Attack? LOL!

I wasn't attacked. I was just disturbed by an email that somebody sent out of the sudden. Lord, have mercy on me for my moment of flaring up and evilness lurked in the air one moment ago. Rest assure, no reply will be sent out, no response (except for this entry) will be given, no question will be asked. Nothing. Enough is enough. I stand firm on God's promise on patient endurance a.k.a. perseverance on the issue I'm facing now.

Just another reminder, my beloved readers... I no longer check my FaceBook until further notice. If any disturbance on Friendster is sensed, I'll immediately pull myself out and stop updating on FS as well. If MSN/YM or any of my emails is being disturbed, I'll do the same to them by all means too.

Current updates will either be on this blog or on MSN/YM/email...

Good night, Malaysians who love to sleep during rainy season.

November 20, 2008, 11:37 PM

For the sake of Joanne, here's my part of ramblings~ I'm running out of titles for my blog entries... Maybe I should run a competition about blog entry titles???

JUST LIKE JESUS

Ok... Let's see... I finally finished reading "Just Like Jesus" by Max Lucado. It's a brilliantly-written book, with study guide at the back (which I haven't done it because I realized it only after 5 chapters away from the first). Oh well, it's giving me additional reasons why I SHOULD RE-READ the book AGAIN! Of course, for my spiritual health reason too~ You know what, my dear readers, I bought this book without knowing whether it was good or bad, because I saw the front cover and was attracted to it when I first stepped into Salvation Bookstore. Whenever I shared with others that I'm currently reading this book, I remember somebody told me she read the book... Two years ago... Haha! I never knew I was so out-dated~~ It's alright, I know God doesn't think of me that way. *Brushing off that thought now*

This IS a good book, good for my spiritual growth, I'd say... Now, every step that I'm taking, I just want to know Jesus, I just want to re-learn this process of loving relationship with Him.

Readers/Commentators Formation (Part II)
Tonight was the practical part. Fr. Cosmas gave a lengthy explanation on many things that I often wanted to know and ask, but many people couldn't answer me if I ask, thus I ended up not asking anymore. I couldn't explain in details here because I don't have the note with me. I'd say I really learned a lot from this two-day formation. Hopefully the Lifeline leaders who attended the formation will share what they had experienced to the others.

Invigilating
LOL! Two days of invigilating... Two days of berbuka puasa with others... FYI, buka puasa is my direct translation of "breakfast"! Haha! Well... Today we ate in the same shop opposite Kedai Kopi Tenom... *sob* Second attempt to eat the very-the-sedap ngiu chap but still unable to do so. The whole coffee shop was closed today!!! :( So I made myself very happy by drinking the Teh-C special with cincau again, together with food and crapping with Simon, Dot Wong, Bian and Harold Boo... Very happy and slept very well when I had a long afternoon nap. I know, it will make me fat, who cares?!

ETC
I'm attending a walk-in interview with some friends tomorrow morning. Exact details I don't think it is good to post it on such a public space for the time being. But just for the experience of it. If I get it, I praise God, if I don't, I thank God for what I have now. Just pray for me as I kinda attracted with the stuffs I saw online just now. It's at 10am. Thanks, my beloved readers.

Time to rest now. Good nite and God Bless!

10 Nov 2008 20:03 KFC Opposite Cathay Cinema

Almost 24 hours after knowing the truth that had been bothering me for the past three months, I'm in a total solitude with the Lord. What has lost will never come back to me, at least not for now. How long the suffering had been when I didn't know the truth! Though it still stabbed my heart and practically numbed my nervous system, I found back that part of me which went missing three months ago. For once again, I'm in awe of God's grace upon me. Once again, I see God's hands cupping my face, touching me who longed for that physical touch, breathing so near to me, telling me... "You are healed. Now go in peace." Though I still feel that immense loss, my First Love, my Ardent Lover, embraces me tightly, wanting to tell me how much He loves me. I know this suffering will join with His suffering, and at the break of dawn, hope will resurface. And I will be whole again.

I know this inability to sleep in the middle of the night for the past two nights is just short-term effect. I experienced that earlier when I was very sick with flu, cough, fever. Even with two types of medication which caused drowsiness, I would be wide awake in the middle of the night coughing my lungs out trying to breathe and cry and cough at the same time. This time, no cough, no flu, no fever. I just can't sleep. Perhaps I'm too scared to sleep, knowing that there will be a chance I might forget the surge of God's love flooding my empty heart. I don't want to forget, but every morning I woke up with such a void in it. Or maybe, my brain is figuring out how can I stand up again after this betrayal, this strange lie people told right into my face. Christ did, so I have to, even I'm so weak. Christ forgave Judas... Every day ever since July 2008, this strength to carry on is not mine, but His. If it were to be mine, I would have long gone down to hell. Thank God for Christ the strength and refuge for my soul.

Sleep

After switching my job from a marketing executive to a secondary school educator, one of the biggest issue (also a challenge) is about sleep. I had troubles with waking up and sleeping at the right time, causing other issues. In fact, it is like a cascading domino effect... When a person is in stress and fatigue conditions all the time, that individual will be facing problem to have enough time to rest, and this constant condition causes lower productivity and performance level! Oh! How terrible the domino effect is!!

I've got a verse by which I'm relying upon to wake up each day... Let me share with you who read... I hope it helps those who are also facing difficulty in waking up for their work/studies...

Proverbs 20:13

"Do not love sleep, or else you will come to poverty;
open your eyes and you will have plenty of bread."