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Dear Tech Support.

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a slowdown in the performance of the flower and jewelry applications that had operated flawlessly under the Boyfriend 5.0 system.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.9, and installed undesirable programs such as NFL 7.4, NBA 3.2 and NHL 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 also no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simple crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do?

Signed,
Desperate

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Dear Desperate,

First, keep in mind that Boyfriend 5.0 was an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Try to enter the command C:\ITHOUGHTYOULOVEDME and install Tears 6.2. Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Guilt 3.3 and Flowers 7.5.

But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to such applications as Grumpy Silence 2.5, Reading Newspaper 7.0, or Watching Sitcoms 6.1. Please keep in mind that Watching Sitcoms 6.1 is an annoyingly disruptive program that will create SnoringLoudly.WAV files.

DO NOT install Mother-in-Law 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0. It could also potentially cause Husband 1.0 to default to the program Girlfriend 9.2, which runs in the background and has been known to introduce potentially serious viruses into the operating system.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and can't learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to enhance its system performance. I personally recommend Marriage for a Lifetime Seminar 3.0 and Marital Intensive 4.5 combined with such applications as that old standby... Lingerie 5.9 (which has been credited with improved performance of its hardware).

Good luck.

Tech Support

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Hope you enjoy the story and gain wisdom from it. Taken from the book "More than a Match" by Michael and Amy Smalley. Blessed weekend ahead!! ^^