Two Weeks of Holidays..

It's the first Tuesday of the mid term + Raya break, and it feels like I've been having holiday forever. I'm currently blogging from my bro's old Dopod 818 Pro which I brought back with me to KK. A totally fabulous hand-me-down item I'd say, something comparative to a mini netbook, minus the keypad. It comes with wifi, and bluetooth, and infra red devices. Definitely something rare back in the year this phone was produced. Without a simcard, i can still access to internet on the newly installed opera mini. Kinda like it, but there are some errors in this system which requires some aid. High chance the phone has to undergo major brain surgery to get its Windows Mobile reformatted. Now that's tricky..

I'm supposed to be volunteering for the Archdiocesan Youth Festival (PBK) but I realize that things aren't right in my own life. I'm not going to bore you with details of what has gone wrong though. Let's see put it in simple format: God, work, relationships with others. The only thing that's alright and stable is family. Just got back from a weekend in Kluang for my dad's 1st death anniversary (25-29 August), things are ok at home, mom has the company of my relatives, especially my aunty, whose late husband was my mom's brother. So she's doing alright there. My bro's alright too, has a daytime job and some side business in collecting collector's shirts...
So what's with my relationship with God? I need Him more these days, but I sorta become mute after a meetup with a dear friend on National Day. I am put to test when he said I don't know what is real Christianity, and the truth of Salvation. So now I'm on the quest of truth and love as per Jesus' teachings. The 'self' is weak, often tempting me to care for 'self' instead of others. But my deliberate isolation from the previous group of people I used to hang out with is for the sake that I may see clearer of things in life without being judgemental and overly harsh on myself. My previous group of friends are certified good people, but I was crushed by their opinionated suggestions on how I should lead my life and what decisions I should make. So I take leave of the circle but still loving them all the same.
In this new phase of work, I've been tested all the time! From a simple complaint of a teenager leading to the mom's wrath upon me and the head of the school doing nothing but allowing his own staff be humiliated in front of him, to the shock of finding out how much certain individuals are trying to make me leave my workplace. It's no longer a place of joy. Yet ministering to the teens is such joy! Complicated and mixed I have here about my job, really. I do wonder why adults are so complicated! If only we all have the simple faith of a child of 3 years old, completely trusting our Father for protection. Instead, we tend to rely on our ownselves (self-reliance) and enjoy gossiping away our days. Backstabbing too. We do all these out of fear of losing our earthly treasures - position, money, etc. But what do we gain? A sure place of condemnation in hell if we don't repent.
God is love and all about placing us in His plan of salvation. Yet that doesn't mean He will not punish us for our wrongdoings. He sent Jesus to die for our sins, and by His resurrection we are saved. Yet again, our sins committed daily drag us away from Him who saves the world! So daily repentance is required. Our hearts are hardened by sins so sometimes it's hard for us to comprehend His love and the need for repentance plus discipline from God as we are His children. It's all for love...

So this is where I am at.

Pax vobiscum.

P/S: JOANNE, I miss your presence here. I'm glad you update your blog always. Have a great time in Melaka. God bless!