I Fell, What About You?

Many people said "I failed" and never succeed in climbing out of the failure. How many of us will say "I fell" and stand up again?

Since the Fall of Adam and Eve, men have been conquered by sins. Well, perhaps, "conquer" isn't the exact word to be used, as we know, shortly after that (we have to look into the eternity in God's time), God sent His Son, Jesus, to redeem us from sins and to break the Fall. He (Jesus) is the new Adam. Agree?

So, why then, do we still fall? Simple explanation is devil is still lurking around, grappling at any opportunity he gets to make us stumble and fall. Worse still, we are giving him chances by not giving up all to Him who comes to save us, and died for us when we're still sinners.

I have to admit that I fall, all the times, and I feel bad about it. Confession in Sacred Heart Cathedral, KK is in this week. Time to prepare myself to face the music, and receive His abundant mercy and grace.

Like what Archbishop John Lee said, prayer, fasting and penance are important as preparation for Holy Week. I'm lacking, I finally realize it, and I have to work on it. How about you?

You can fall a million times, but if you're willing to stand up and return to God, all in heavens rejoice for your homecoming.

God bless!

Life is Beautiful

As I'm reflecting and waiting for the time to drive to church for penitential service and confession, I suddenly remembered what my friend had commented back in August about my view of life after knowing me for four days...

He said that I packaged everything beautifully. Though he meant to say I'm being unrealistic, I saw it and still see it as an affirmation. Life can be both ugly and beautiful. I'm merely trying to be more positive in all the negative things in my life. I have to remember that my temper and emotions are colourful, meaning I have 101 emotions and sometimes I lose the patience of controlling them. When I see things in a more positive angle, though too ideal at times, I'm a happier me. Why not, then?

Life is cruel, but with God, all things become more beautiful. In this season of joyful celebration, we got to realize the cruel-but-filled-with-enormous-love fact that Jesus was born some 2000 years ago to redeem us from sins, and He still does, in year 2009.

Just now as I checked my Facebook, there was a message from a Canadian who has just come to KK as a diving instructor. Being new and looking for friends, somehow I was asked to be a friend - well, it was a "total disaster" for him, I think! He got uncomfortable chatting with me when it comes to God as the center of the topic. In other people's eyes, I'm too "religious" and hard to communicate. In other words, being "stuck up". Perhaps this Canadian guy was looking for a fling with some local girl, that is why it was very uncomfortable to talk about the Creator. It is easy that we profess that we're Christians, but our way of life is no way near to being Christ-like. How many of us here can feel it? I can. I'm no angel, nor am I religious. I'm a sinner, like you guys out there. What made him so uncomfortable with me, then? Because I took the courage to share about God to him. When we're striving to be Christ-like, we're called to be His witnesses. Nope, God never promises us that it will be easy to be Christians, but He promises us that He will be with us as we speak of Him.

I have my fun side, I have my knowledgeable side. It is just a matter of whether one chooses to see me as who they want to see me as. I am blessed to know that many choose to take the path of accepting me for who I am, not who they chose to see me as. And I'm blessed with those who love me for who I am, even I'm imperfect. In God, I become complete. That's what I want to be. That's what I strive to be. I'm still faraway from it, but I know that He will complete me for sure. If you find me somebody hard to speak with, maybe it is because we're of different wavelength. But that doesn't mean I love you less. Or maybe, we choose to see each other in our own eyes, and not with the eyes of God.

I know I'm being transformed daily. About three years ago, my coursemates ever commented that I should "get a life". Well, I did have a life back then, but I was not fulfilled having such peaceful life. Now, I do have a life - no matter how boring it may sound to many of you who are used to something else. Life can be as simple, yet as beautiful as this: To wake up in the morning listening to birds chirpping outside the window, a simple breakfast/brunch of bread with campbell mushroom soup, attending daily mass, shopping for christmas gifts in shopping mall and lastly end the night with fried noodles, mamak style, and a movie at home. Though it sounds like some lonely people, but I know I'm not the only one doing so. Many do that, quietly, and pretending they are alright to others but completely frustrated why they are doing all these all alone, feeling lonely and all. I do what I've just described, and I praise God that I have the opportunity and freedom to do that, and I'm perfectly at ease to know my life is simple, yet wonderful. This is my season of singlehood. Who knows how long this will last before God calls me to another season of my life on earth? So I got to enjoy every minute of my singlehood because He knows what's best for me.

I kinda miss my friend at this moment though... I wonder how is he doing wherever he is?

I hope you who feel as though life has to be more than what you have now to take courage and start living and breathing in the life that you already own. God bless!

"Haven't I commanded you? Strength! Courage! Don't be timid; don't get discouraged. GOD, your God, is with you every step you take."
~ Joshua 1:9 MSG ~

Thy Will Be Done

How many-a-times we prayed "Thy will be done" and then fret over a matter that we've been praying? Me... Countless times!! How many times we complain how we're suffering? Many of us have at least one account to tell about how life made him/her suffer, but have we ever looked into the suffering of Christ before telling our sufferings? I've done many of the above mentioned, except looking deeply into the sufferings He bore for me.

During the Good Friday's homily, Archbishop John Lee was our celebrant and he shared deeply about Christ's suffering for us. All the three readings for Good Friday (Isaiah 52:13 - 53:12; Hebrews 4:14-16, 5:7-9; John 18:1 - 19:42) spoke about how Jesus suffered for our sins. A question Bishop posted to us was this: Have you ever look at the face of Jesus? What kind of face that Jesus has in your life?

He mentioned that this face of Jesus during Good Friday is a face full of spittle, full of wounds, full of blood, crowned with thorns. He suffered so much because of our sins. Are we touched by Jesus for the sorrows of our sins? Lenten season is a season of conversion... "Have I come back? Am I touched? Are we opened for conversion? Are we coming back?" This is the day for us all to experience the saving power of God and we have to respond to the grace so that our sins will be wiped away. During veneration of the cross, we have to remember the sinful person we are and that's the cross Jesus bore for us. So if we embrace the cross, we'll be saved.

The highlight for me came at the point where Bishop touched on the issue of suffering and our attitude towards suffering. We should look at the faith that Jesus has during suffering. He did not give up even when He did not receive the answer from God when He cried out to God in the garden of Gethsamane, on the cross. He still responded with "Thy will be done", which is a total submission into the hands of His Father. All of us have sufferings even when we don't want it. We have pain, sicknesses, problems in family, etc. Many of the sufferings come from sins, but some are just there. Even when there's no answer from God, we have to look at what did Jesus do at the garden of Gethsamane and at the cross. If Jesus had waited for an answer from God and did not submit, there wouldn't be salvation in the history. Sometimes, we do whatever we can, but in the end, we have to say "Thy will be done" and that's when salvation comes. Truly, Bishop answered my question about how we should face sufferings in life...

Besides that, we must die because as stated in the bible, "Very truly, I tell you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains just a single grain; but if it dies, it bears much fruit." (John 12:24). It reminds me of somebody who ever told me about the parable of "The Seed". However, in this context, what I can understand is that the price of transformation is a total giving up of self to God and then only salvation comes and sweeps us off our feet.

Another part of Bishop's homily which made me pondered at that moment was when he mentioned about St. John's narration of the Passion in the Gospel of John. The phrase used by Bishop that really made me interested to continue listening was, "In St. John's gospel, by that passion of Jesus, He has the whole control over the whole economy of salvation and He showed His Majesty." (or something like that...) The economy of salvation... I hope I didn't get it wrongly, so people, if you were in SHC listening to Bishop's homily, correct me if it's wrong. He mentioned that St. John never narrated anything to see that Jesus isn't under control. St. John never mentioned about Jesus keeping silence, or supportive women... etc. But he mentioned about what Pilate written of Jesus' charge - "JESUS, THE NAZARENE, KING OF THE JEWS". It also showed the control of Jesus over the situation by stating that when Jesus has seen that all is done according the the scriptures, He said to the Father, "Into Your hands I comment my spirit. It is accomplished." Because all is done, thus the salvation through Jesus is completed. Jesus also gave Mary to John as his mother, and John to Mary as her son. It is, in fact, the first sign of community.

So, us, created in the image of God, should look at Jesus and ask Him to show His face to us. Besides that, we have to be grateful to the Lord and ask to be transformed to the way of God through the cross...

This is not all of what Bishop had mentioned during his homily, just bits and parcel of it. Especially parts that struck me hard. As I walked to the cross during veneration, I couldn't help but wonder what kind of man is this who had the strength to carry all the sins of the world. Imagine myself committing a sin, I'd have felt that tonnes of burdens on my shoulder already. How could this man carry the sins of the whole world, my sins in my entire life? But because Jesus is man and God, and His willingness to carry them for us all, He did it. And salvation was completed. The prophecy of old is fulfilled. Amen to the scandalous love of Christ! Amen to the salvation of mankind! Amen to our Lord who submitted and called out "Thy will be done!"