that we've committed. And His love for mankind, was also perfect love, which in turn strengthened Him at the cross. I guess, in order to be more and more like our Creator, to be more and more like the Man who saves me by dying on the cross, I have to strongly and firmly believe that this perfect love which I'm receiving all the time from God will cast out all fears in me and guide me in making the right decision.

So I guess, since the world seems to be oppressing me to make that decision to make a difference in the lives of my students, then what I'm doing is definitely what the world hates. Thus, I should continue believing in that tiny voice in me who reminded me about perseverance (that huge word I learned when I was in Form 2).

"You have not chosen Me, but I have chosen you, and ordained you, that you should go and bring forth fruit, and that your fruit should remain; that whatsoever you shall ask of the Father in My name, He may give it you. These things I command you, that you love one another. If the world hate you, you know that it hated Me before it hated you. If you were of the world, the world would love his own; but because you are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hates you."
~ John 15:16-19 ~

Thank and praise God. Amen!

Till then... Pax et bonum.

Time Flees, Love Stays

I wonder if I had a similar entry when I first started this blog... Well, this is just another of my ramblings before nesting in my dog nest. Anyway, tomorrow is Epiphany!!! Although it is the end of Christmas season, but it is the brand new start for us. Hence, this entry symbolizes a brand new start of the year... So MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY EPIPHANY!!!

Year 2008 brought me great joy, great sorrow. I wouldn't say I didn't receive the same amount of blessings as everybody did from God, but I would say this road had been a real tough one. I lost so much, gained as much too. This year (2009) is another year of the Lord. I don't know what lies ahead of me, but I know who holds all the tomorrows I have on His hand. Yups, beautiful Lord, wonderful Saviour. Sometimes it is hard to believe in His real presence, but at this moment there is no way I can doubt His presence in my life. Though great sorrow after great joy, I know the love that He brought to me will never change. People may not be able to understand what I had gone through or what I'm going through, but He knows me best. All that are happening is according to His will I hope.

I pray that you who read my entry at this moment will be blessed with a year of love, joy, hope and peace in the Lord, and that all that you do is according to God's holy will... The peace we receive in our hearts is the greatest treasure that one can keep within us. I pray that year 2009 will be a year to remember for us. Just like how year 2008 was. I know, time will pass, memories will be created, but this love that's been given to us from God, it will stay forever. And all I can do is to continue believing in Him, trusting that He will bring me to where He wants me to be, and to continue to grow deeper with Him. Amen.

CG Retreat - God is with Us (Psalm 46)

My CG, Whispers of Wind (WoW), went for our 2nd annual CG retreat at the residential campus of Montfort Youth Training Centre in Kinarut from 27th to 28th December 2008. I'm happy that 14 said "yes" to the retreat, but Maxwell couldn't make it due to wedding reception this weekend. Anyhow, here are some snippets of what happened and how God showed His grace and mercy to His children - us.

Last year WoW was in Alvin Voo's chalets behind his house, which was a blessing for us. We had our very first CG retreat with Salt of the Earth (SotE) somewhere in December as well. The retreat was focusing on Psalm 13. This year, our theme for CG retreat was "God is with Us" after discernment by our CGL, Denis Tsen. My part of discernment came up with the verse taken from Psalm 46, verse 10... Be still, and know that I am God! I am exalted among the nations, I am exalted in the earth. Only during the retreat when I borrowed Denis' bible to make comparison between versions that I realized that the "title" of this psalm in Good News Bible is "God is with Us". Praise God for His plans, revealed for His glory, in His own wondrous ways!!!

Basically we planned for a free & easy retreat, where we get enough time to bond, rest, have fun with God and among ourselves. Not only we achieved building relationship bonds among us, we also achieved the purpose that God has for us, to venture into a journey with Jesus. In our very different ways, God touched each of us, all because we are all very special children of God. Thanks be to God, our Father! Amen!

What did we do? The activities started when we arrived Montfort about 10am... We were "residing" in the rooms of St. Gabriel's Annex in the residential campus of Montfort Boys. Upon arrival, we sent our bags to respective rooms, ensuring everybody had a place to stay was in fact my duty as the HR personnel for the retreat. Somehow it became mine after I've decided to assist CGL with that role. After that, I toured around the annex and showed the way to the room for Marcel and Jacinta (the married couple in our CG). Our chef of that weekend was Joanne's mom, Aunty Theresa. She was preparing our meal when we arrived. Thank God for her willingness to help us with the food... If not I guess my members would have to bear with my cooking~~ LOL! (Did I hear some "oh nooooo!!" somehow? I hope not.)

After everybody had enough acclimatizing time, we gathered everybody and had our first session of games in the hall, conducted by Joanne. Thanks to Joanne, we all had fun during the first 1.5 hours of arrival in Montfort. As everybody was getting hungry and Joanne's mom "beeped" us that lunch was ready, thus all of us sort of rushed back to dining area for our lunch... The yummy Nasi Lemak with sambal prawn, boiled egg and fried chicken. My goodness, it was so delicious that I wanted a second round of rice, but I didn't because I still have to take care of my carbo intake. But I had second helping of sambal prawn with cucumber slices. Everybody was given time to rest and unpack after lunch until about 3pm. Due to my dance class in KK, I had no choice but to leave everybody and headed down to Foh Sang for class. By the time I arrived it was about 5.20pm and they were playing balloon games outside the annex.

Remembering that all my stuffs were practically frozen and uncooked and dinner was about 1.5 hours away, I kept my stuffs into the room and "conquered" the kitchen until Jon Wee came in to fry bananas for the rest who finished games and kinda hungry. Thank God for the fried bananas, if not they would be complaining that dinner was served late. We only started our steamboat dinner at about 8pm, instead of the original plan of 7pm. Sorry guys! Praise and thank God also for the great help of Jacinta, Joanne and Denis, who helped in their own ways, especially Jacinta, without her, I doubt we could get the soup done by the time we prepared everything. I gotta learn more the art of cooking from moms.

The dinner was great, I guess the happiest moment for me was to see everybody whipped off practically everything on the table, including the fried nasi lemak with sambal prawn, as some of the members had to eat rice and the only thing I could provide them was the left over lunch. I guess that's the joy of it. I finally got my share of prawns when everybody slowed down and there were a great amount of prawns left. Knowing that CGL loves prawns as much as I do, I did share with him whatever that was left. Haha! Look! How kind I am!! (Ok, I know, minta puji a bit bit here... LOL!) I'm just joking~~

After dinner and washing up, we finally entered the conference room for our session. There wasn't any photo taken because I was busy crying. (HAHAHAHA!!!) Well, that was true, but I guess the real reason is this: the session shall remain as a mystery of love from God, which touched our very own lives in God's very own ways for us. Of course, I can share what we did... Firstly, we had the session of "washing of feet". Two thousand years ago, Jesus washed the feet of His disciples in the upper room before the passover meal (Do refer to John 13 for more info.) It wasn't His job to wash the feet of His disciples, but this act that Jesus had done shown great humility, servant leadership and most importantly, His forgiving heart... It also shown us the grace and mercy of our Lord who died for us on the cross a few days after He washed the feet of His disciples, including Judas Iscariot who betrayed Jesus. The first person to start was our CG leader, then me next... A few of us had the priviledge to wash everybody's feet... Towards the end of this session, the members were only asked to wash the feet of their neighbours due to time constraint. The next session was a Christmas Devotional session, where readings, reflections were interluded with Christmas Carols. Quiet, reflective and deep mystery of God's love - the birth of His Son, Jesus on earth to Mary. Because of Mary's willingness, a Saviour was born to us. That's the greatest mystery of His love for us...

After the session, some of us stayed back in the conference room to continue singing carols. After everybody left, I had a short discussion with CGL on the next day's plan. One thing I learned that night was the sessions conducted by leaders, many-a-times were done because the leaders (we) needed it more than the receivers of the sessions. Basically I was fretting over the morning prayer session. Though not all of what CGL said went into my head, but I still thanked God for the discussion. Nothing could be revealed about it... But it was something important for me, at least. Many might not know, but the last time I had spoken to CGL properly, one-on-one, about spiritual stuffs was about 5 months ago. I thanked and praised God for all that we had gone through, all that we are going through since July 2008 until now. I've to admit I had been a "man of little faith" like how Jesus scolded Peter when he was walking on water and sunk. God really slapped me hard enough the next morning when I saw Joanne's mom bringing the speaker right before our morning prayer session...

After discussion, I sat outside the room for a few moments of silence with God. All I knew was my strength came from God and only through Him things will be done. If He wanted a session without the speaker and the song, He would have it done that way. All I could ask was that I'm being used as His instrument of love. With peace at heart, I finally slept until the next morning. Probably I cried too much and my eyes were swollen when I woke up, I couldn't even open my eyes when I somehow managed to find my way out of my room to the toilet. When I finally opened my eyes, they were bloodshot eyes and swollen. Haha!

God was being so kind to me that morning. He had given me great joy of reconciliation, and a greater joy to know that He is God... Indeed, the verse "Be still, and know that I am God!" was exactly the verse for me throughout this retreat. Everytime when I let go and allow Him to take control, He made wonders out of me. I'm no super woman, but my God is a super God. Literally, "be still" has the meaning of keeping quiet, being silent, to listen. Biblically, if you had been following my blog, you'd know that I ever posted something on Psalm 46:10, "be still" has the meaning of to slack, to let drop, to be disheartened or weak. Thus, the moment when I acknowledged I couldn't do it without Him taking charge of it, He made all that was planned happened, despite the fact I doubted it. Not only I received grace, I also received mercy from Him. He had forgiven me even before I realized it. One part of that previous entry that I liked was this:

It is “God’s past” that provides calm for “our future.” Know that he is God! Know it, not merely intellectually, but practically, spiritually, and emotionally. He is your God. He is the ruler of kingdoms of this earth and the all-powerful Creator of the Universe.

Thus, the morning prayer session happened, and it happened to me specifically... The gospel reading, the psalm, the song which lyrics we reflected upon (This is Our God w/ What Child is This by Travis Cottrell) all spoke of the same theme - the grace and mercy of this little Babe who saved the world because of His great love for us. Indeed, God was made man and dwelt among men on Christmas. And as Christians, Christmas happens everyday to our hearts.

After the morning prayer session, we had to pack up and have our lunch because last minute Bro. Francis informed us he would not be in and thus would locked up. Not forgetting we sang him a birthday song because it was Bro. Francis' birthday on 28th December!! So instead of having our sharing session, we packed and cleaned up. After that, we had lunch and headed back to KK. Since we would be attending mass together, we hang out in TATU Cafe of Tanjung Aru Beach Hotel (Thanks to Marcel and Jacinta for the treat!!) and had our sharing sessions, brothers and sisters apart.

Indeed, God's promise is beautiful and far greater than what we expect Him to give us. Truly, this retreat brought me to a realization of how important is to wait patiently and seek Him fervently. The verse that Matthew written in his gospel... Matthew 6:33 Seek first the kingdom of God and its righteousness, and all will be given unto you... It is real, like how real it is to pinch ourselves and we feel the pain of the pinch. That's how real it is.

Thank and praise God for this opportunity to share all these on my blog. Thank and praise God for such a wonderful retreat! Thank and praise God for the mass and the homily that was said by Fr. Cosmas in St. Simon Church... I realized God's plan and timing truly is different from mine. And all I can do is to obey and wait patiently. I guess eventually everybody, except myself, Denis, Karen, Joanne, Jonathan Wee and their mom, attended mass in Stella Maris. Hehe!

Here are the pictorial descriptions of the retreat:

Entrance of Montfort Retreat Centre in Kinarut (Taken some days before as I didn't have the time to stop and take on the day itself...)

Our Chef, Aunty Theresa

Them at the swing (Denis, Ester, Karen, Mathida, Jacinta, Brenda)

Another shot of them... Umm... What are you guys doing, Denis? Hanging like monkey on the swing... Haha! Indeed, the tale of monkeys of MN came from you~~~

Jonathan Lee and Marcel nearby, chatting... I wonder what they talked about? Hehe! It's their secret... For them to know, for me to pray for them.

The statue of the patron saint of Montfort - St. Louis Marie de Montfort

Joanne, our games mistress giving explanation to the first game

Another shot of her! (Joanne, I couldn't decide which one is nicer, so I put both, coz I think both also equally nice!)

The member listened attentively!

The only SS photo I took this time... Background got Ray, Ah Boon and Jon

Denis: Kidz, make sure you all concentrate properly in discussion ahhh!! (Actually I have no idea what he was telling them... LOL!)

Lovely Mathilda about to be "blinded" with newspapers.

Self-explanatory! It's pay-back time!!!! Hahahahaha!!! Who asked him to design such a surprise for my birthday??? LOL!

Haha! Karen was trying to find where others were... She really couldn't see...

Mathilda grabbing the rafia string to pass to Ah Boon

Hehe! Another photo of them with me!

*smiles*

The Holy Family at Montfort hall... I didn't see a baby in the crib, you know why??? Because the Babe was in the arms of Mary!!!!!

After games, heading back for food~~

Queuing up for "fat rice" (nasi lemak)

Jon waiting for his turn with plate ready

Ray, smile! Click! Orait... continue whatever you are doing... :P Yummy food...

Denis finishing everything when everybody left...

Me with cucumber slices...

Preparation for steamboat dinner... My advisors, Jacinta and Joanne.

Tom yam soup base ready to be served. Yay!!!

Ah Boon, Ray and Jon found durians... There are several durian trees behind the Gabrielite brothers' house. And Bro. Francis said we could eat the durians we found I think...

Yeah... Dinner time...

I'm so happy the tom yam was popular~~

Everybody waiting for the food to cook in the pot~ I heard the word "hungry".

Yes, can eat already!!

Ah Boon... Help us to take please???

Oh! The durians that we found last night... Hopefully later dessert after lunch???

What they do before lunch???

Denis and Jon in conference room to teach and learn guitars...

Joanne transferring photos in Aunty Theresa's room

Ester and Mathilda napping in room...

Guys camwhoring in their room... Jon was the model, Ah Boon dressing him up and Ray taking photos... Umm... Hi-tech la, you guys!

Then Denis and Jon reading the Montfort newsletter in dining area...

So I took the chance to take photos with them... First with Joanne...

Then with Denis...

Next with Jon...

Finally with Brenda and Karen...

The guys started complaining their fingers were painful because of playing guitars...

Camwhoring with Joanne... Lovely shot~

Brenda doing sign language of her name

Jacinta made milo for Marcel~ Lovely couple~

Lunch time!!!

Jon said I had been taking photos but not being taken photo, thus this shot~

Jon Lee: Can I have the durian please?

Jon Wee: Aiyah! Just use your hand to press the skin, then the durian will buka!

Jacinta: I also want to try one~~

Our group photo... All from left to right - Front: Ray, Jacinta, Karen, Brenda; 1st row: Mathilda, Ester, Marcel, myself, Joanne, Jon Wee; 2nd row: Jon Lee; last row: Denis, Adrian Boon.

The sisters' sharing (Denis, the photo is blur la! Your hand shaking ka when taking the photo???)

The brothers' sharing

Alright, that's the end of my entry... Thank and praise God for this two-day retreat! I hope I could serve as a leader again when God calls me back to serving. As for now, all I want to do is to sit at the feet of Jesus to listen to Him and learn from Him.

Till the next entry, Pax et Bonum.