Europe Countdown: Day 43

I actually missed out about 4 days of counting down to my Europe journey... Let's recount what happened over the long, missing days... First was the vocal training by Mrs. Simon Chan from Singapore. It was a really good experience to be taught how to sing properly. As much as I didn't agree on certain issues which she raised up about choirs in Catholic Church, but I'm totally grateful to her willingness to teach a bunch of choir members who do not know how to read notes and the difference between crescendo and crochet. I know we must have frustrated her a lot - the high notes which we did not hit, the inability to get what she was trying to say, etc. Two nights of vocal training, and finally my throat gave up on me and started acting up - the sorethroat and cough became apparent, partly thanks to the crazy weather in KK.

Yesterday was more of a day of resting and then in the evening was Mass and choir performance. In the morning there was report card day in school. I've expected more parents to turn up, but I'm rather disappointed with the outcome. Only half the parents turned up... The performance went without a glitch...

*yawn* I'm just too sleepy to continue... I shall blog about the real Day 43 tomorrow then.

Good night! God bless you always...

Europe Countdown: Day 47

Another day has passed without a trace. As time draws near, every single day becomes precious. I'm still feeling a bit way too exhausted since my KL trip. I know the next trip is coming up very soon and I would have to replenish my energy prior to my trip. Gosh... I wish and I pray that my cert of good conduct will be issued soon. Then at least I can proceed with the visa application and be more restful at night. I've been worrying way too much. When will the date of completion be? I hope it's exactly by the time I fly to KL next month...

I'm so getting sick with the heat and all. I can't really concentrate at work and tend to miss out details which are important. This is so unfair for the people whom I'm reaching out to....

I was supposed to watch X-Men this afternoon to unwind, but I ended up watching a real cool sci-fi movie - Green Lantern - because I made a mistake on the time of the show. Well, knowing nothing about the movie, it was unexpectedly good. In fact, it reminds me of Inception and Avatar. Yeah, I believe it'd be more awesome if it's in 3D format, but I didn't want to spend extra monies on 3D. I bought a nice bag which I will use for traveling, and some cheap cotton socks. It was RM13 for 3 pairs of cotton socks in F.O.S. with 20% discount. So I bought like 6 pairs of the same kind... It shall last me for two years (fingers crossed). I'd need woolen socks if it gets too cold for sure, but that I will get it later on.

Time to rest. Tomorrow onwards I shall try my best to attend daily masses. It becomes so easy to skip mass after a period of time of absence from daily mass.... I am spiritual, charismatic, and yes, religious because I go to church and I believe the teachings of the Church are in accordance to Jesus' teachings, but our eyes are always filled with logs but we could see the tiny speck of dust of another.

God bless all!

Europe Countdown: Day 48

Tick tock! Tick tock! Time is drawing nearer each day.

There are another 47 days before I fly to Europe. Let's recount my day 48 in Malaysia. I went out for an hour to pick up Mel and then headed down to ATI for Erasmus Mundus Association networking meeting. However, we were disappointed because the college staffs informed us that they never even heard of this program, let alone the networking and promotional meeting. Of course, Mel and I had a good catching-up session for about 15 minutes before I drove back to school for my lesson and work. We had part II of the catching up after work though. I am hearing a lot about the negative side of being a Catholic in Europe, a region once sent missionaries to our country and spread this religion of love to our people. Why is the scandals of the church becoming the reason people no longer believe in religion? If religion is used to control the minds of the people, then Jesus must had been the most successful mind controller. Yet, He has always been giving us freewill, to believe or not to believe. He still loves us all the same... How can we be spiritual and not religious? And why these two entities are separated? Penny for my thoughts....

I'm currently having a dull headache. I guess it's the heat in KK. I'm going to miss the humidity and weather for sure. Well, enjoying every single moment of it now, since it won't be long before 48 becomes 8. Yes, I am both excited and worried if I can get all things done, while working at the same time. Of course, I need every single cent of my last two months of salary. My July salary is already being deducted due to my visits to KL. It shall be deducted again middle of July. It's probably one of the worst news, but I know God will still provide somehow. I still have my PAMA foundation (papa-mama foundation that is).

Some of my current students sort of know that I am leaving for studies soon. It's always hard to say goodbyes, but I know it won't be as tough as it would have been if I left two years earlier though. I like the 2009 batch most, perhaps it's due to the fact that they were my first batch of students, and we went through a lot together. The one and only form 5 Compassion class was memorable to me. Not only they remembered me during Teachers' Day and surprised me with the 2-kg-yummy-looking yam cake, but also their golden hearts. I'm glad to see them all (batch 2009) doing well in whatever they are doing. Ah-hah, and the self-proclaimed favorite student of mine. I stayed back until they graduated. And now they had graduated, time for me to spread my wings and fly~

So I shall continue sleeping. Perhaps taking a dose of panadol will help with my headache. I shall let the cat out of the bag soon. When day 40 comes.

God bless all!

Europe Countdown: Day 49

Another 7 weeks to my Europe trip. Frankly speaking, I am lacking of confidence that I would get everything settled on time. Another 6 weeks in school. I am trying so hard now to forgive those who had intentionally informed everyone in the school, including the students that I am going away. In fact, I don't need such promotions. All I want is some serenity to get things done instead of delaying things because of unwanted questions from everyone. I am just tired of explaining myself all the time.

I left KL with a rather heavy heart. I have friends who are battling with something tough and stressful right now. I could do nothing for them, except prayers to be offered for them daily now. Yeah, I wasn't really a good friend, like what she said, when I told her I felt awkward with the silence. I've never really been good with silence, due to my boundaries issues. I really hope that after a while, things will be alright for her and her family.

Yeah, speaking about boundaries issues, now I know I'm at the peak of it. Or am I in the valley? Either one, it means I am struggling with boundaries. One end of it, I want to just be on my own and I can do my stuffs according to the timing I want. On the other end, I hope I can experience kinder and more considerate people. Perhaps I just want some concern from somewhere that is. I am contradicting myself at the moment.

Today's bible verse for reflection:
"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; He will never leave you or forsake you." (Deuteronomy 31:6)

Europe Countdown: Day 50 (Part 1)

WOW. Another 50 days to go. Will my visa be done on time? I just received another "assignment" from the Spanish coordinator in Cordoba - to get my documents legalized.

It's definitely good to eat my mom's rice dumpling. But of course, parents will always be parents... Can't help but to micro-manage me, as usual.

I have a confession to make: I didn't get to attend mass this Sunday :( Got voted out by my mom and brother last night. This is so disappointing....

I'm in Senai Airport now... waiting for my flight, and apparently it's calling for boarding, so I shall write my next part of my Day 50 in KK.

Europe Countdown: Day 51

I hope I didn't miscalculate the days today. Blogging from my phone while attending a wedding reception in Kepong, Selangor. I'm surprised that the dishes only start coming out after 830pm. Now this is brand new for me.

I just found out that it was teachers' day in school yesterday. I wonder how it went.. Well, time to eat again! ^^

Europe Countdown: Day 52 (Part 02)

Just now I attended daily mass in St. Francis Xavier church in PJ. The priest preached with fervor and charisma, I'd say. He said that it's only in moments of weakness that we would come to recognize that God is in control. In fact, God is always in control. So, we need to have a new way of seeing things, and to recognize that we truly need God in moments of weakness, because God is essential to our lives.

Yeah, I have to admit I need Jesus so much right now. Like I said, it's also very hard for me to walk the talk of being Christ-like. My family relationship isn't so great after all. The patience wears thinner than with new people or at work place. It's harder to love when rejections are norm; judgmental and critical statements are usual. It's even more painful to accept that my family members were the only one who don't congratulate me or even know what I will be doing within these coming six months when I have obtained something which will cause a person to "Wow! It's so good to know that. Congratulations!!" Yet, Jesus said, love one another as I have loved you. And forgive, and you shall be forgiven. Only Him can help me now. Indeed, I am in such a need for Him to help me now!

One of my favorite verses was in the gospel reading for today... What is the treasure which you keep inside your heart? What is the direction which you refer to when you make important decisions in life?

Today's bible verse for reflection:
"For wherever your treasure is, there will your heart be too." (Matthew 6:21)