Happy 5th Anniversary in Heaven, Dad!

Source: http://a1.s6img.com/cdn/box_005/post_15/626250_5475478_lz.jpg

This was the psalm I read to my dad 5 years ago when we know it could be his last night on earth. This was the only bible passage one could find hanging in my family home. Yet, it is the same psalm being one of the bible passages which keeps me going after 5 years. The knowledge of his cancer diagnosis shattered me from within, accompanied by some weird allergy rashes daily for that 6 months of his battle with cancer. At that time, I could only let him go if it was his time, as much as I didn't want to. I know he would be in a better place. Nevertheless, grief and sorrow persisted within. Who would guess a person with such strong forefront like me would be heartbroken and in pain? Not even family members who hurled vulgar words at me would understand me I guess. With the strength from God, and the support from some very close friends of mine, I carried on with life.

My dad left us at 7 am, 26th August 2009. Life without him is never the same. He was that silent pillar of mine, shielding me and protecting me from many things which were only uncovered after he was gone. There are many things which I couldn't share publicly. But yeah.. I did love my dad, despite the heated arguments we used to have back home. I still do love him.

He was a multi-talented man: not just an English teacher, but also a swimming instructor, an artist, a chess master, a carpenter, a linguist, a counselor, a breadwinner. From him I received my gift of faith in Christ through his conversion to Catholicism when I was 6. I was baptised together with everyone else in my immediate family. He was a good man with an awfully soft and kind heart. He was my dad and I would always be his baby girl I guess.

A gift I appreciate from my dad was his selfless act of finally letting me go and accompanying it with his blessings when I asked if he'd allow me to go and further my studies when he was sick. It was just another random what-if chat I had with him. I used to have a long-time standing offer to do my MSc. whenever I wanted to from a research institute in Korea. He said he gave me his blessings even if I wanted to go. Of course, I didn't go immediately. I was teaching back then anyway. Though the decision I took to continue working in KK did cause me to know who were my real friends, and who were just thrash whom I discarded. It was a few months later that I lost him to stomach cancer.

Maybe everyone in my family would think I'm pompous and selfish to think this way... Yet, I am very certain my dad would be thrilled if he knew I got the scholarship to further my studies in Europe from Sept 2011 to Sept 2013, and now another funded opportunity to do my PhD here at Cambridge. I could imagine how excited he would be for my achievements. I could imagine how he would want to pick up Skype, email, Facebook, Whatsapp, etc., so that he could communicate with me even if I'm so far away, unlike my current situation now. My dad would be annoyingly persistent about visiting me in Europe for sure. This is only what I could imagine, and I have limited imaginations.

I know he's with Daddy God, praying for me. This brings comfort to me, knowing my dad is with God.

One of the last few photos I took with my dad, back in November 2007. It was nearing his birthday (might be on his birthday), so I bought him a very tiny cake. We already had a birthday dinner some days ago.
Photo courtesy of Victoria Ang, a great friend of mine since forever.

 So yeah...

Happy 5th Anniversary in heaven, late Mr. Augustine Chan Kiew Chai, my beloved dad! Till we meet in heaven, pray for us here on earth.

Perhentian Rendezvous

I'm back on my blog, I hope. With so much to do after two weeks of vacation, I'll try to blog as often as I can, if my brain is working well enough. Hehe! I'm still missing my short getaway in Perhentian. Arghh~~~ Maybe I'm addicted to the compressed air??? LOL! Anyway, photos speak louder than words on blog yeah?

My Perhentian Rendezvous wouldn't have happened if not because these two lovely friends of mine decided to tie the knot in the middle of school holidays... Hence my visit to Kota Bahru, Kelantan & Jerteh, Terengganu. On the way to the husband's house, I noticed a road sign written "Jeti ke Pulau Perhentian 10 km" and realized I was just a footstep away from one of the loveliest dive spots in Malaysia!!! So when "situation" occured and I didn't have a ticket to go back to Kluang, Johor... My mind spinned the idea of hiding there for a night to reflect upon life and all... And where should I go next?

The jetty in Kuala Besut, Terengganu, the "door" for my exit from mainland to island getaway! My adventure indeed!

There comes the boat! I was sooo worried it would be a tiny speed boat. Thank God it is a tuna! Nope, not a fish... Just TUNA Express!

Excited until cannot see my eyes! Haha! I felt a strong emotion as I looked at the deep blue sea... My passion in life. Oh my~~~

The Sweden siblings I met prior to the ride... The girl's name is Geraldine. Lovely gal, isn't she? I forgot the brother's name, I think he's Damien or Danion or Daniel. He has beautiful greyish eyes... *smiles* Shall email her tonight I guess...

Abang polis marin checking on us to ensure the boat only had 10 passengers. Strict rules apparently. My guess is to prevent IIs (Illegal Immigrants).

Geraldine has this cute hippo. Maybe I should get a hawksbill turtle doll and bring it around the next time I go travelling...

Lovely weather in Perhentian... I'm always on HIGH mode when I see the ocean... especially the DEEP BLUE one with the light blue clear sky...

That's where I stayed~~~ The room upstairs...

Nice eh?

Lovely sea...

The trail I found...

is the trail I followed...

Made me want to sing... "I'm so amazed by You, Lord!!!"

Getting nervous for refresher SCUBA. Totally OUT of knowledge when it comes to that... Hehe!

Nice! Outside Panorama Cafe~

Long Beach and its umbrellas....

Fizzy and I... Somehow the chord strikes at the right position when we first met... We sort of have similar thinkings somehow~

Strange fruits on the tree above where we sat!

The Divers at Turtle Bay

Sophia and me... Lovely gal~

Beach ppl, sea lover!

Me n me n me alone~

My dimpled-cheek instructor of the day - Jono.

I wonder what were those guys doing??? -_- Never mind, I'll sit and wait...

Nice sky eh...

My escorts.

Imagine I actually tracked the hill? (Only the shadowy part, mind you...)

From that part with some buildings...

Time of reflection after the sun sets in Perhentian... With fruits and 100 plus. Realize life is not just about one thing. It is about living it to the fullest possibilities. And thank You Lord for all.

Contented look after seeing Tripod, the three-legged turtle when diving at the Pinnacle (Tokong Laut) in the morning... And lots of fishes... but definitely the turtle made me day brighter~~

Ahh... My dive buddy that morning - David.

Divemaster cum darlie toothpaste upcoming model - Yaakub!

Ok, I'm impressed.

Sophia again... Lovely gal~

Hmm... I wished I actually got to know him... But yeah, anybody help me to identify his name pls?!

There are sharks, beware! I saw one in the Pinnacle too! *winks*

Another shot with Yaakub before I left...

Me after Tom Yam soup and rice. Recharged.

Lord God, thank You so much for such a wonderful trip to Perhentian Island, and the diving and the underwater world and the people I met there. Many are becoming friends. People who love the sea can't be bad people. I pray You'll continue guiding me to discover deeper Your calling for me and to bring more joy to the people around me. Lord God, You know I have my imperfections and weaknesses, may these be used to magnify more of You and less of me. I finally know that my anchor of happiness is You. No matter how much fears I have in me, You can dispel all. No matter how much loneliness I feel at times, the knowledge that You love me is enough to keep me through. Boredom can set it easily, but I know You are never boring. Thank You for showering me with friends when I traveled alone. All the way from the jetty to the island to the dive centre back to the chalet and to Kuala Besut when I missed my last bus. Thank You for giving me good people who cared genuinely and sincerely without ulterior motives. Lord Jesus, please bless the lives of those who have touched my life in Your loving and gentle ways. And may they come to know You again one day and their lives be filled with genuine happiness. Thank You for the safe journey, especially the part when I was in the middle of a secondary jungle getting lost... and all that happened because everything happens for a reason and I thank You for making things possible for me. And all these I pray through Jesus who loves us more than anything. Amen!!!

P/S: Sorry, Joanne, lambat upload... met with Justine, another friend I met in Perhentian, and ended up chatting for a while.

Love Phobia (도마뱀)

I watched a korean movie just now on an online movie website, which I think is a beautiful love story and I'd like to share with you all some of the images I searched online. It reminded me of a korean guy who had created some beautiful memories with me some years back. There wasn't anything between us, and now we've lost contact totally, yet, the memories of this guy was pure and untainted. You can read some info on the movie by clicking at the link to IMDb --> Domabaem (2006).

P/S: I know I probably will never get to contact this korean guy again in my life, but I thank God for giving me this part of my life, because it was truly a beautiful memory that brings smiles to my face everytime I remember him. I know he doesn't know of my blog, but I'd still like to take this opportunity to thank him for the memories he had given me, plus the two korean books he gave me as a farewell gift.

호근오빠,고마워!

The Age of Movie Days

There was a period of time since 2007 to 2008 where watching movies was like going shopping for me. There was a friend, my constant companion for more than 365 days, who would be crazy enough to watch movies with me. All genre I'd say, unless it was a super-bad reviewed movie, we'd go for the movies for sure. I'd say my favourites were "Ratatouille" and "The Game Plan"... I remember watching "Blacksheep" somewhere last year, a movie on bioterrorism and genetic mutation and weird sheeps being vampire-ish. It was sort of a scary movie for me, I think I had lots of sound effects also. Somehow I sort of regretted not watching "Evan Almighty" instead... But God had a greater plan than just movies for me about "Evan Almighty"... But of course, "Blacksheep" is much better than "Quarantine" as there was an ending to the story, with the promise of a sequel (which I might not watch it if I were to go alone~~~)

Okay... What was the gist is this... I met some new friends right after the movie that day... My friend's friend and his girlfriend. Surprisingly the gf and me sort of struck a chord together and kept in touch up to this point... Ok, what's the other point? Few days ago she sent me this sms (guessing chinese characters making a sentence) which I couldn't decipher. After figuring out for a day plus, I gave in and asked her for answers... Well, sms went after sms... So she mentioned about watching movie together when we are free since we hadn't been watching any movie together since June if not mistaken... My friend, myself, her boyfriend and herself. Names were mentioned specifically! Haha! Great... At a point... I was a bit stuck as I didn't really know how to reply... I could only answer the typical "See how la when I get back" sort of answer knowing that chances are we probably wouldn't watch movies together until further notice. What a fib I am!! Sorry, gal... Too many things happened recently... If only you knew, but I don't you would... LOL! Sad tale, but I believe more happy tales will come for us soon~~~ Readers dearie... Pray for us! (those who know what story I have now and those who don't know...)

Now I can only ask God to provide me with the strength to carry on today... Another long and interesting day later~~ Can't wait to go to the beach with my colleagues~~ Yaya!!! I want good lunch also with Mirina... Hahahahaha!

Counting down... 28.5 hours to Inner Healing journey...

Lidz/Jim's Wedding 081108

Ok, FINALLY... Photos update of Lidz/Jim's wedding reception... Sorry I don't have the morning session ones because I forgot to bring my digicam... Hehe!!!

Before the dinner starts... Von Teo (head of ushers) and me... Hehe!! ^__^

A quick snap with the newly wedded - Lidz and Jim...

OMG! Lidz looked so tiny next to Jim~~ Hehe!

My signature SS pose during dinner...

Another SS pose... I love it~~

With mommy wong (Dot Wong's mom)

The gals of my table~~

The MC of the night

Showing off our manicured nails... Umm... Can't really see but Lidz looked gorgeous with her red dinner gown and matching nails... You should have seen the life version...

A photo of the Altos of SHC English Christmas Choir (Christine, Gloria and me)

Me with Lidz's flower bouquet...

Upclose of her bouquet... Look at the pearls~~ (Can you see???)

May God bless Jim and Lidz in the new life of marriage.
Amen!