If only I could, I would move mountains and seas to stop something from degrading.
If only I could, I would do whatever I can to wash away all the hurts we all face.
If only I could, I would delete all those humans that caused all these to happen to us.
If only I could, I would erase all the memories that made us cry.
If only I could, I would...
But I couldn't, so I wouldn't be able to...
Thus I can only feel thousands of knives stabbing at the same wound again and again...
Just like a striking force to my heart, strong and hard.
I, finally, got it... In return to what I did to you.
Sometimes I can't breathe...
Sometimes I can't hope...
Sometimes I think God is so far away and hiding His face from me.
When only will He show Himself again?
When only all these will end???
Saturday, 25 October 2008
Sunday, 19 October 2008
Saturday, 18 October 2008
It is 2.46am, Sunday, 19 October 2008
Yeah... I know, I'm supposed to be snoozing instead of blogging... I have piles of papers to correct. I'm getting the marking-paper-anxiety-disorder again. Hahahaha! I had Ice Blended Black Forest of Coffee Bean with lots of choc chips and whipped cream. I guess that's what kept me awake? Gee... Looking at the condition of "over-charged by adrenaline" excretory system of mine, I think it'll be a very very long time until I take another time of that favourite drink of mine! :( My digestion system is screaming "No-way I'm going to digest that heck lot of caffeine again in my territory! It is causing system down and my babies (cells) to suffocate in silence!!!" and my excretory system is yelling, "For gracious sake, please don't cause my babies (cells) to suffer the impossibility of absorbing water!!"
Ok... It's 3.03 am... This means I was in the washroom long enough to finish reading an article in Readers' Digest, plus the column of "As Kids See It" as well as some ads. Alright, I think I have to really reconsider coffee as my final food intake... I've been binging the whole day in fact - on fats, etc. Ya... ya... Ya... I know it is NOT GOOD... I just wanted to compensate for the days I didn't really eat... OKOKOK, I know a healthy diet is good for my stomach and prevention of gastristis...
Let's see what I had: a breakfast of kon lau mee tikus, lunch of McD, Easyway's Pearl Milky Tea, fried kueh tiau, ice blended black forest with choc chips. That's A LOT!
I'm repenting... Yes, I do... My stomach seems to be calling me for another roadtrip to release tension... I shall ber-tahan until I can't... This will be the 5th time I return to the same location~ No good, no good, no good... I hope it is not a case of bad cockles... Or Paralytic Shellfish Poisoning... Oh well, haven't heard of any HAB bloom around KK waters recently... So they should be safe for consumption...
^^|| I need home-cooked food by mothers... Anybody willing to supply me with some? Hahaha!
Alright, signing off at 3.13 am of the same day.
P/S: Joanne... my comment box also a bit cold these days...
(Comment box: "Psst...It's freezing in here!")
Ok... It's 3.03 am... This means I was in the washroom long enough to finish reading an article in Readers' Digest, plus the column of "As Kids See It" as well as some ads. Alright, I think I have to really reconsider coffee as my final food intake... I've been binging the whole day in fact - on fats, etc. Ya... ya... Ya... I know it is NOT GOOD... I just wanted to compensate for the days I didn't really eat... OKOKOK, I know a healthy diet is good for my stomach and prevention of gastristis...
Let's see what I had: a breakfast of kon lau mee tikus, lunch of McD, Easyway's Pearl Milky Tea, fried kueh tiau, ice blended black forest with choc chips. That's A LOT!
I'm repenting... Yes, I do... My stomach seems to be calling me for another roadtrip to release tension... I shall ber-tahan until I can't... This will be the 5th time I return to the same location~ No good, no good, no good... I hope it is not a case of bad cockles... Or Paralytic Shellfish Poisoning... Oh well, haven't heard of any HAB bloom around KK waters recently... So they should be safe for consumption...
^^|| I need home-cooked food by mothers... Anybody willing to supply me with some? Hahaha!
Alright, signing off at 3.13 am of the same day.
P/S: Joanne... my comment box also a bit cold these days...
(Comment box: "Psst...It's freezing in here!")
Friday, 10 October 2008
30 Days of Night
I remember this movie I watched with friends - 30 Days of Night - about how vampires roaming around, jumping on rooftop, attacking people, burning down town during the one month of darkness when the sun wouldn't show its face onto the North Pole. And how this group of people defended themselves and their town.
What brings back this memory is that I never truly get scared of horror movies, but this movie sort of sunk into my memory. A smile was on my face as I remembered how my friend tried to scare me on the way to Kinarut at night saying that those vampires would jump onto my car, forcing their way into my car etc. At that moment, I really freaked out coz my car windows were opened slightly to let the cold air in, even though I also knew that the vampires from 30 Days of Night DON'T exist in Malaysia!! LOL! It was just a freaky joke at night as we drove all the way from KK to Kinarut on a dark, winding road up the hill to our destination.
How lame was the joke which made me smile whenever I think of this fond memory!
What brings back this memory is that I never truly get scared of horror movies, but this movie sort of sunk into my memory. A smile was on my face as I remembered how my friend tried to scare me on the way to Kinarut at night saying that those vampires would jump onto my car, forcing their way into my car etc. At that moment, I really freaked out coz my car windows were opened slightly to let the cold air in, even though I also knew that the vampires from 30 Days of Night DON'T exist in Malaysia!! LOL! It was just a freaky joke at night as we drove all the way from KK to Kinarut on a dark, winding road up the hill to our destination.
How lame was the joke which made me smile whenever I think of this fond memory!
Tuesday, 7 October 2008
A Pleasant Surprise
Today I went out to meet a friend for a drink. She is one of the most pleasant ladies you'd ever meet, always so smiley, so hugable, so friendly, so real. A few weeks back, she told me she was praying about going to India for a period of time. Her heart's desire. God heard her loud and clear, and praise God, He gave her green light to take off. Blessings poured upon her desire, her righteous one I'd say, and today, she broke the news that she's flying off on 1st November. The day right after my birthday...
In fact, this news came as a pleasant surprise for me, though I know this day would come that her desire be granted. Thank God for His blessings upon her. I had mixed feelings for a while... A part of me being so happy for her, a part of me feels sad because my friend is leaving and only God knows when she will be coming back. But I thank God for giving me the chance to know her, to share with her my sorrows, and for such a wonderful angel He has created in her. When I'm experiencing disappointing and dejecting situation, she had been there, lending me a shoulder to cry on, exhorting me and consoling me, and often offers me Watson's pocket tissue (the so-called softest tissue you can find in the market, good for wiping off tears...). She taught me how to love myself and accept myself better.
Like what is the title of my blog, time flees, love stays. I know our friendship doesn't end just as she flies off, but it will be there always.
Dot, thanks a lot for everything. Have a safe and wonderful and eventful journey to India! God bless and be with you always. Love you lots! ^___________^
In fact, this news came as a pleasant surprise for me, though I know this day would come that her desire be granted. Thank God for His blessings upon her. I had mixed feelings for a while... A part of me being so happy for her, a part of me feels sad because my friend is leaving and only God knows when she will be coming back. But I thank God for giving me the chance to know her, to share with her my sorrows, and for such a wonderful angel He has created in her. When I'm experiencing disappointing and dejecting situation, she had been there, lending me a shoulder to cry on, exhorting me and consoling me, and often offers me Watson's pocket tissue (the so-called softest tissue you can find in the market, good for wiping off tears...). She taught me how to love myself and accept myself better.
Like what is the title of my blog, time flees, love stays. I know our friendship doesn't end just as she flies off, but it will be there always.
Dot, thanks a lot for everything. Have a safe and wonderful and eventful journey to India! God bless and be with you always. Love you lots! ^___________^
Monday, 6 October 2008
When Love Runs Out
When love runs out, where do we go?
Finding another jetty to anchor ourselves?
Or seeking God for another bowl of love?
When patience runs out for a person, where do we go?
Looking for another individual who is more pleasant to be with?
Or seeking God for grace to continue loving the person?
When strength to love the person runs out, where do we go?
Hiding behind a portrait of irritation and anguish for the person?
Or asking God for the strength to truly forgive and love the person again?
When the heart is weary, do we anchor ourselves on yet another quiet cheery individual?
Or do you choose to leave everything and take up the cross of weariness?
Why choose to hurt when we can love?
Why choose to be hurtful when we can be loving?
Why choose to end when all can be started afresh?
Why choose to anchor ourselves on yet another human's affection instead of God Himself?
I'm learning to anchor on God, how about you?
Are we still anchoring on the hope that the human's affection and in quietness will bring you to another season of hopes and dreams coming true?
Are we being foolish to think that if we desire it, God will grant it, as long as we think it is righteous?
Why do we hurt ourselves with all these endless hopes?
Why do we hurt others because of our own anguish and hurts?
Why do we change our hearts when we feel threatened?
Why do we need such a God if we want to control our own lives and live it the way we want it?
I'm learning to let Him govern my life, how about you?
Are you still struggling to find and maintain hope and affection in yet another individual?
Are you still struggling with your pride that you will never fail anybody?
Are you still struggling with your human nature?
I'm struggling too, but I know by the faith, hope and love of God, I want and desire to turn my eyes to God once again.
When God's love runs out from my own heart, I choose to let you be taken care by God.
Because I know, it is by His love that I come to know you as a companion.
And it is by His grace we had wonderful memories in the past.
And it will be by His love our hearts will be mended and healed.
And it is definitely by His strength and His inspiration I'm writing all these.
God is greater than any living creature, and I'm just another living creature.
He knows you and loves you much more than I do.
I am assured He will bring you back.
I am assured He is in this with us.
Don't falter, don't waver, don't give in to temptations.
Don't sigh, don't stress, don't be anguished with things that are happening.
God is love when our human love runs out.
And I know, we are all seekers of this love.
And I pray you are well taken care by God via His angels.
When love runs out, I will be your love -- this is His promise to us.
And us, we are just mere human beings, you and I, we can only count on God when we find ourselves seemingly busy seeking for love at all the wrong places.
And us, we being just mere humans, we can only believe and walk in faith in the misty path.
For God is with us.
And God is love.
Somewhere over the rainbow, there is hope, because there is God.
Finding another jetty to anchor ourselves?
Or seeking God for another bowl of love?
When patience runs out for a person, where do we go?
Looking for another individual who is more pleasant to be with?
Or seeking God for grace to continue loving the person?
When strength to love the person runs out, where do we go?
Hiding behind a portrait of irritation and anguish for the person?
Or asking God for the strength to truly forgive and love the person again?
When the heart is weary, do we anchor ourselves on yet another quiet cheery individual?
Or do you choose to leave everything and take up the cross of weariness?
Why choose to hurt when we can love?
Why choose to be hurtful when we can be loving?
Why choose to end when all can be started afresh?
Why choose to anchor ourselves on yet another human's affection instead of God Himself?
I'm learning to anchor on God, how about you?
Are we still anchoring on the hope that the human's affection and in quietness will bring you to another season of hopes and dreams coming true?
Are we being foolish to think that if we desire it, God will grant it, as long as we think it is righteous?
Why do we hurt ourselves with all these endless hopes?
Why do we hurt others because of our own anguish and hurts?
Why do we change our hearts when we feel threatened?
Why do we need such a God if we want to control our own lives and live it the way we want it?
I'm learning to let Him govern my life, how about you?
Are you still struggling to find and maintain hope and affection in yet another individual?
Are you still struggling with your pride that you will never fail anybody?
Are you still struggling with your human nature?
I'm struggling too, but I know by the faith, hope and love of God, I want and desire to turn my eyes to God once again.
When God's love runs out from my own heart, I choose to let you be taken care by God.
Because I know, it is by His love that I come to know you as a companion.
And it is by His grace we had wonderful memories in the past.
And it will be by His love our hearts will be mended and healed.
And it is definitely by His strength and His inspiration I'm writing all these.
God is greater than any living creature, and I'm just another living creature.
He knows you and loves you much more than I do.
I am assured He will bring you back.
I am assured He is in this with us.
Don't falter, don't waver, don't give in to temptations.
Don't sigh, don't stress, don't be anguished with things that are happening.
God is love when our human love runs out.
And I know, we are all seekers of this love.
And I pray you are well taken care by God via His angels.
When love runs out, I will be your love -- this is His promise to us.
And us, we are just mere human beings, you and I, we can only count on God when we find ourselves seemingly busy seeking for love at all the wrong places.
And us, we being just mere humans, we can only believe and walk in faith in the misty path.
For God is with us.
And God is love.
Somewhere over the rainbow, there is hope, because there is God.
Sunday, 5 October 2008
Sacred Space
God calls us to various place. Today, I'd like to share this webpage known as Sacred Space with you who read what I posted. It is a daily prayer online and the reflection is superb.
I'm going through very tough times these days and I request you who read my entries to pray with me that I will be strengthened by God who lives and reigns in my life no matter under what circumstances. I know all is worth the sorrow and pain I'm going through because He is made visible in this part of my life. The loss I'm encountering is just for this moment. I still hope this loss is just a part of a bigger joy in future. And I pray God will grant my desire in His time.
To learn to love Him is like a baby learning to crawl, walk and talk. To learn to be loved by Him is even tougher. I'd say it is like a mother deciding to carry the baby in her womb to term.
I'm going through very tough times these days and I request you who read my entries to pray with me that I will be strengthened by God who lives and reigns in my life no matter under what circumstances. I know all is worth the sorrow and pain I'm going through because He is made visible in this part of my life. The loss I'm encountering is just for this moment. I still hope this loss is just a part of a bigger joy in future. And I pray God will grant my desire in His time.
To learn to love Him is like a baby learning to crawl, walk and talk. To learn to be loved by Him is even tougher. I'd say it is like a mother deciding to carry the baby in her womb to term.
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