Paper, Rock and Scissors

This is written on 1 January 2013 on Tity's blog...

Six months later, she returned to the Lord.

A photo of Tity having a meal at my place a few years back in KK.

This is a tribute to a dear friend who passed away earlier this month which I wrote on Facebook:

On 3rd June 2013, 10.50 am (GMT+8), I lost a great friend.

She fought a good fight all the years I knew her.

My first few years of serving in ministry, she was there with me.

We worshipped, we prayed, we laughed, we cried.

She showed me how living life could be so precious.

She laughed out loud always.

A wise and witty girl she was.

I remembered one night in Sacred Heart Parish Center,

I saw her arm with a needle sticking in it.

She said she sneaked out from the hospital for the night.

Tomorrow morning she had to go back.

I remembered laughing and singing along in her Kelisa,

while she and Egn drove me home.

That was when Kambing Kicik and Kambing Besar came into picture.

How could I forget her supportive sisterly love,

when she accompanied me to confront the someone who hurt me a lot?

And the wise advice she'd give me?

Nothing deterred her from living life to the fullest.

She was an example I gave my students when I was a teacher.

We briefly chatted on WhatsApp ages ago.

The next time I go back to KK,

we would go "jalan-jalan cari makan".

This summer, she will not be there.

But I know she's with Daddy God.

All healed and complete.

No more overnight transfusion.

No more hospitalization.

Now she's with her mom.

Maybe she met my dad too.

In the place where Jesus has prepared for us all.

Till we meet again, my dear sister in Christ,

I will be strong.

I will live my life to the fullest.

I will tell others your story.

A story of faith, hope and love.

You have run and finished the race first.

Say hi to Daddy God and Jesus.

I miss you, Tity.

Safe trip to heaven, sis.

Bye for now. — with Charlene Dawn Toyong.

Blog Design!

Oh my gosh!!

Besides "abandoning" my blog for ages due to multiple reasons, I had failed to upkeep its appearance. It looks HORRIBLE and UGLY. I'd need to "shop" for a new blog design to match a new chapter in life.

Yeah, I'm completing my masters in about 6 weeks, and right now I'm struggling like a fish on the land. (aka very badly).

Spiritual life is practically like searching for an oasis in an uncharted desert ground with not much success, relationship status is still null (friends even suggested me to try Catholic online dating website!!), and dissertation deadline is pushing near, and I'm totally overhauled! :'( I need prayers, guys (whoever who reads my blog). Future uncharted, uncertainties looming. Well-suited for my uglified blog design indeed.

This morning I purposely stayed in bed until like... now (11 am). Even though I had been awake since before 9 am. My plan to sleep in late always fails, anyway.

I've decided to make some changes in my life from now on... TO start with.. the uglified blog design. And I just discovered that I DON'T KNOW WHERE IS MY PAINT APP on WIN8. So far I have not much of complaints about Windows 8, except being unfriendly to the user (me). Haha. Okay, perhaps it is just me not familiarizing with Win8.

Here's how my blog looks like on 22 June 2013, 11.16 am (BST)

And design shopping begins now!!!!! ^________^

Blessed Birthday, My Friend!

Some 33 years ago, an awesome couple gave birth to their youngest son on 13th March. And today is 13th March and I thank God for the blessing of knowing a man who is after God's very own heart. On this very special day, I pray that God will always bless him with faith, hope, love and joy in life as he does all that God calls him to. He was there as a great support when I was dealing with my dad's illness and passing, and for this, I will always remember the kindness and love he had showered me. I felt less alone with his support then. And so I pray that he will find true happiness doing God's work always. Blessed Birthday and much love from me to you who are thousands of miles away!

Lenten Reflection: 6th March 2013, Wednesday

Only take heed, and keep your soul diligently, lest you forget the things which your eyes have seen, and lest they depart from your heart all the days of your life; make them known to your children and your children's children.

(Deuteronomy 4:9)

This is a trying time for all Malaysians, especially those currently residing in Sabah, be it the locals or those from West Malaysia. Since my previous post on the issue of intrusion in Sabah by the sultan (whose identity is questionable) of a long-gone sultanate of Sulu, and how bloodshed had occurred, I hadn't posted a reflection of the daily readings. I have to admit and confess that I was angry with my fellow countrymen who posted troll pictures and/or politically-inclined statements on Facebook without taking responsibilities of the consequences which might happen due to their irresponsible statements. I was deeply disturbed by the current conditions which are considered one of the biggest security crises Malaysia had ever experienced ever since the days of communists attack right after independence.

Today's first reading deeply touched my heart, reminding me that the peace and unity of multiracial Malaysia aren't to be taken for granted. For about 50 years we took for granted the peace in the country while our neighbouring countries were in chaos. Right now, we finally are in the same shoes as our neighbours who struggled so much to bring peace in their nations. Indeed, as what was advised in the book of Deuteronomy - to never forget things which we are experiencing right now. We must always bear in mind and in hearts how we regain our independence and peace within the country. We must appreciate the martyrs' blood that was shed to protect our nation during this invasion of 2013. It is crucial that this should be included as part of our modern history to remind our future generation the hardship which we go through, be it physically, mentally, emotionally or spiritually, when our security forces battled with the barbaric terrorists. It also reminds me to never take for granted my homeland. No matter how far I am right now, Malaysia will always be home, and a nation which I am proud to be born as her people.

As individuals, we don't seem to be able to do anything. But as a nation, we could do something besides voicing out our opinions about the situation, that is to PRAY FOR PEACE AND SAFETY IN SABAH. Right now, we're entering the 3rd day of Divine Mercy Novena for this special intention (GMT time), while in Malaysia, it is already the 3rd day of the novena. I, personally, am very encouraged to see everybody, doesn't matter what race or nationality, is united in prayers according to their own religious beliefs. This is one of those challenging times in our nation which ignites a very strong sense of patriotism regardless of age, ethnicity or religious beliefs. May God hear our prayers and all things will be renewed in the whole Malaysia due to this event! Amen!

Please join us to pray for Sabah by joining the FB event which is created. We have been praying the Divine Mercy Novena since 5th March until 13th March. (click here to join the event)

Prayers for Sabah, Malaysia

Many may not know where Sabah is, until the recent chaos caused by a claim of a long-extinct sultanate of Sulu that Sabah, MALAYSIA, is their homeland and they suddenly "desire to claim the land" back. Hence, a few hundreds Suluk "warriors" sailed from their origin, which is the PHILIPPINES, about a month ago, and tried to take over a village in Lahad Datu. Warriors or not, personally, they didn't think of the interests of those Suluk people who left southern Philippines during the crazy murderous times for a better life in Malaysia, be it as asylum seekers or illegal immigrants. Had this very high almighty sultan without a land but full of empty promises ever spare a thought for the fate of his potential "royal subjects" of Suluk people living in Sabah when he launched this murderous act? Probably he thought sacrificing the opportunities of more than 800,000 Suluks in Sabah to live a better life is worth of his future "kingdom". Or maybe he didn't consider the consequences of his murderous acts. Imagine them being chased back to their original land of southern Philippines due to this act of their "king"? The predator will be preyed upon their flee home I guess.

Not forgetting the natives who live in Sabah for more than 20000 years. Will they ever consider this "conquerer" a king or an intruder of their peaceful land? His "royal highness" probably forgot that besides his "royal subjects", the land is inhabited by the real royal subjects of the DYMM King of Malaysia. He forgot that Sabah gained independence through the formation of Malaysia in 1963 and has since been in the world map as part of Malaysia, not a part of some fabricated "Nation of Sulu". He forgot that a kingdom obtained by bloodshed will end in bloodshed too. Maybe soon he will remember. Maybe.

I'm just a Malaysian who lived in peaceful land of Sabah for 9 years before leaving to further my studies. I saw development, maybe some complaints (as usual) here and there, and definitely a great deal of diversity and unity. The love and peace shared in the state encouraged me that Malaysia is worth fighting for. A diverse nation yet live rather harmoniously together. We, Malaysians, are special and different ethnic groups live as one for more than 50 years now. I am saddened and angered by acts of thoughtlessness towards my home of 9 years, a place I want to call home in future too.

Maybe this self-declared royal highness of a long-gone kingdom wants a better life himself, and for his family members in future. Yet, he truly has forgotten the men whom he brainwashed to fight for his betterment have family members who love them too. Spare a thought for them too!

As the alerts are raised and people are tensed about the possibility of Kota Kinabalu, the capital city of Sabah, to be attacked by these intruders, prayers are lifted up by every person who believes in God. Be it Christians, Muslims or any other religions, all with one voice is crying out to God to save His people. I personally will be starting the novena of Divine Mercy tonight for this intention. And may the Lord strengthen the faith of His people in Sabah, and grant peace upon this land below the wind once again. Amen.

Lenten Reflection: 3rd March 2013, Sunday

The Lord is merciful and kind... (Psalm 103:8a)

I'm writing from the desk of my friend in Liverpool, since I am currently outstation to do my sample collection for my masters project. It is indeed a blessing in my life to have met so many wonderful and hospitable Malaysian students here, and their kind assistance to my project is indeed very much appreciated. I just can't help thanking my friend, Neb, again and again for her help to lookup her friends in Liverpool. Indeed, the Lord is merciful and kind...

Today morning, as I woke up from the sleep and went through the whole routine of checking mails, and Facebook notifications, I saw more news on the intrusion of the state of Sabah, Malaysia, by the no-land Sulu "sultanate". This land has been my home for the past nine years, and all my spiritual family members residing in this peaceful land below the wind are currently at the very center of commotion. I am genuinely concerned about the current situation in Sabah when I read the news that five policemen were down during an ambush in Semporna. Since Malaysia was formed in 1963, we barely faced dangerous situations as such, at least since I was born until now. I had lived through peaceful, developing times of Malaysia. I am saddened by the fact of all the chaos which are happening back home while I am in Europe for my studies. There is nothing much which I could do, besides offering my worries to the Lord, and praying for this land and people whom I love back home, and also to relay information of my network to others who may need it in my network. But indeed, the Lord is still merciful and kind...

Many people may say that this is untrue, and rebuke that if the Lord is really merciful, such chaos would not happen. I saw something beautiful in the midst of chaos. More people are praying right now for to regain peace in Sabah. More people are united against foreign forces who are trying to invade the state. More people return to God because of difficult times. Yes, our faith is challenged by all these chaotic situations, and yes, it can be shaken. But this faith of the size of the mustard seed can move mountains if we believe that God will bring peace to His people even in the midst of stormy seas in life. Jesus calmed the sea more than two thousand years ago when the Apostles were afraid and called out to Him. He would be here with us to calm the storms in our lives, if we call out to Him too. And our God is the God of second chances, and He would be merciful and kind if we turn to Him once again.

So let us renew our faith by giving ourselves a chance to believe in God again, and pray for physical and spiritual renewals for ourselves, and for everyone else. And pray specially for peace in the Sabah, Malaysia, in times of trouble like this. Amen.

Lenten Reflection: 2nd March 2013, Saturday

I'm sitting in the train waiting for the weekend getaway to start. Looking at worried faces of the train workers and the initial failure to start the train, I have in mind of a delayed journey. I like my days planned rather than unplanned but delays as such are inevitable. Yesterday I spent the whole day in my room trying to complete my essay and I did find it hard to start. Once the ideas started flowing out, it became easier.

And suddenly the train begins the journey towards Nottingham where I'll catch the connecting train to Liverpool. Hence, my journey begins.

Today's Gospel is on the parable of the prodigal son. This is a reminder for me and probably to you all, that we are loved deeply by the Father and all He yearns is that we return home to Him despite the unworthiness we feel inside. All the sins and wrongdoings which may have hindered our relationship with God are what we should leave behind and run towards God who saves us. The act of Jesus dying on the cross has often be misunderstood as a reflection of suffering and cruelty of mankind. Yet, this very act of His death redeemed us from the Satan and reestablished our relationship with God, if only we accept and proclaim Him as our Saviour.

May we have the courage to return home this Lent no matter what we have done. Amen.