Forensic Pathology Class

Strange enough, I actually enjoyed attending Forensic Pathology class even the human anatomy class gave me headache when everybody seemed to be so confident of themselves. I could go extra miles just to find out more about the assignment I have been assigned to do. It is a similar feeling when I did assignments related to molecular biology, genetics and DNA topics. For once, I know my strength of being passionate about these areas.

I can't deny that I care a lot about a comment someone made when I expressed that my passion lies within these areas of interest - molecular biology, genetics, DNA, phylogenetics etc. - that even if I like these areas and want to do a project on these areas, that doesn't mean I'd get an opportunity to work on a final masters project on these areas. Sounds too much like a warning that I don't get what I wish for, and there are many others who are more worthy than me to receive what they want. At that moment, I felt like killing him, tearing his mouth into pieces. That surge of anger surprised me, I'd say. Yet, it was also very clear to me that some people just have to protect themselves. Like how my defensiveness caused anger in me.

I'm pretty messed up recently, with all these analytical chemistry subjects to tackle I know I'm not performing the way I should be. I just hope I can pass through these challenges, and have a better 1.5 years ahead of me. Never mind that cold and heartless comment that person expressed when I shared my dream. I hate to see people crushing my dreams, but this is life in a blind and self-absorbed world. So I shall work for the sake that what I do will glorify God. I am certain I don't need people like this in my life, making me feel small about myself. It is enough that I was brought up this way. Time to break free from this bondage which caused me not to believe that I have equal opportunities as others.

If it is meant to be, I will get the project I want.

P/S: Can someone please shut up the radio that is broken nearby? It's a literal translation of I'm tired of listening to humming and singing when I need to concentrate in studying in my room without needing to plug my ears with earphones. I don't need noise pollution.

Excellent Sunny Day in Radcliffe, United Kingdom

I'm currently in Radcliffe, UK, visiting my friend's ex-director since Friday evening. There was no snow, but definitely lots of rain. Yet, by God's blessing, today has been a wonderfully sunny day. We decided to go for a walk to the water canal nearby and there were a family of swans swimming us by. Look at the pic! The daddy and mommy swans swam ahead of the 3 ugly ducklings.

Daddy and Mommy Swan leading the babies...

Teenage ugly ducklings :P

I visited Barcelona too. It was great to have a lot of sun there, so warm that I could visit the seaside again and again during the 3 days there...

Here's how it looked like to be going to the beach during winter...

Cold wind but sunny day and blue Mediterranean sea as background.

Indeed, the Lord has been gracious to me, to allow me this opportunity to visit Europe in a leisure manner, not squeezing everything in a tight schedule.

Blessed 3rd Sunday of Advent

Yes, I am smiling genuinely. I don't know if it's due to the McD effect or because I finally found a young adult prayer group here. Though some speak very little English and the prayers are generally in Spanish, but it's a young adult group!! My 3rd family... Last night I attended for the first time the gathering, and this photo was taken as the post-prayer gathering makan-makan session. Haha. McD!!! The first mcD after Gibraltarian McD with my Malaysian delegates to YAI.

Last night, the priest spoke about constancy in prayer life. I have to admit it's not easy to be consistent in prayers... The whole praying daily thingy... I really salute a friend - Joanna Chai - for the constancy she had shown as an example during my uni days. I really miss my friend, but we have lost contact since... two years ago, and her email address is no longer working. I really hope to know what had happened to her since our last email contact early 2010.

Hope God will provide a way for us to contact again.

Blessed Advent. Joyous Sunday.

Another 4 hours before Forensic Botany Exam...

Yups, another 3 hours plus before I face my first final examination of this Masters course... Kinda unsure if I should abandon the last part of the classes in lab - Wood and also Fruit and Seed - I also meant to revise again the techniques for Pollen Extraction --- Or I should just try to close my eyes and enter into dreamland. Well, after the grande Nescafe in the middle of the night... I better try to cover the rest of what I haven't covered. Oh well... I only have myself to blame... All the hibernation I have done when the polar bear me starts escaping into reality.

Let's consider I'm taking a break to relax my brain by blogging. I've just shared my blog URL on the Moodle platform which UCO is using as virtual classroom. I wonder if this is a good step. Maybe not-so wise. At this moment, I'm inviting stalkers to my site. Until further notice... Maybe in few days I will take down the URL. LOL. Not that I don't have a possible bunch of stalkers who love me enough to check me out. LOL. A little self-flattery is needed to keep me awake now.

So, WELCOME, to all first timers.

Oh yeah, I'm looking forward to Saturday night. I'm invited to another church for a gathering... there will be a few English-speakers there. It was good that I persevered and attended Adoremus just now. I attended the first day of obligation of this year after Advent! It's the Feast Day of Immaculate Conception. Attending Adoremus is one of the activities which I truly rejoice in, though many-a-times, I struggled to get on my feet to walk there. It lightens the burdens I felt as they accumulate when the week starts. Adoration and receiving Eucharist are always good food for soul.

So, God is good. And time to get back to studies...

Happy 2nd Sunday of Advent 2011

Blessed 2nd Sunday of Advent! I haven't written much these days - been a bit occupied with negative thoughts due to the coldness I face in where I am living. How I wish we're using normal room heater rather than central heating!!! I have to bear for another 3 months and LIBRE!!!! Yes, all these pent-up emotions have found their ways to kill my joy of awaiting Christ's coming this Christmas. So today, I want to prepare the way for the Lord to enter into my life once again. Even when it is tough, but my Jesus is tougher than the enemy.

So, my friends, let us prepare for Christmas together, even if it means we have to move mountains and cross oceans to clear the path to our hearts for Christ.

Yes, the TRUTH (JESUS) PREVAILS.

Feast of Christ the King

Today marks the final Sunday before Advent, which means in less 40 days we'll be celebrating the coming of this King who came down to earth to gather all His sheep in the form of a little Babe. Am I prepared? Are YOU prepared? Personally, I have to admit that I am not prepared to receive Him for my stable is empty and dirty. What about yours? 

Spring cleaning ought to have started when I started with my new chapter of life. But I procrastinated as always. Though I said I started a new chapter in life, but I brought along with me a heavy baggage - emotional baggage - which I should have worked out before I left Malaysia. For the past three months in Europe, I struggled with 101 things, the first of all struggles is being Christian. Many-a-times I was and am tempted to not go for mass for the fear of being teased as religious. People questioned me, "Why are you so conscious about what others think about you?" and I'm dumbfounded. I do care and and I wish I care not of what others think.

Many had expressed that I am weird, strange, awkward etc. All these brought hurt to my inner child, who wants justice to be done and impartiality in the world. The yearnings I have for an impartial and just world sometimes hurt me. Oh, I am being too ideal! That makes me weird. Being overly friendly makes others uncomfortable being around me. Respecting people with knowledge and enjoying my time spent with them causing me to be labeled as strange. What is the best option for me then?

Today, the feast of the King, my Savior Jesus, and I still commit a sin against the temple of the Holy Spirit, in my thoughts, in my mind, in what I've done, in what I've failed to do... And how is it that I should await joyously for the coming of my King? Yet, I know that every single thing I do, every single mistake I've done, God knows and all I need to do is to repent and return to His embrace. And He will embrace me tightly, telling me I'm loved no matter how much I have grieved Him.

This year is the first year after my renewal in 2006 that I am not taking part in serving the mass nor caroling. The separation I felt from my community drives me to tears so often as Christmas draws nearer. I know this is not from God that I should feel this intense loneliness, and it is self-seeking that I should feel this way. This year's theme is The Light of the World, and knowing that His Word is a light unto my path, I shall walk with certainty in this bleak world. One day, I will know the reason beyond this separation, and rejoice that I have pulled through this dark time.

Till then, I will have to hold on to the hope that He is my Shepherd and there is nothing I shall want (c.f. Psalm 23:1).

Finally....

Nope, this is not my bed room, nor it's my bed or desk. Just a random picture from Google Image. But I did what a serious interior designer would murder me for - ruining the interior design of my huge master bedroom to suit my very important needs. After returning from Manchester after a great and awesome weekend with Ms. Teoh, Dr. Vun and their adorable daughter, Cassandra, and also my dear sister Anne Mary, I sorta lost all motivation to study. Been attending classes religiously and going to lab practicals, but not revising or doing my homework...

As I reflected on my past habit of studying, I have a tendency of being on my bed when I read... Yet there is a need to use the reading desk somewhat. I always had my desk next to my bed when I was in the university dormitory, then when I moved to Kingfisher. Haha. Penny for my thought. I got up after a late-afternoon nap, moved the pile of stuffs from the desk to my bed, and PUSH! the desk is now next to my bed. HAHAHA!

I was everywhere these two months, but just too lazy to upload photos. People are buzzing me for photos actually... Maybe just few here and on FB at the moment :) I'll share about my travels later on :P

Anne and me in Whitworth Park, Manchester

Ms. Teoh, Dr. Vun and Cassandra, plus me