Then I stumbled upon a blog as I keyed in the phrase "social+awkwardness+define" in Google, and I find myself in awe of how many people in the world face this problem of social awkwardness. I have to admit that I am at many times "socially unacceptable" and face the problem of "social awkwardness" although I seem to be friendly, easy-going, all smiling and nice. Being socially awkward at times, I tend to react abnormally, comparing to other normal human beings. In fact, there's a word used to describe nerd... Geek. I probably am a geek at a level of humanity. LOL!
Today, I faced a situation which I became socially awkward and probably made a few new enemies. I was totally imprudent and rude and impolite and socially unacceptable. When I realized what I did was totally unacceptable to the norm of the society, it was way too late to salvage the situation, except a deepest regret and sincere apology. I was known to be a "faked person", a "hypocrite" to some people, no matter how true I was at that moment to the other person. So many times in life, I have a few friends, who care enough and remain patient despite abnormal outbursts of emotions. Thank God for that! Having said so, it didn't change the one fact - that I am still loved by God who created me to be me. Some of us might think I'm just deluding myself into believing that in a tiny part of the world, somebody still want to befriend me, but I truly believe and feel that God loves me enough to see pass this imprudent me and see the tiny little hope that I'm worth of His love for me.
I don't know what's going to happen to my life after this incident with my colleagues, but I know that God knows and He's my Comforter in the midst of loss and darkness. After all, the bible says that Jesus came not for the righteous but for the sinners (refer Matthew 8:13). This verse allows me this assurance that God still loves me though I've done such a thing so unacceptable socially.
Suddenly I thought of people who are socially unacceptable, who are shunned by many, sometimes including me, because what the person says or does cause people to feel annoyed, irritated and becomes irrational with thinking. I am one of them, but why am I doing things that people do unto me? It reminds me of Felix who serves with his wife in the young adults ministry I'm in... His humility is at this level that he receives and welcomes everybody in the ministry, even the "marginalized" because of their social awkwardness. Because of both him and his wife, I felt comforted when I was placed in a situation where I could no longer hang out or talk properly with the group of people I used to be with. Thanks a lot! Will I be able to emulate this humility which is being passed down to Christ? Will you?
"Can any of you by worrying add a single house to your span of life?"
~ Matthew 6:27 ~
~ Matthew 6:27 ~
