Life is Beautiful

As I'm reflecting and waiting for the time to drive to church for penitential service and confession, I suddenly remembered what my friend had commented back in August about my view of life after knowing me for four days...

He said that I packaged everything beautifully. Though he meant to say I'm being unrealistic, I saw it and still see it as an affirmation. Life can be both ugly and beautiful. I'm merely trying to be more positive in all the negative things in my life. I have to remember that my temper and emotions are colourful, meaning I have 101 emotions and sometimes I lose the patience of controlling them. When I see things in a more positive angle, though too ideal at times, I'm a happier me. Why not, then?

Life is cruel, but with God, all things become more beautiful. In this season of joyful celebration, we got to realize the cruel-but-filled-with-enormous-love fact that Jesus was born some 2000 years ago to redeem us from sins, and He still does, in year 2009.

Just now as I checked my Facebook, there was a message from a Canadian who has just come to KK as a diving instructor. Being new and looking for friends, somehow I was asked to be a friend - well, it was a "total disaster" for him, I think! He got uncomfortable chatting with me when it comes to God as the center of the topic. In other people's eyes, I'm too "religious" and hard to communicate. In other words, being "stuck up". Perhaps this Canadian guy was looking for a fling with some local girl, that is why it was very uncomfortable to talk about the Creator. It is easy that we profess that we're Christians, but our way of life is no way near to being Christ-like. How many of us here can feel it? I can. I'm no angel, nor am I religious. I'm a sinner, like you guys out there. What made him so uncomfortable with me, then? Because I took the courage to share about God to him. When we're striving to be Christ-like, we're called to be His witnesses. Nope, God never promises us that it will be easy to be Christians, but He promises us that He will be with us as we speak of Him.

I have my fun side, I have my knowledgeable side. It is just a matter of whether one chooses to see me as who they want to see me as. I am blessed to know that many choose to take the path of accepting me for who I am, not who they chose to see me as. And I'm blessed with those who love me for who I am, even I'm imperfect. In God, I become complete. That's what I want to be. That's what I strive to be. I'm still faraway from it, but I know that He will complete me for sure. If you find me somebody hard to speak with, maybe it is because we're of different wavelength. But that doesn't mean I love you less. Or maybe, we choose to see each other in our own eyes, and not with the eyes of God.

I know I'm being transformed daily. About three years ago, my coursemates ever commented that I should "get a life". Well, I did have a life back then, but I was not fulfilled having such peaceful life. Now, I do have a life - no matter how boring it may sound to many of you who are used to something else. Life can be as simple, yet as beautiful as this: To wake up in the morning listening to birds chirpping outside the window, a simple breakfast/brunch of bread with campbell mushroom soup, attending daily mass, shopping for christmas gifts in shopping mall and lastly end the night with fried noodles, mamak style, and a movie at home. Though it sounds like some lonely people, but I know I'm not the only one doing so. Many do that, quietly, and pretending they are alright to others but completely frustrated why they are doing all these all alone, feeling lonely and all. I do what I've just described, and I praise God that I have the opportunity and freedom to do that, and I'm perfectly at ease to know my life is simple, yet wonderful. This is my season of singlehood. Who knows how long this will last before God calls me to another season of my life on earth? So I got to enjoy every minute of my singlehood because He knows what's best for me.

I kinda miss my friend at this moment though... I wonder how is he doing wherever he is?

I hope you who feel as though life has to be more than what you have now to take courage and start living and breathing in the life that you already own. God bless!

"Haven't I commanded you? Strength! Courage! Don't be timid; don't get discouraged. GOD, your God, is with you every step you take."
~ Joshua 1:9 MSG ~

Freedom in Boundaries

On this day of your life, Cindy, we believe God wants you to know ... that you are only as free as you imagine yourself to be.
	There is nothing ''out there'' that's holding you down, - you are limiting yourself only with your own imagination. And your greatest limits are not even the ''cannot'' and the ''should not'', but the places where your imagination hasn't yet gone at all. There has never been a better time for you to open your eyes, let the imagination soar and see what more is possible.

Recently I'm attracted to this application on Facebook that generates message everyday supposedly what God wants people to know... I do pray that the people behind this application are praying very hard to discern the messages "God wants us to know" and not fall into the trap of the evil one.

Oh well... It seems that whatever written for today is applicable to my life... (It is beginning to have a lookalike thing - similar to horoscope reading!) It is pretty nice, but in the Scriptures we're reminded to be careful of false prophets too. So, people, sometimes, people who are nice all the time may not be too nice after all. Hmm...

Alright, getting back to my topic of the day... Freedom in Boundaries. What is freedom? What are boundaries? I'm beginning to see myself as a boundaryless person running around all my life and that isn't too nice to be revealed. But this truth is helping me to solve bits and pieces of the "mysteries" enshrouding my whole life. It may be amusing to some of you, but have you ever wondered why is everyone living in boxes that you can see but cannot open? If you do, perhaps you're like me somehow. I'm not trying to scare you here, but do give it a serious thought. Maybe you may see more light out of it.

Two years ago, the theme of Lifeline's Freedom Camp was "Beyond the Lies" and the verse behind this was John 8:32. I never really fully understood the deep meaning beneath this verse until recently. Let's take a look at the verse (taken from Good News Bible):

"You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."
~ John 8:32 ~

How true that is! I finally found the many truths withheld from me in my "multiple sclerosis" which has deteriorated to a stage where I began to realize there are so much pain in my body that it is not functioning normally. Hence, the search of truth begins...

By reading the book "Boundaries" by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend, I start to realize the "boundaryless" attitude in my life of 27 years and how it had crippled me in the sense of responsibilities and commitments. I'm still in the process of seeking truths and lies about my life... So there will be more to come about this. But one this is for sure, that boundaries will bring freedom.

I would like to take this opportunity to first give a big hug to thank a friend who triggered me to seek my boundaries after our boundaries conversation last Monday. (You know who you are if you read this entry, so I need not mention your name. I know you enjoy high level of privacy and mysteries!) Besides that, I also want to thank Melissa Nicholas, Melissa Audrey and Josephine Hiu for our journey in our on-going Retreat with St. Therese. Also to Derek Chong, SHC Youth Worker, who is currently my life coach. And lastly, to thank the God who loves me to eternity.

God bless & Pax et Bonum.

P/S: I'm trying to get my own copy of the book "Boundaries". So if anyone sees it in the bookstore, please call me immediately. So far I've checked in Salvation Bookstore in KK, Capstone Bookstore in Iramanis, but no avail. Thanks!