MorningI was in Tshung Tsin to invigilate LCCI exam. Met Miker, one of my dance class classmates. Haha! I never knew he is studying there until today. LOL! Then after the exam, I met another friend of mine... Annie Voo, a teacher in Tshung Tsin now... OMG! I actually got to know her three years ago in St. Simon's Church just because she was sitting next to me and that particular Sunday the commentator actually made us say "Hi" and introduced ourselves to the person sitting next to us. So that's how we met... And now, she's married with a son who is already 7 months old.
AfternoonHad lunch in one of my favourite shop with Simon and also my colleague Wilson. We went for ngiu chap in Damai, sadly... We didn't get to eat it. I guess we would have to go there early morning or with the right individual to get that very-the-sedap ngiu chap which I've been missing since July -_- But the asam laksa and the ever-so-sedap Teh-C special with cincau (recommended by some1 over two years ago) made me contented. Period. The conversation was great... It was about Simon's experience as a guest DJ in VFM. Haha! I'm thinking of trying that out... *Crossing my fingers here for the right timing...*
After lunch I was suddenly inspired to pay UMS a visit. A sudden i'm-missing-my-life-long-ago wisp. So I called a friend of mine and told her I was coming over. Dropped by at BRI and said Hi to vidarita (gosh, I never realize how much I was missing everyone!!!) and then down to Biotech Research Lab to say Hi to some seniors and junior. Then I drove all the way to Pasca office to have a chat with my beloved Dr. Zaleha, ever so bubbly and cute. Gosh! She's just so nice and wise to be my beloved lecturer. How I'm missing Ms. Teoh here also... T.T Currently Ms. Teoh is in UK for her PhD studies... What Dr. Zaleha really inspired me this afternoon as I shared with her my thought of furthering studies in future was this: "Think of what you really want before you make any decision." There is a hole which requires soil to fill in, and I know that soil is God's love. Then only I can think about furthering studies or anything else...
EveningWent to evening mass in St. Simon's. It is one of my favourite time of the day now. Somehow, it becomes a highlight of my day... How it ends would be the mass itself. Maybe some might say I'm a fib, faking it out, what-so-ever... This is how I feel tonight... And I just want to write out loud. The more I know about the mass celebration, the more significant I feel everytime I receive the Eucharist... The communion with Christ. That feeling of sealing an agreement. That feeling of leaning on Him when all things fail. His death of the cross just because of me, a sinner?! Some people might think "ppoohhh! you think you are worth that much for the Saviour to die for you meh? dun be so stupid la... you are the worst person i've ever seen!" At this moment, yeah, I do believe Christ died for me out of love and I believe if I want (and yes, I am wanting this moment with Him), I will be healed when I call out loud for Him to save me. Well, Jesus saved Peter when he got distracted by the wind as he walked on water towards Jesus, didn't He? Though He scolded Peter as "man of little faith", He didn't leave him to sink and be consumed by the water and who-knows-what-kind of fish in it. I had a vision after communion just now... Sorry but I can't share with you all now... Later on la...
Rewind a bit... Noves parked her car by my side, but I didn't see her, so as I turned to unlock my car door, I saw a figure standing next to me and I was like "whoah~ who's that?!" look (I hope not). We went for mass and subsequently a dinner (thanks Noves, I always like to have companions for dinner) before returning to church for readers/commentators formation by Fr. Cosmas.
NightAnd of course... I was late by few minutes (the most, I hope), because the food was late. LOL! Ok, fine, an excuse. A truthful one though. The whole session was great... God speaks, we respond by saying Yes, God speaks, we say Hi to Him as Jesus speaks, then we respond again by saying the Nicene Creed. Interesting. Then sealing our agreement by the Eucharist. Then as children of God, we ask via Prayer of the Faithful and then get His blessing through the priest and go forth to spread His love. Ok, please add for me, you readers who attended to session, if I miss out anything.
One thing that really amused me was how the Word can be "slaughtered" during mass. Yeah, no kidding... As we mumble our way without knowing the context of it nor understanding of the Word nor living it out ourselves... We "murdered" the Word. When we read with charism, we can move the world to Christianity perhaps... (My interpretation without any notes...) Please take note my audio skill is so bad that I normally have a hard time trying to recall what the discussion was about.
Near MidnightHere I am blogging about my eventful day. So filled with emotions. So thankful that God allows me the chance to see so much more than I see. I even get to catch up with my coursemate, whom I'll intimately refer her as Lai. Gosh... Only God knows how long connection was being cut off... Only the Lord knows what we had been going through then and now. May God be in the midst of our lives and friendship ^_________^
Now I've something to tell someone... Kinda emo, and perhaps causing certain scrutiny of skeptical people of who I'm refering to. I plead to you all, readers, please don't speculate. Just continue praying that I can solve my jigsaw puzzle in life now. Let God be my judge, let God be our Formator. He knows what's my heart's desires best. God still knows me best...
To whom it may concerned (name withheld to preserve anonymosity):I'm sorry if me being oblivious to your presence in front of me hurts you.It hurts me as much as it does to anybody else for me to ignore you completely.To pretend I don't see you when I feel your presence there without even looking at your face.I'm not angry with you.I don't hate you for saying all that you said to me though it hurt me much.
I hope you don't hate me too.
God knows how much I cried after hearing what you said, after reading what you said.I just need to remain focused on what I should focus on now.
We both need this time of silence and solitude with the Lord alone.When time comes, I still hope and believe we'll be more understanding and patient towards each other.When time comes, God's glory will be restored and we'll reconcile.I believe in God's plan for us.I still believe in God who believes in us so much that God gave His only begotten Son to die for us.The Mystery. His Love.
Good night everybody. Time to rest.
God bless!
P/S: My verse today is Revelation 4:11 "You are worthy, our Lord and God, to receive glory and honour and power, for you created all things, and by your will they existed and were created."
P.P/S: I'll share about my short trip to Karambunai tomorrow if my line is ok in the afternoon.
The Christmas Choir (First row from left: Mae, Marianna, Mig, Adelina, Suzi, Con, Rachel, Cecilia, Jo, Cheryl; Second row from left: Melissa, Nic, Terrence, Adriance, Jason, Dominic Luk; Third row from left: Charles, Koko Adrian, Chris, Golo; Last row on the bench from left: Bian, Harold, Fred (choir master), Dot n me)
