Lenten Reflection: 28th February 2013, Thursday

"Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose trust is the Lord." (Jeremiah 17:7)

Today the word for me is "trust". Many a times, I failed to trust the Lord 100%. Though I may have prayed for divine providence, I may have failed by doubting if the prayers will be granted according to my plan, my time, my way, my will. In fact, we like to have it our way all the things in life. God's ways are different from mortal ways. Our thoughts and intelligence and understanding are limited, but God is infinite. It seems easy enough to say "I will trust in the Lord", but it is an easier said than done matter. Sometimes when we pray, His answer is a big N-O when we expect it to be a Y-E-S. It can be disappointing to not have it our way. Yet, I learned that His NO in all the wrong things which I had asked through prayers was indeed the utmost blessing in my life. I wouldn't be where I am if God had granted all those bad things I had asked.

Trust in Lord is a blessing, for He alone brings true hope in life.

Even if right now it seems so hard to fully trust God, take it slow - one step at a time. Eventually, we'll get to the 100% trust in Him. If King David, who was acknowledged by God as a man after His own heart, could trust God in times of turbulence and perils, in times of dangers and sorrows, why can't most of us who are basically living in comfortable conditions trust in Him?

Lenten Reflection: 27th February 2013, Wednesday

Yesterday, the word which struck me from the daily readings was "talk".

Today, the word is "serve" from Matthew 20:28...

"... even as the Son of man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many."

Life is a mystery itself, yet, this mystery is definitely a joyful one. Sometimes there are ups, sometimes downs. However, life is never stagnant. I recall telling a worthy friend that I enjoy routine, and am rigid when it comes to routine. When I am trained to speak to one person daily, I get frustrated when the routine changes. Yet, this friend told me that there is nothing that will not change. I do agree with him, but defiantly, I rebuked him then. Yes, I know that "change is the only constant in life", as quoted from Heraclitus, a Greek philosopher. Nobody invites change in his life, but indeed, change is inevitable, just like all the changes which I am going through right now.

For the past 1.5 years, I told the people whom I know that these two years (since 2011) I want to "be still" and receive from God. Oddly enough, I feel like instead of receiving, I suck life out of the people around me sometimes. It was devastating whenever I go through my "moments" that someone in my life will lose their energy source. Right now, it is time for me to "talk" to God, and start looking at Him and learn to "serve" Him fully.

Today there was mass in campus, though not many turned up (as usual), but it was encouraging to see new faces, and yes, the presence of a lecturer of UoL was definitely encouraging! The word "serve" rang loudly in my ears as Fr. John proclaimed the Good News. Yes, while receiving, I am called to serve too, and to walk the talk which Jesus taught us through His life on earth.

Looking at the God who loves me to bits, talking to Him of all my fears and worries in life, and now, considering the mission of serving Him fully. Where will all these lead me to? What about yourselves out there? Have you considered looking deeply into yourselves to meet Him in your fears and worries? Have you tried telling Him the pain which you feel inside? For once, tell Him. May He who created you be the light unto your path tonight.

God bless.

Will You Follow Me?

A friend from the UoL Christian Union shared this on the ULCU Facebook page, and I think it is an awesome reflection for Lent. It stirred my heart into answer and action. What about you? Will you follow HIM?

Lenten Reflection: 26th February 2013, Tuesday

Hear the word of the Lord,

you rulers of Sodom;

listen to the command of our God,

you people of Gomorrah.

'Wash make yourselves clean.

Take your wrong-doing out of my sight.

Cease to do evil.

Learn to do good,

search for justice,

help the oppressed, be just to the orphan,

plead for the widow.

'Come now, let us talk this over,

says the Lord.

Though your sins are like scarlet,

they shall be as white as snow;

though they are red as crimson,

they shall be like wool.

'If you are willing to obey,

you shall eat the good things of the earth.

But if you persist in rebellion,

the sword shall eat you instead.'

The mouth of the Lord has spoken.

(Isaiah 1:10, 16-20)

Today's first reading reminds me of all the sins which I committed in the dark behind close doors, and within my heart. What really struck me is the Lord's openness to "talk this over" about our sins and how we are redeemed if we are "willing to obey", and the prophet Isaiah included both the consequences of persisting in our sinful ways and when we turn back to God. It reminds me that I have a choice, and a decision to make. To follow Him or not is up to me, really... I guess I'm more comfortable to try following Him, despite multiple falls, I live. His will is my mission in life. Though not knowing fully the plan God has for me, I still believe that His plans are the best.

Right now, in the midst of rejections of the PhD applications which I made earlier, I could only trust that His plan is greater than mine. And I am trying to "talk it over" with God about my intentions and let's see where He will lead me to. Besides the further studies intention, I, too, am intending to fuel the starting of Catholic Society in University of Lincoln while I am here. I find this an issue which is very close to my heart and hope that it will materialise. And of course, the plan is to start off with Student Alpha next week and see if it will work out :)

Lenten Offerings

Wow... I just realised that I have not done anything constructive since the start of Lent, and now, we're in the 2nd week of Lent already! Reflecting on what I did since Ash Wednesday until now, I felt ashamed of myself. Knowing that God is good and He is always waiting for us to return to Him at any time, right now, I'm deciding on my personal Lenten Offering. I had slowly abandoned this blog since I started Facebook again after that six-month abstinence from FB. Starting a blog is easy, maintaining one takes effort, and yes, I was short of the effort of writing...

Starting tonight (it's never too late to start), I'm going to write more on spiritual stuffs for this Lent base on the daily readings which I'd reflect upon prior to writing. This also will be a record as I prepare myself for a silent retreat during Holy Week (fingers crossed that it will happen).

Winter Came, Almost Gone

I recall being so excited seeing proper snowfall for the first time in Krakow, Poland because my flight back to UK was delayed for several hours. When Lincoln snowed for the first time this winter, the natural response of catching a snapshot and posting it on my Instagram was just unavoidable. The first snowfall came as light flurries. Real snow came only the next day or two later. Then there was the first (and second) snowman, sliding down a slope, snowball fights... all the wintry experiences were exquisite for a girl from tropical country. The serenity of winter, the white, spotless and untouched ground after a snowfall. All brought me to the see the awesomeness of God's creation. I was in awe.

My winter break was pretty much packed with trips.. first to Reykjavik, Iceland, then to Isle of Wight in UK and lastly to Krakow, Poland. Beauty upon beauty I saw, and God was magnified through His creations. I'll write a special post about my winter trips later on.. :)

Reykjavik, Iceland

Just a short post before sleep. I went for a vacation with some Malaysians to Reykjavik, Iceland. Freezing indeed but a beautiful country nevertheless. Breathtaking sceneries of wintry wild I'd say. The centerpiece of the city is the Lutheran church. The chamber choir was absolutely fantastic. One of the best I've heard. Angelic music. The Golden Circle is a must to visit, and I was there with Edgar. My brain was frozen to the max! But it was really good. Saw the serenity of winter, spurting geyser, cracks of moving tectonic plates of Europe and America, the amazing Gullföss, aurora borealis, Icelandic horses.. that was an experience of a lifetime! We walked on water literally when we were standing on the frozen pond in front of the city hall. We even ate at the hot dog stall where Bill Clinton ate!. Thank God for everything that happened, wonderful experience and sweet memories created.

Mr. Polar and me... :P

The group whom I traveled with. (L-R: Chong Chong, Timmy, Jing, Erik, Edgar and myself)