About The Author

By the grace of God, I bring to you my world of thoughts, my humbled self. These are my ramblings which go on as the time flees, with love that stays.

Saturday, 20 September 2008

Overcoming Dark Forces - Henri J.M. Nouwen

You are still afraid to die. That fear is connected with the fear that you are not loved. Your question "Do you love me?" and your question "Do I have to die?" are deeply connected. You asked these questions as a little child, and you are still asking them.

As you come to know that you are loved fully and unconditionally, you will also come to know that you do not have to fear death. Love is stronger than death; God's love was there for you before you were born and will be there for you after you have died.

Jesus has called you from the moment you were knitted together in your mother's womb. It is your vocation to receive and give love. But from the very beginning you have experienced the forces of death. They attacked you all through your years of growing up. You have been faithful to your vocation even though you have often felt overwhelmed by darkness. You know now that these dark forces will have no final power over you. They seem overwhelming, but the victory is already won. It is the victory of Jesus, who has called you. He overcame for you the power of death so that you could live in freedom.

You have to claim that victory and not live as if death still controlled you. Your soul knows about the victory, but your mind and emotions have not fully accepted it. They go on struggling. In this respect you remain a person of little faith. Trust the victory and let your mind and emotions gradually be converted to the truth. You will experience new joy and new peace as you let that truth reach every part of your being. Don't forget: victory has been won, the powers of darkness no longer rule, love is stronger than death.

After 1 month 10 days

I'm back from the long silence... I'm officially on ministry break. As much as I know our ministry requires leaders to be there, I know I can't give what I don't have. Thus, after struggling for so long, I've decided to take a ministry break after extensive sharing with the coordinator. It is approved! LOL! Now is the time to mend the brokenness, repair the blockage, renew myself in the Lord. Praise God for His grace!

There is this relationship which I held on dearly which I pray that it will be mended in time to come, to regain the glory, not for ourselves, but for the Lord whom our hearts are anchored to. Time will come, but now, only prayers can work miracles onto the healing which seemed so unlikely unto the relationship. People categorized it as friendship, to me, it is a relationship. Any form of connections I have with people, it is already considered as a relationship to me. Like a kite which I held on too tightly, the thread broke free. But I believe God is holding on the kites of our lives with His great loving hands. And I believe God has all these prepared.

"For surely I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for your welfare and not for harm, to give you a future with hope. Then when you call upon me and come and pray to me, I will hear you. When you search for me, you will find me; if you seek me with all your heart, I will let you find me, says the Lord, and I will restore your fortunes and gather you from all the nations and all the places where I have driven you, says the Lord, and I will bring you back to the places from which I sent you into exile."

~Jeremiah 29:11-14~


What amazed me is how God allowed me to first read this verse in the bible after P&W session last night and also an passage written by Henri J.M. Nouwen from the book "The Dance of Life" edited by Michael Ford. The title of the passage is "Overcoming Dark Forces". I'll share this article with you all shortly.

I remember someone told me or maybe I read it somewhere... That the furthest journey on earth is from the head to the heart. As I journey deep into my own heart, I feel as though it is like walking on desert sand, where temptations of water source creep into the head, disappointing and discouraging the continual journey. I can only pray that this journey will come to an end at the time God has given me. His plan is so amazing and I can only wait for His revelation to come to me. And I pray that He will take me under His wings and teach me to soar in the sky without limit. Also that He will heal the relationships which are broken in my life. Amen!

Monday, 11 August 2008

Status Update

Due to certain reasons, I'll not be blogging here until further notice. Please continue praying for me, for I am struggling with much in my basket. Thanks.

Monday, 28 July 2008

2 Chronicles 15:15

"And all Judah rejoiced at the oath: for they had sworn with all their heart, and sought him with their whole desire; and he was found of them: and the LORD gave them rest round about."

When I am weak, He is strong and He is the only One whom I can hold on and lean on to. Never had I been so lost before, yet He is still there. And the Lord promised to all who answer Him that if we are willing to seek Him with our whole desire, we will find Him waiting for us and He will give us rest. That's the rest that I'm seeking, that's the rest which I desire most. Nobody can hold me closer than He does, and nobody is able to sustain the secrets that I have, except Him alone. And to this God I pledged my life on the day of my Confirmation, and to this God shall I be bound forever. It's tough to remember His love at times, but He waits ever so patiently for me to return to Him. And that's what made my relationship with Him so different, so wonderful.

Yet, I sometimes falter. Sometimes, emotions of the world overwhelms my tiny space in the heart and I lost focus of Him. Like Peter, I sink when I get distracted by my surroundings. Like Peter, I forget to fix my eyes on Jesus. Like Peter, I want to cry out loud, "Lord Jesus, save me!" and I know He will save me because His unending and unfailing love for me. I hurt Him endless times, yet He still saves. He's the only Hope and Light of the world whom I can trust to do wonders in this wretched life of mine. From a pile of dust, He mold me into who I am today. When I become unappreciative and worship some other non-gods, He waits patiently for me to return, calling me in ways that no other human would ever do. He nudges me gently and patiently. And through His Word, I see His promise of eternal salvation, His promise of eternal rest, His promise of never-ending love. And through His Word, He tells me gently that He's still there no matter what occurs in life. Through the storms, He is there. Through the flood, He's still there. He is the Alpha and the Omega... The Beginning and the End... He, is the Lord, my God, my Saviour.

Human relationships may fail, human relationships may end, but His relationship with us will never fade. Trust in the Lord, your God, for He alone is the sovereign Lord.

O Lord, have mercy on me, a sinner! Amen!

:)

Thursday, 24 July 2008

Jealousy

Recently, I find that this topic popped into my mind so often than not, and after doing some research online, I've found some bible verses connecting this verse to life struggles of many youths. Many-a-times we do not realize that we're practically committing sins because of what we think and feel, and many-a-times we forgot to turn back to our Creator, our God and Saviour for comfort and peace.

Here I wish to bring to attention the seven deadly sins before I scrutinize further on jealousy. According to what I know and what I read further, the seven deadly sins are listed as below:
  1. Lust (Latin, luxuria)
  2. Gluttony (Latin, gula)
  3. Sloth (Latin, acedia)
  4. Greed (Latin, avaritia)
  5. Wrath (Latin, ira)
  6. Envy (Latin, invidia)
  7. Pride (Latin, superbia)
Out of all these deadly sins (mortal sins), I'd like to discuss more on jealousy which is known as envy in the list above. Have we (or I) ever thought how can we (or I) overcome jealousy? Have the Bible said anything about this?

In order for us to stage a war against jealousy, we need to discern to root causes to it... Typically, jealousy grows out of insecurity, fear, deception, or covetousness. And all these ARE stated in the bible several times... Sometimes, it is just the matter of whether we WANT to recognize what we have read in the Word.

Personal Insecurity...
More often than not, we base our security on the opinion, affirmation, and acceptance of others. We tend to be insecure when we feel rejections or when we feel unloved. And this is NOT good, as it leads us to perceive the strengths of others as threats to ourselves. In order to battle with this lack of personal security, we must first turn back to God through His Word and hold on firmly to His unfailing love and acceptance... One of the verses which really woke me up is from Psalm 143:8 "Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul."

Fear...

This is another cause of jealousy. This can devastate Godly relationships as much as insecurity because fear, when it controls us, does not help to maintain relationships or positions we desire. Instead of keeping it, we are pushing it away because of jealousy! In one of the articles I read, it was written that there is nothing we can hang on to that is worth what we are giving up. It means the peace we can find through Jesus Christ when we give Him free reign over our lives. This is what we are giving up because of jealousy. If we fear, then we must first recognize what we fear, and then confess before God so that our thoughts will be transformed through God's Words. One verse which struck me on this issue of fear as root cause of jealousy is 1 John 4:18 "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love." Another verse which relates us to the sufferings of Christ because of our burdens (in this case, our fears) is from Galatians 5:1 "It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery".

Deception...
Deception = Lies. How does it cultivate jealousy? Well, sometimes, we perceive threats which do not exist in reality. Our perception of life gets distorted due to lies we believe about others and ourselves. Let's take an example of a young couple in relationship. Maybe the boy has other close girl-friends and he shares what they told him often to his girlfriend because of his trust on her not to be jealous. But because of the distorted perception of the girl, she might be thinking that one of those girl-friends is out to get her boyfriend, and thus jealousy grows deeply inside her. This is hazardous for the relationship, because of lies that the Devil tells to the girl. This battle is not ours but God's. We need to set ourselves free from this deception by knowing what He says in His Word. In John 8:32, Jesus said "You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free" while in Psalm 24:4-5, the psalmist seek God's face by saying, "Show me your ways, O Lord, teach me your paths; guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Saviour, and my hope is in you all day long."

Covetousness...
This is a deep desire to possess another person. In another way of explanation, this is also known as possessiveness. This is one issue that individuals in relationships face often. Covetousness tends to lead us to aggressive jealousy which had been spoken against in the Bible. The Ten Commandments during Moses' time had spoken about this issue: "You shall not covet your neighbour's house. You shall not covet your neighbour's wife, or his manservant or maid, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbour." (Exodus 20:17) Covetousness roots in us when we become dissatisfied with the blessings God bestowed upon us and it is a terrible thing is we disallow it to lead us to Christ. Satisfaction in God Himself will lead us away from sins. One verse which I can find to fight against covetousness is: "This is what the Lord says - your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel: "I am the Lord you God, who teaches you what is best for you, who directs you in the way you should go. If only you had paid attention to my commands, your peace would have been like a river, your righteousness like the waves of the sea" (Isaiah 48:17-18).

The key to biblically overcoming jealousy is to discern the roots of your jealousy and then battle them with the truth of God's Word. Put into practice the challenge in Romans 12:1-2: "Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God _ this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, buy be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - his good, pleasing and perfect will."

And lastly, one passage from the bible which has been spoken of so often is from the gospel of Luke, about the prodigal son. But this time, we are not looking at the prodigal son, but his own brother... And take note of what the father says to the son...


Luke 15:25-32
"Meanwhile, the older son was in the field. When he came near the house, he heard music and dancing. So he called one of the servants and asked him what was going on. 'Your brother has come,' he replied, 'and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has him back safe and sound.'

"The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him. But he answered his father, 'Look! All these years I've been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!'

"My son,' the father said, 'you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.'


Indeed, we have always been in that relationship and everything we have belongs to the Father. Why then be jealous of others? We already have enough and thus should be contented living in peace with Christ closely in our hearts. Praise the Lord who saves us and give glory to Him in all that we do, all that we say and most importantly, all that we think.

:)

Monday, 14 July 2008

Sleep

After switching my job from a marketing executive to a secondary school educator, one of the biggest issue (also a challenge) is about sleep. I had troubles with waking up and sleeping at the right time, causing other issues. In fact, it is like a cascading domino effect... When a person is in stress and fatigue conditions all the time, that individual will be facing problem to have enough time to rest, and this constant condition causes lower productivity and performance level! Oh! How terrible the domino effect is!!

I've got a verse by which I'm relying upon to wake up each day... Let me share with you who read... I hope it helps those who are also facing difficulty in waking up for their work/studies...


Proverbs 20:13

"Do not love sleep, or else you will come to poverty;
open your eyes and you will have plenty of bread."


Sunday, 13 July 2008

Time Flees, Love Stays

1 Corinthians 13:13

But now remains
faith, hope and love,

these three;

but the greatest of these is love.


As I was preparing myself to re-emerge like a butterfly from a cocoon, I was thinking hard how to start up the first entry. Will I make a mess once again? Or will I fly high enough to soar like an eagle. Oh! Another thought in the rainy season of a humid tropical country girl!

Then I realized the need of setting up a new blog - to convey thoughts, mind, knowledge, emotions, decisions, and most important of all - to spread the seeds of love to all who read. And then I found in the midst of my massive web of thoughts - this verse - one of my favorite - 1 Corithians 13:13. Out of the three - faith, hope and love - love abides.

As time passes, emotions pass by. As time flees, all may change. Yet one thing that doesn't change - love - in its own special way. One of the greatest love story that had ever been produced - the love story of God to mankind. And because of this love, we live. There is this song that I remember singing a great worship song that bears these words:

"Because of His great LOVE, He gave His only Son,
everything was done, so you would come..."


That is the greatest love story ever written in the whole wide world... AND how much have we come to understand this great love??? 10%? 20%? Each of us has a ruler in our heart, and who exactly is our ruler? For once, I can proclaim that I want the greatest lover of all to be the ruler - God Himself. A verse in the bible states that God Himself is LOVE...

Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.
(1 John 4:8 NIV)


Just for the sake of those who think what I said is unrealistic, how many a times when we realize our human relationship turns sour and in a state where nothing can revive it? As for my previous relationships with people - M-a-n-y. How did we ever go through all these? M-a-n-y ways. Alcoholism. Clubbing. Degradation of flesh/body. Drug abuse. Depression. Deceit. Demotivation. Dejection. Death. The gentlest of all - plunging into certain areas of life and starting becoming a -olic (e.g. alcoholic, shopaholic, workaholic) or crying. But it doesn't really help though - only made the eyes smaller than ever because they got so swollen that we couldn't see properly. Oh well!!! :) We can always say, "I'm mere human..." but this was so vague and unrealistic! How do I know who loves me? You will know when you don't close your heart like a fist and pretending you have offer everything you have to the God who is the great I AM.

I will share more of everything if God permits me with time, but now it is time for me to focus back to my work. A decision made, and I pray God grants me patience. :)

By profession, I'm just another mere employee of an organization which conducts education to some group of human race.

By love, I become a philosopher who has 101 things to share.

By grace, I have the ability to make a difference in the life I am living now.

By hope, I proclaim that, "I have been crucified with Christ, and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and delivered Himself up for me." (Galatians 2:19-20)

Till then, adios!