Hollow Man

Is this person showing love or asking for love?
Is it a full heart or an empty heart?
How do we know if our heart is empty and hollow, or full of love?
Are we hollow men or loving men?

Jesus is never hollow, He's always full of love...
Filled with compassion and moved with the movement of the Holy Spirit...

Are you?
Am I?
Should we?

Yes, we should.

Why?

Because the day we chose to be the Soldiers of Christ, it is our way of life.

Amen to the God who saves!
Amen to the Christ who died and resurrected for us!
Amen to the Holy Spirit who resides in our hearts!
Amen to all who believe!

God Bless.

Pax et Bonum.

The Return of the Prodigal Son

This is what I'm currently reading... I first encountered the articles from this book in another book which I love... The Dance of Life... It's a series of articles from Henri Nouwen.

I'm sure most of you know about the bible passage on The Prodigal Son (Luke 15: 11-32). Yups, the whole book practically speaks about different perspectives of the parable that Jesus gave us... The younger son, the elder son and the father. I'm starting on the younger son today... ^^

So now I'm at the comfort of reading it... There's a part of the prologue to the book which I'd like to share with you all here...

These years at Daybreak have not been easy. There has been much inner struggle, and there has been mental, emotional, and spiritual pain. Nothing, absolutely nothing, had about it the quality of having arrived. However, the move from Harvard to L'Arche proved to be but one little step from bystander to participant, from judge to repentant sinner, from teacher about love to being loved as the beloved. I really did not have an inkling how deeply rooted my resistance was and how agonizing it would be to "come to my senses", fall on my knees, and let my tears flow freely. I did not realize how hard it would be to become truly part of the great event that Rembrandt's painting portrays.

Each little step toward the centre seemed like an impossible demand, a demand requiring me to let go one more time from wanting to be in control, to give up one more time the desire to predict life, to die one more time to the fear of not knowing where it all will lead, and to surrender one more time to a love that knows no limits. And still, I knew that I would never be able to live the great commandment to love without allowing myself to be loved without conditions or prerequisites. The journey from teaching about love to allowing myself to be loved proved much longer than I realized.

This part is one beautiful part of this book I'm reading. I'm sure I'll discover more in time to come as I continue reading. I'll update you guys if I encounter any parts suitable to be shared publicly.

Till then... Pax et Bonum.

Taken from the book "Just Like Jesus" by Max Lucado

The fisherman fixes his eyes on the boat. The girl fixes her eyes on the boy. The disciple fixes his eyes on the Savior.

That's what Matthew did. Matthew, if you remember, was converted at work. According to his resume, he was a revenue consultant for the government. According to his neighbors, he was a crook. He kept a tax booth and a hand extended at the street corner. That's where he was the day he saw Jesus. "Follow me," the Master said, and Matthew did. And in the very next verse we find Jesus sitting at Matthew's dining room table. "Jesus was having dinner at Matthew's house" (Matt. 9:10).

A curbside conversion couldn't satisfy his heart, so Matthew took Jesus home. Something happens over a dinner table that doesn't happen over an office desk. Take off the tie, heat up the grill, break out the sodas, and spend the evening with the suspender of the stars. "You know, Jesus, forgive me for asking but I've always wanted to know..."

Again, through the giving of the invitation is impressive, the acceptance is more so. Didn't matter to Jesus that Matthew was a thief. Didn't matter to Jesus that Matthew had built a split-level house with the proceeds of extortion. What did matter was that Matthew wanted to know Jesus, and since God "reward those who truly want to find him" (Heb. 11:6), Matthew was rewarded with the presence of Christ in his home.

10 Nov 2008 20:03 KFC Opposite Cathay Cinema

Almost 24 hours after knowing the truth that had been bothering me for the past three months, I'm in a total solitude with the Lord. What has lost will never come back to me, at least not for now. How long the suffering had been when I didn't know the truth! Though it still stabbed my heart and practically numbed my nervous system, I found back that part of me which went missing three months ago. For once again, I'm in awe of God's grace upon me. Once again, I see God's hands cupping my face, touching me who longed for that physical touch, breathing so near to me, telling me... "You are healed. Now go in peace." Though I still feel that immense loss, my First Love, my Ardent Lover, embraces me tightly, wanting to tell me how much He loves me. I know this suffering will join with His suffering, and at the break of dawn, hope will resurface. And I will be whole again.

I know this inability to sleep in the middle of the night for the past two nights is just short-term effect. I experienced that earlier when I was very sick with flu, cough, fever. Even with two types of medication which caused drowsiness, I would be wide awake in the middle of the night coughing my lungs out trying to breathe and cry and cough at the same time. This time, no cough, no flu, no fever. I just can't sleep. Perhaps I'm too scared to sleep, knowing that there will be a chance I might forget the surge of God's love flooding my empty heart. I don't want to forget, but every morning I woke up with such a void in it. Or maybe, my brain is figuring out how can I stand up again after this betrayal, this strange lie people told right into my face. Christ did, so I have to, even I'm so weak. Christ forgave Judas... Every day ever since July 2008, this strength to carry on is not mine, but His. If it were to be mine, I would have long gone down to hell. Thank God for Christ the strength and refuge for my soul.

If Only I could, I would

If only I could, I would move mountains and seas to stop something from degrading.

If only I could, I would do whatever I can to wash away all the hurts we all face.

If only I could, I would delete all those humans that caused all these to happen to us.

If only I could, I would erase all the memories that made us cry.

If only I could, I would...

But I couldn't, so I wouldn't be able to...

Thus I can only feel thousands of knives stabbing at the same wound again and again...

Just like a striking force to my heart, strong and hard.

I, finally, got it... In return to what I did to you.

Sometimes I can't breathe...

Sometimes I can't hope...

Sometimes I think God is so far away and hiding His face from me.

When only will He show Himself again?

When only all these will end???