I had manicure done in preparation for Lidz's wedding tomorrow... I kinda like the design... And I purchased a dress which I looked good in (finally!) in 1Borneo last night... It was a spur out of the moment kind of splurging on myself...

In fact, I'm missing someone who was so dearly to me that my heart is at the point of breaking again... Because of a person, everything changed. Now, nothing else for me in his life. How I wish things would be better. My heart is crying... I am crying.

Where is the love of God that we used to share? Where is the care and concern we used to share? Where is the vision we shared? Where are you now?

All seems to have gone beyond hopes, nothing else seems to left, just because of that person. I've tried to be nice to that person, but eventually I lost all I cherish to her. Such a joke in my life.

No, I can't take it, I seriously can't. Why in the world she must come into our lives and wrecked mine into pieces? WHY?

I'm losing hope... Even some high authority in a certain group attacks me because of what I posted on FB. I don't even know it was a crime to thank a person whom I cherish and also a person who cared for me a lot in the past. Now, I'm like a boat without a sail, bobbing up and down in the middle of the wide ocean, fears surrounding in the darkness. Once an event was a joy which I cherished, now becomes a nightmare which I'd rather forget.

So the person has light to guide the person whom I cherish to shore. So the person whom I cherish followed her and left me here.

My God will bring me back, I know I'm not alone. Oh mankind! How blind are you to His hand! How unworthy I am to deserve His love for me!