Christmas Is Near!!!

It's been eon years since I posted anything on the blog. My apologies for those who had been checking it. Please don't give up on me! I'm just going through some quieter times of my life online. Probably offline there were dramas. As usual. My life without dramas won't be Cindy's life, frankly speaking.

I'm currently back in my hometown, leisurely hanging around doing nothing. I've been back from UK for almost 7 weeks now... So another 6 weeks and I shall be back to embark into a new chapter in Cambridge. Exciting and worrying at times. I guess all is set, now it's time to start wondering what to do with myself :)

First step, physical clearance. I sent back boxes of stuffs from my room in Kota Kinabalu, Sabah, some two years ago before I left to Europe to start my masters. Now I'm done with my masters, and shall start my PhD soon, the boxes of stuffs (and junks) are still sealed. Obviously, the junks too.. Let's see what magic I can whip out through this weekend.

Currently I'm writing from a nice independent cafe with a cheesy name, Cheese U, in Kluang, Johor. A sneak peak of Si Putih and my cuppa macchiato in the cafe.

Blessed first week of Advent! May the Hope of God be with you always!

Blessed 3rd Sunday of Advent

Yes, I am smiling genuinely. I don't know if it's due to the McD effect or because I finally found a young adult prayer group here. Though some speak very little English and the prayers are generally in Spanish, but it's a young adult group!! My 3rd family... Last night I attended for the first time the gathering, and this photo was taken as the post-prayer gathering makan-makan session. Haha. McD!!! The first mcD after Gibraltarian McD with my Malaysian delegates to YAI.

Last night, the priest spoke about constancy in prayer life. I have to admit it's not easy to be consistent in prayers... The whole praying daily thingy... I really salute a friend - Joanna Chai - for the constancy she had shown as an example during my uni days. I really miss my friend, but we have lost contact since... two years ago, and her email address is no longer working. I really hope to know what had happened to her since our last email contact early 2010.

Hope God will provide a way for us to contact again.

Blessed Advent. Joyous Sunday.

Happy 2nd Sunday of Advent 2011

Blessed 2nd Sunday of Advent! I haven't written much these days - been a bit occupied with negative thoughts due to the coldness I face in where I am living. How I wish we're using normal room heater rather than central heating!!! I have to bear for another 3 months and LIBRE!!!! Yes, all these pent-up emotions have found their ways to kill my joy of awaiting Christ's coming this Christmas. So today, I want to prepare the way for the Lord to enter into my life once again. Even when it is tough, but my Jesus is tougher than the enemy.

So, my friends, let us prepare for Christmas together, even if it means we have to move mountains and cross oceans to clear the path to our hearts for Christ.

Yes, the TRUTH (JESUS) PREVAILS.

Feast of Christ the King

Today marks the final Sunday before Advent, which means in less 40 days we'll be celebrating the coming of this King who came down to earth to gather all His sheep in the form of a little Babe. Am I prepared? Are YOU prepared? Personally, I have to admit that I am not prepared to receive Him for my stable is empty and dirty. What about yours? 

Spring cleaning ought to have started when I started with my new chapter of life. But I procrastinated as always. Though I said I started a new chapter in life, but I brought along with me a heavy baggage - emotional baggage - which I should have worked out before I left Malaysia. For the past three months in Europe, I struggled with 101 things, the first of all struggles is being Christian. Many-a-times I was and am tempted to not go for mass for the fear of being teased as religious. People questioned me, "Why are you so conscious about what others think about you?" and I'm dumbfounded. I do care and and I wish I care not of what others think.

Many had expressed that I am weird, strange, awkward etc. All these brought hurt to my inner child, who wants justice to be done and impartiality in the world. The yearnings I have for an impartial and just world sometimes hurt me. Oh, I am being too ideal! That makes me weird. Being overly friendly makes others uncomfortable being around me. Respecting people with knowledge and enjoying my time spent with them causing me to be labeled as strange. What is the best option for me then?

Today, the feast of the King, my Savior Jesus, and I still commit a sin against the temple of the Holy Spirit, in my thoughts, in my mind, in what I've done, in what I've failed to do... And how is it that I should await joyously for the coming of my King? Yet, I know that every single thing I do, every single mistake I've done, God knows and all I need to do is to repent and return to His embrace. And He will embrace me tightly, telling me I'm loved no matter how much I have grieved Him.

This year is the first year after my renewal in 2006 that I am not taking part in serving the mass nor caroling. The separation I felt from my community drives me to tears so often as Christmas draws nearer. I know this is not from God that I should feel this intense loneliness, and it is self-seeking that I should feel this way. This year's theme is The Light of the World, and knowing that His Word is a light unto my path, I shall walk with certainty in this bleak world. One day, I will know the reason beyond this separation, and rejoice that I have pulled through this dark time.

Till then, I will have to hold on to the hope that He is my Shepherd and there is nothing I shall want (c.f. Psalm 23:1).

64 Days to Christmas

There are 64 days to Christmas and I am still struggling with everything in the world. I lose sight of my original vision and frankly speaking, sometimes I wonder if what I am doing right now is really what I am called to do. I came with a certainty that this is where God is calling me to be, but Europe is large enough to question myself, "Where exactly in Europe?" The place I want to be might not be the place I'm called to be. Only God knows. Sometimes I feel like the cross on my shoulders is heavy and there's a temptation to leave the cross and walk off into the world... But these few days the readings have been about mission in life, about perseverance. It was the feast day of St. Luke the Apostle some days ago, and I was reminded by the story that Luke stayed with Paul when everyone else fled. And it's almost a reminder for me to hang in there. More an encouragement than a reminder I'd say... I'm hopeful for the next two semesters, in Lisbon then in Lincoln. The thought of attending English Sunday masses keeps me going for now, though I'd like to gain enough knowledge in Spanish language to be able to understand a little bit of what the parish priest of Iglesia San Salvador y Santo Domingo is saying weekly during masses and before Adoremus. It's a pity because I know he's saying something really beautiful to God's people in church...

The biggest question these days is "Am I ready to receive Baby Jesus when He comes on Christmas?"

Well, are you ready?

Lord, we thank you for having died on the cross for us.Most fortunate is the person who walks by the way of Calvary, following Jesus our redeemer, for if we suffer with Christ now, we shall reign with Christ in the glory of the Father.Those who suffer tribulations, suffering, persecutions, and are despised for the love of God are helping Jesus Christ carry his cross. If they persevere, they will be partakers of his glory in heaven.Let us be glad when we are afflicted and the cross is most heavy on our shoulders, because then if we suffer with the patience of Christ we will begin to be his disciples.

- St. Paul of the Cross -

MV Doulos, MV Logos Hope...

I was invited on FB to attend an Empowered Ministry session by the MV Logos Hope team. Wow. So fast it has been two years. The last time I went to a ship bookstore was when MV Doulos went to Kota Kinabalu. In fact, I was honoured to have gone to MV Doulos four times: once in 2007 with my best friend, thrice in 2009. One time I went with the students, second time I went with Irene and the final time was to visit Olga, one of missionaries I got to know. It was a wonderful experience of visiting the ship. I can't imagine the loss I would feel the next time MV Logos Hope visits KK. According to the upcoming ports timetable, she will dock in KK after her visit to Kuching. Haha.. I miss the times when I bought so many books in Doulos. How I missed those times...

Christmas is coming, and Sacred Heart Cathedral English Choir and Friends are preparing for Christmas cantata and mass. How I wish I am there with them... I know I am replaceable, but in my heart, the times I spent with the group will never be replaced no matter how far I go. As we prepare to advance into a new year when Advent, it's time for me to prepare my heart to await for the new born King. Like the three kings from the east who seek and found the King in the form of a little babe in the manger, I want to seek and find God in my life no matter how tough it is right now....

What a Wonderful Christmas!

Photo log is the easiest when it comes to explanation of what happened. I had a great Christmas celebration, though not with 101 friends in a huge Christmas party. But with true friends for sure!

After Christmas mass, taken with Chris and Golo - the Altos.

With Evelina, my student. Her sister, Adelina, is in the choir...

With the brothers, Lionel and Charles. I hope I got his name correct..

My anak Vania... So cute right, she?

Another shot with her. I only get to see her twice a year, during Christmas and Easter, when she comes with her uncle. But I enjoyed every single minute spent with her, though it is short. Hehe! Wish I could spend more time with her, but well... I'm not close to her real family... Wait till she grows up to be a lovely young lady... Oh my... then I will be a real Aunty Cindy eh~ Haha!

Cheryl Chan and Cindy Chan. Hehe.. I think we can pass off as sisters, don't you think so?

Ahah! Kor kor Adrian and me... The bass/baritone in Choir.

Joanna siao mei mei and me! Hehe!

With Mrs. Wong, Ian, and future fadoo Joshua (lama lagi but it is a hope). Hehe!!

Von Teo and me after mass...

Conz and me after mass! Love her yellow dress!

Bishop asked us to reflect on the birth of baby Jesus as the beginning of our salvation. This is the real gift of Christmas. May Christmas begins not only in the crib but deep inside our hearts.

My another anak - Ian Sebastian, and his two front teeth.

While opening present... Ian and mommy - Josephine.

Nice potrait of the year!

With my twin, Irene, in friend's house.

It was a deep reflection time during this Christmas. To have come to where I am now, there were struggles and difficult decisions to be made. I survived, thanks to the Lord who is always there to comfort me. These struggles still exist in my life and there will be more and more difficult decisions to be made as I journey along into year 2010. It will be challenging year ahead, but I know it is also a good year for transformation and changes. And I do hope that showers of blessings will be upon me, if God wills it. Bishop urged us during Christmas eve mass to ask God to cleanse our hearts to be the temple of the Holy Spirit. Then again, on Christmas day, he encouraged us who have received the Light, who is Jesus, to be the light to the world who is dead and in darkness. This is an urgent task, but also a role of all Christians.

I pray that you who are reading here will be the light to the world and radiate the love of God in all that you do. I also pray the person whom I'm waiting to come back is safe and sound while doing whatever the person has to do at the moment.

May God be the centre of your life, now and forever. Amen!

Blessed Christmas to all my blog readers and friends!
May joy, love, hope and peace be always with you!

God bless you!

Love in Christ,
Cindy aka SuMmeR_Ra|n

Chris Tomlin - Emmanuel (Hallowed Manger Ground)

I'd like to take this opportunity to wish all my blog readers a Blessed and Wonderful Christmas! May the birth of Jesus be a brand new start of our journey on earth and a renewal of our hearts. Let us get prepared for the coming of our Messiah as we approach Christmas Day. Let us make this decision to invite Jesus into our hearts once again on Christmas. Let it be a time of joyful praises and worship to our God, the Saviour and King of our hearts!

12 Days of Christmas

On the 1st day of Christmas my true love gave to me...

A Partridge in a Pear Tree
The partridge in a pear tree is Jesus the Christ, the Son of God, whose birthday we celebrate on December 25, the first day of Christmas. In the song, Christ is symbolically presented as a mother partridge that feigns injury to decoy predators from her helpless nestlings, recalling the expression of Christ's sadness over the fate of Jerusalem: "Jerusalem! Jerusalem! How often would I have sheltered you under my wings, as a hen does her chicks, but you would not have it so . . . ." (Luke 13:34)

On the 2nd day of Christmas my true love gave to me...

Two Turtle Doves
The Old and New Testaments, which together bear witness to God's self-revelation in history and the creation of a people to tell the Story of God to the world.

On the 3rd day of Christmas my true love gave to me...

Three French Hens
The Three Theological Virtues: 1) Faith, 2) Hope, and 3) Love (1 Corinthians 13:13)

On the 4th day of Christmas my true love gave to me...

Four Calling Birds
The Four Gospels: 1) Matthew, 2) Mark, 3) Luke, and 4) John, which proclaim the Good News of God's reconciliation of the world to Himself in Jesus Christ.

On the 5th day of Christmas my true love gave to me...

Five Gold Rings
The first Five Books of the Old Testament, known as the Torah or the Pentateuch: 1) Genesis, 2) Exodus, 3) Leviticus, 4) Numbers, and 5) Deuteronomy, which gives the history of humanity's sinful failure and God's response of grace in the creation of a people to be a light to the world.

On the 6th day of Christmas my true love gave to me...

Six Geese A-laying
The six days of creation that confesses God as Creator and Sustainer of the world (Genesis 1).

On the 7th day of Christmas my true love gave to me...

Seven Swans A-swimming
The seven gifts of the Holy Spirit: 1) prophecy, 2) ministry, 3) teaching, 4) exhortation, 5) giving, 6) leading, and 7) compassion (Romans 12:6-8; cf. 1 Corinthians 12:8-11)

On the 8th day of Christmas my true love gave to me...

Eight Maids A-milking
The eight Beatitudes: 1) Blessed are the poor in spirit, 2) those who mourn, 3) the meek, 4) those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, 5) the merciful, 6) the pure in heart, 7) the peacemakers, 8) those who are persecuted for righteousness' sake. (Matthew 5:3-10)

On the 9th day of Christmas my true love gave to me...

Nine Ladies Dancing
The nine Fruit of the Holy Spirit: 1) love, 2) joy, 3) peace, 4) patience, 5) kindness,
6) generosity, 7) faithfulness, 8) gentleness, and 9) self-control. (Galatians 5:22)

On the 10th day of Christmas my true love gave to me...

Ten Lords A-leaping
The ten commandments: 1) You shall have no other gods before me; 2) Do not make an idol; 3) Do not take God's name in vain; 4) Remember the Sabbath Day; 5) Honor your father and mother; 6) Do not murder; 7) Do not commit adultery; 8) Do not steal; 9) Do not bear false witness; 10) Do not covet. (Exodus 20:1-17)

On the 11th day of Christmas my true love gave to me...

Eleven Pipers Piping
The eleven Faithful Apostles: 1) Simon Peter, 2) Andrew, 3) James, 4) John, 5) Philip, 6) Bartholomew, 7) Matthew, 8) Thomas, 9) James bar Alphaeus, 10) Simon the Zealot, 11) Judas bar James. (Luke 6:14-16). The list does not include the twelfth disciple, Judas Iscariot who betrayed Jesus to the religious leaders and the Romans.

On the 12th day of Christmas my true love gave to me...

Twelve Drummers Drumming
The twelve points of doctrine in the Apostles' Creed: 1) I believe in God, the Father almighty, creator of heaven and earth. 2) I believe in Jesus Christ, his only Son, our Lord. 3) He was conceived by the power of the Holy Spirit and born of the virgin Mary. 4) He suffered under Pontius Pilate, was crucified, died, and was buried. He descended into hell [the grave]. 5) On the third day he rose again. He ascended into heaven, and is seated at the right hand of the Father. 6) He will come again to judge the living and the dead. 7) I believe in the Holy Spirit, 8) the holy catholic Church, 9) the communion of saints, 10) the forgiveness of sins, 11) the resurrection of the body, 12) and life everlasting.

Epiphany

(Click on the picture to read more on 12 days of Christmas by Dennis Bratcher)

Christmas 2008

I bet you guys had seen the photos on Christmas Eve... Now it's all about what happened after that night... LOL!

This year was an unexpected Christmas Day, despite the fact I couldn't really remember what happened after Christmas mass last year, including where I was or who I was with. It's a short-term memory loss I guess. Perhaps that memory was somewhat important to me, enough to hurt me because of its importance. So I guess until the time comes for me to remember what happened during Christmas 2007, let me focus on Christmas 2008...

So what did I do? Nothing much, in fact... I served with others in choir for Christmas morning mass, attended "The Father's Love Letter" by SIB Skyline in Sutera Harbour, was at home to watch a few episodes of "1L of Tears", went out with Felix, Yvonne Teo + sister, Valerie and Brenda to Archbishop John Lee's residence, visited Chris' family's open house in Lok Kawi, went over for dinner at Gloria's house, came home and continued watching the jap drama. Looking back... Quite a lot also eh???!

The next day was 26th December... Slept in late because watch drama until quite "early" in the morning... Then went over to Joanne's house to have lunch (thanks, Joanne, for the lunch!!!) and after that went to Giant in City Mall with Joanne and Jonathan to purchase stuffs for our CG retreat. I'll blog about CG retreat after this... Hopefully! After sending all the food stuffs to Denis' house, I went to collect my "wo tie" (fried dumpling) at Lotus and headed to Joanna's house in Tanjung Aru for our Christmas Choir's Christmas Party. Lots of lovely, delicious, colourful food, and the gifts exchange, not forgetting the video watching. It was fun, laughed a lot, crapped fairly. Hehe!

Now for the pictorial description... All the way from Christmas Day to 26th Dec... Hehe!!!

After Christmas mass with my anakku sayang, Cheryl, Joanna, Koko Adrian and Joshua

Another take with them...

The Wongs and future Mrs. Wong (Gloria) :P

With my students in Magellan... From left: Shaun, Dominic, Gee, Andrew

Another photo with them... Geezzz... I do miss my students at one point...

With Aunty Cynthia (Denis' Mom) near Archbishop's Residence

The statue of Mary in front of the house

Gloria and Fred with the piglet's head... Taking photo was Adik (Gloria's brother)

And Fred says, "This is yummy!!"

On 26th, taking photos as people started coming in...

Joanna and Dot giving pressie to Joshua

Hanging around before food...

Yes! Finally after grace... Yay!!!

Singing carols for Joanna's family

Another take...

And another take... all these taken by Timmy, my future Bio student (I hope...)

Adriance, the Tenor

Conchiz, Mag n Tity

Singing Birthday song for Tity (Her birthday was on 27th~ Happy Birthday!!!)

My anakku sayang and me... after Christmas exchange...

The new addition to my bear family - Pinky Wawa and Koko Adrian... Umm... Koko!!! How can you feed Pinky with liquor??!~~ >:P

Ahh... Finally, my bear and I... Pink and pink!!

The gift is from Goloria Chiew baobao... Hehehe!! Jan marah, ya, golo~

My gift went to Cecilia~~ LOL! So ngam dis!!

The Altos after watching the choir video... Muka mengantuk dis~~

Rachel and myself at Joanna's christmas tree

Alright... that's the end of the entry!! Hope you had fun knowing my days!! Hehehehehe!!! God bless all, Merry Christmas!!!