Quality Time Management

This is my third month as a PhD student and I'm still struggling with time management. Living 30-40 minutes walk away from the department didn't help, nor in a room with dim warm white light instead of the norm of cold white light back in Malaysia. However, all hope is not lost, and I've been slowly deleting worries in my life to narrow down to the only priority of focusing on my PhD.

Since the change of time to British summer time, I've had hard time trying to wake up early. The earliest I could drag myself off the bed and not be groggy was an average of 10 am, and naturally I can only fall asleep at an average of 2.30 am. Today a success of waking up half an hour earlier than yesterday. A small step to my target of waking up at 8 am. Oh well... student life versus sleep = battle of the day!

This week the aim is to create quality time schedule. An hour or so of morning reading to gain knowledge of this vast but new field. A few hours at the department in the afternoon for to pick up computer skills. An hour or so in the evening for my literature review. The ultimate goal is by June I can start the real work for the project.

I was too anxious earlier on to start but having no skills is absolutely useless to be in that condition. Been there, done that. Though it seems to move relatively slowly, it doesn't mean I'm not progressing. I should learn by now to be gentler with myself. Being harsh and hard on myself doesn't really work. Maybe to some people, it does. This is for me. I'm sure you guys out there would also have your own formulae to complete your projects.

Anyway, this is just me, a first year PhD kid at Cambridge writing about the struggles.

Doraemon and the Time Machine

I'm doing some reading online when I suddenly remember Doraemon and time machine, as in the real Doraemon story. I never really knew the origin of the cartoon which has accompanied me for years during childhood and adolescent years. I guess it's never too late to find out about him...

Idiomatic translation to English:

(From right to left)

Nobita: Whoa!

Doraemon: It's me…did I surprise you?

Nobita: Wh…wh…who are you? Where did you come from? Why did you…? H…h…how did you…?

Doraemon: Don't ask so many questions at once! But that's all right. I've come to save you from a horrible fate.

All the information is courtesy of Wikipedia - Doraemon First Appearance.

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I guess I'd prefer not to mention my friend as Doraemon again after knowing more of the ending of Doraemon. Hahaha! ^_______^

It's Time... Timely... Timeless...

Time. Whenever I think of this word, I think of endless "busyness" that kept us from being love. We often say, "I have no time" and "I'm busy at the moment". How much time a day have you stopped, reflected, and perhaps just breathed in the air to experience life? A busy life kept us from thinking, probably helped us from facing some difficult moments in certain areas of our lives. But are we living at present time? Are we living in God's time for us? Do we have time for Him? Even if it means sacrificing five minutes from whatever things we do?

Timely. Sometimes we say, "Oh, the promotion was timely". Sometimes we exclaimed, "How timely you come!" When is the right moment that is "timely" for you to meet God? Have you ever pondered whether God has been exclaiming the same thing over and over again whenever we meet Him in prayers, "Oh great! How timely you've started talking to Me! I've always been waiting!!"

Timeless. Sometimes we hear that what-and-what is absolutely timeless. For me, the only relationship on earth that is timeless is my relationship with Jesus. He stays faithful for eternity. What does that mean? His faithfulness is timeless. No matter how long it takes for us to turn from where we are to face Him, finally, He remains there, waiting for us with open arms. And what is that all about? That His love for us lasts for eternity, and it's timeless.

So, what I can do is to link these three words into a sentence -- It's a timely time to have a timeless relationship with a loving God who is waiting for us to return Home to His embrace.

Have a blessed Sunday. God bless and good night, my dear readers.

The Pursuit of Happyness is No Busyness!!

HAPPYNESS vs. BUSYNESS!!

I know it has been a while since I posted an entry... Thanks to CY for reminder! Umm... blame it on heavy workloads all the sudden since Monday. Probably the meeting we had on Monday (in fact it was a one-day course) on PeKA Bio SPM is causing additional stress to an already weakened immune system. I'm currently having muscle aches especially on my shoulders, neck, down the spine and even parts of my abdoment and joints. It is either I'm developing early signs of arthritis or I'm totally stressed out. (I think the latter sounds more relevant though...) Hadn't been sleeping well at night, or shall I say I had been sleeping way passed 1 am since Sunday until now? Thus the "Cindy's like a dead log" syndrome is coming up fast. Sigh! Life eh?

I have sooooooo much to share but I'm currently writing up something which requires two of my brains to work in tune, but apparently after not writing scientific stuffs for almost three years by now, my brain is "crooked". Dang! Trying to understand where was the technical and scientific me while another part of my brain is trying to work out on the PEKA thingy.. This is generally known as multitasking and it doesn't help with focusing at all!! Hmm... According to the latest schedule, the SPM PeKA Head of District Assessor (Ketua Pentaksir Kawasan) will be checking our BIO PeKA in the 3rd week of July, which is 2.5 weeks from now. Well, sad to mention but it is true anyhow that this Bio teacher forgotten that it was June already when she flew off for her school holidays. So now, both teacher and my beloved students would have to work hard together to defend the integrity of school! Kids, sorry!!!

Hence, my toppest priority now is to ensure all my piling up as high as mountain sort of workload is diminished before I can commit to anything else. But my daily dosage of Jesus, the Healer, through Eucharist is still on, every Mon to Fri, 6.30 pm, St. Simon's prayer room. I guess that's practically the only thing I can commit until further notice.

*YAWN* I'm so sleepy. Better finish off with my writeup before it gets a bit too drowsy and blank for my two brains to think harmoniously. Oh craps! Just a little bit more...

I like what Joanne posted on her blog today, especially these two quotes (Joanne, pinjam ah!):

Tomorrow is the only day in the year that appeals to a lazy man.
~ Jimmy Lyons ~

Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.
~ Jules Renard ~

Probably because they are so me!! Yeah, sometimes laziness gets a bit out of hand with myself. Hmm... thus I need more of self-control (check out Galatians 5:22-23 on the fruits of the Holy Spirit)!

P/S: I want to watch the Pursuit of Happyness again. Anyone has the downloaded movie? Please contact me.

Pax et bonum.

I'm Forever Yours - Planet Shakers

This is one of my most loved P&W song... I couldn't find the vidz for this song, so I only can ctrl-c the lyrics for your view... It's a lovely song, and what struck me today was "Trusting You and not myself will always lead to blessing"... His way is not my way, but His way is always the best way. Many times we failed to see the "blessing in disguise" because whatever tough times we're in could bring us to a point of blindness. Of course, when the right time comes, He will reveal the blessings, only if we harden not our hearts and we listen to His voice! :)

I'M FOREVER YOURS (PLANET SHAKERS)
I give my all to You
Send me and I will go for You
To the ends of the earth
I'll follow after You
I want the world to know
Your love endures forever

Tell me and I'll obey
This is far greater than sacrifice
Trusting You and not myself
Will always lead to blessing
Lord have Your way in me
Not my will, Yours be done

Here I stand within Your presence
Longing for Your touch
A thousand days cannot compare
To one day in Your courts

Hold me now
And never ever let me go
My Jesus, my precious Saviour
I'm forever Yours

I will worship You forever
I will worship You

What is Wrong Timing?

I'd say that "wrong timing" is when another person thinks he/she is at the position to conclude and make believe that it is THE right timing to do something which was conventional yet unacceptable at that particular time frame by which doing that thing will cause more wreckage rather than bandage.

I've just experienced a super wrong timing scenario last night. I guess everything starts from zero again, including renewal of the decision I've made on 18 November 2008. I hope I won't need to stop Friendster as well... If required, I will do it. Even blogging too if that helps me.

I know God is with me in this. He has been with me through all the dumps in my life. This one is just a slightly larger pothole for Him, but together we'll go through it. That's the promise He has made to me, to us all. And in response I will say, "The Lord is my shepherd, there is nothing I shall want." All because I know, Jesus the Good Shepherd, is breaking my legs so that He can carry me over His shoulders when He found me stuck somewhere in the rocky ground. Though it hurts, but it is for me own good. God will never forsake His sheep. Don't you ever tell me that you don't think God is with me.

To whom it may concern:
I guess my decision stays until further notice. There is no point informing me through third party that you are willing to receive and welcome anybody when you were the one who chose to run away in the first place and shift your heart elsewhere. And there is no point that the third party being so patronizing, expressing your thoughts to me. The third party is only creating more chaos in an already chaotic scenario.

A Pleasant Surprise

Today I went out to meet a friend for a drink. She is one of the most pleasant ladies you'd ever meet, always so smiley, so hugable, so friendly, so real. A few weeks back, she told me she was praying about going to India for a period of time. Her heart's desire. God heard her loud and clear, and praise God, He gave her green light to take off. Blessings poured upon her desire, her righteous one I'd say, and today, she broke the news that she's flying off on 1st November. The day right after my birthday...

In fact, this news came as a pleasant surprise for me, though I know this day would come that her desire be granted. Thank God for His blessings upon her. I had mixed feelings for a while... A part of me being so happy for her, a part of me feels sad because my friend is leaving and only God knows when she will be coming back. But I thank God for giving me the chance to know her, to share with her my sorrows, and for such a wonderful angel He has created in her. When I'm experiencing disappointing and dejecting situation, she had been there, lending me a shoulder to cry on, exhorting me and consoling me, and often offers me Watson's pocket tissue (the so-called softest tissue you can find in the market, good for wiping off tears...). She taught me how to love myself and accept myself better.

Like what is the title of my blog, time flees, love stays. I know our friendship doesn't end just as she flies off, but it will be there always.

Dot, thanks a lot for everything. Have a safe and wonderful and eventful journey to India! God bless and be with you always. Love you lots! ^___________^

When Love Runs Out

When love runs out, where do we go?

Finding another jetty to anchor ourselves?

Or seeking God for another bowl of love?

When patience runs out for a person, where do we go?

Looking for another individual who is more pleasant to be with?

Or seeking God for grace to continue loving the person?

When strength to love the person runs out, where do we go?

Hiding behind a portrait of irritation and anguish for the person?

Or asking God for the strength to truly forgive and love the person again?

When the heart is weary, do we anchor ourselves on yet another quiet cheery individual?

Or do you choose to leave everything and take up the cross of weariness?

Why choose to hurt when we can love?

Why choose to be hurtful when we can be loving?

Why choose to end when all can be started afresh?

Why choose to anchor ourselves on yet another human's affection instead of God Himself?

I'm learning to anchor on God, how about you?

Are we still anchoring on the hope that the human's affection and in quietness will bring you to another season of hopes and dreams coming true?

Are we being foolish to think that if we desire it, God will grant it, as long as we think it is righteous?

Why do we hurt ourselves with all these endless hopes?

Why do we hurt others because of our own anguish and hurts?

Why do we change our hearts when we feel threatened?

Why do we need such a God if we want to control our own lives and live it the way we want it?

I'm learning to let Him govern my life, how about you?

Are you still struggling to find and maintain hope and affection in yet another individual?

Are you still struggling with your pride that you will never fail anybody?

Are you still struggling with your human nature?

I'm struggling too, but I know by the faith, hope and love of God, I want and desire to turn my eyes to God once again.

When God's love runs out from my own heart, I choose to let you be taken care by God.

Because I know, it is by His love that I come to know you as a companion.

And it is by His grace we had wonderful memories in the past.

And it will be by His love our hearts will be mended and healed.

And it is definitely by His strength and His inspiration I'm writing all these.

God is greater than any living creature, and I'm just another living creature.

He knows you and loves you much more than I do.

I am assured He will bring you back.

I am assured He is in this with us.

Don't falter, don't waver, don't give in to temptations.

Don't sigh, don't stress, don't be anguished with things that are happening.

God is love when our human love runs out.

And I know, we are all seekers of this love.

And I pray you are well taken care by God via His angels.

When love runs out, I will be your love -- this is His promise to us.

And us, we are just mere human beings, you and I, we can only count on God when we find ourselves seemingly busy seeking for love at all the wrong places.

And us, we being just mere humans, we can only believe and walk in faith in the misty path.

For God is with us.

And God is love.

Somewhere over the rainbow, there is hope, because there is God.

Time Flees, Love Stays

1 Corinthians 13:13

But now remains
faith, hope and love,

these three;

but the greatest of these is love.

As I was preparing myself to re-emerge like a butterfly from a cocoon, I was thinking hard how to start up the first entry. Will I make a mess once again? Or will I fly high enough to soar like an eagle. Oh! Another thought in the rainy season of a humid tropical country girl!

Then I realized the need of setting up a new blog - to convey thoughts, mind, knowledge, emotions, decisions, and most important of all - to spread the seeds of love to all who read. And then I found in the midst of my massive web of thoughts - this verse - one of my favorite - 1 Corithians 13:13. Out of the three - faith, hope and love - love abides.

As time passes, emotions pass by. As time flees, all may change. Yet one thing that doesn't change - love - in its own special way. One of the greatest love story that had ever been produced - the love story of God to mankind. And because of this love, we live. There is this song that I remember singing a great worship song that bears these words:

"Because of His great LOVE, He gave His only Son,
everything was done, so you would come..."

That is the greatest love story ever written in the whole wide world... AND how much have we come to understand this great love??? 10%? 20%? Each of us has a ruler in our heart, and who exactly is our ruler? For once, I can proclaim that I want the greatest lover of all to be the ruler - God Himself. A verse in the bible states that God Himself is LOVE...

Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.
(1 John 4:8 NIV)

Just for the sake of those who think what I said is unrealistic, how many a times when we realize our human relationship turns sour and in a state where nothing can revive it? As for my previous relationships with people - M-a-n-y. How did we ever go through all these? M-a-n-y ways. Alcoholism. Clubbing. Degradation of flesh/body. Drug abuse. Depression. Deceit. Demotivation. Dejection. Death. The gentlest of all - plunging into certain areas of life and starting becoming a -olic (e.g. alcoholic, shopaholic, workaholic) or crying. But it doesn't really help though - only made the eyes smaller than ever because they got so swollen that we couldn't see properly. Oh well!!! :) We can always say, "I'm mere human..." but this was so vague and unrealistic! How do I know who loves me? You will know when you don't close your heart like a fist and pretending you have offer everything you have to the God who is the great I AM.

I will share more of everything if God permits me with time, but now it is time for me to focus back to my work. A decision made, and I pray God grants me patience. :)

By profession, I'm just another mere employee of an organization which conducts education to some group of human race.

By love, I become a philosopher who has 101 things to share.

By grace, I have the ability to make a difference in the life I am living now.

By hope, I proclaim that, "I have been crucified with Christ, and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and delivered Himself up for me." (Galatians 2:19-20)

Till then, adios!