Chronicles of the Wimpy Scientist: Big Brains or Big Data??

Chronicles of the Wimpy Scientist: Big Brains or Big Data??: My team and I have worked for the past few months to gather the best speakers and promote this upcoming conference (Friday, 27 June 2014...

Korean Lunch

Overcoming the fear to tell the "Man Above" of my thoughts though he doesn't quite share my passion to look into a more industrial-forensic-ish route of PhD project deserves a reward. For a while, I forgot the need to reward myself when I achieve a milestone, no matter how insignificant it seems to others. I need to start this once again. A proper sorting out of my messed up life I'd say. I ain't proud of the condition of my room. My coach used to tell me that the condition of my room/place I live tells the condition of my heart. Rather messed up state of heart I'd say. So, work out from the inside to the outside.

Step 1: Reward myself for facing him despite the fear. Walked into the Korean restaurant I passed by many times. Got a good lunch. Yay.

More steps to follow.

Homeless Drunk

As I'm invigilating in the college for an undergrad who is sitting for his final paper, I began thinking about what I experienced yesterday.

I had a long day. Upon saying goodbye to Pete who was flying home to Malta, I dropped by Sainsbury's for a much-needed food shopping. After that, I walked to the nearest bus stop to wait for the bus home. Usually there would be many people waiting for bus, but yesterday there was just me (and my groceries).

Then came a man, who from afar, I could hear him cursing at the passersby, angry and drunk. I was afraid but I remained there. Before he reached the bus stop, I muttered a prayer to Jesus asking Him to send the angels to protect me from harm. When he came near, and looked at me, suddenly he coughed so much so I offered him some apple juice which I bought from the store.

I knew how dangerous it was for me to speak to a homeless drunk who definitely didn't smell like fresh flowers but of stale beer, but the offer of fruit juice actually calmed him down from angrily shouting man to a very very sad person. I thought he wanted money so I told him I didn't have spare change, only fruit juice to offer, but he said he didn't want any. He kept reaching out his hand to me. When some people passed by and tried to shoo him away, he gave the excuse that he was waiting for a bus to them. Thank God for these people who were worried for my safety. For some reason unknown to myself, I reached out for his hand and gave a handshake while saying "God bless you!" My heart was filled with sadness when I looked at him. I asked if he has a place to stay and he said sometimes he sleeps at the park but last night he'd be seeing some friends. I asked about his family and he said he has a mother whom he hasn't seen for years. I told him to go for a visit. I had a feeling that nobody had spoken to him for a long time.

When my bus came and I said goodbye, I did wonder for a moment if I had represented Christ properly. I saw Jesus' sorrowful eyes in this man. I pray that this homeless guy will try to stay sober in future.

Life, These Days

My life these days has become extremely simplified. Besides the bugging knowledge that I have to produce some "results" to pass this 6-month hurdle, I'd need to pack enough knowledge to even start producing something. The pressure is helpful, but sometime can be derogatory and keeps me away from being productive. I need to channel this pressure in the more productive manner and start helping myself to help the man above to understand me. Right now, I'm kinda stuck with "the boss" who probably has difficulty to help me help myself.

Sorry, boss. My bad for not helping you to understand my learning habits.

I guess the best way is to produce a Gantt chart to help him understand why I am doing what I am doing and when I am doing it. I know I am still on the right track for now, but I am unsure if he knows that I know what I am doing and when I am doing it.

Source: http://www.docstoc.com/docs/52576338/Project-Timeline%C3%A2%E2%82%AC%E2%80%9DGantt-Chart---DOC

Tribute to Kaijian Lin

He was my ex-student some years back when I was teaching in a private high school. I didn't teach him any "serious subjects", so our communication was mainly an exchange of words during the times I met him in school foyer or when I got them rounded up for Youth Alpha.

A smart, A-star student, with excellent behaviour and humility. I was proud of his achievements and his big dream. Our last conversation was a few Facebook comments during his birthday and he mentioned his desire to study overseas one day. It isn't easy to find out that he's no longer in this world and the cause of death remains unknown. Many people who didn't know him took it at face value when news reported his case as being categorised as suicide by police. We who knew him know he's not that kind of person who'd seek death to deal with issues in life. I do hope that the police and forensics would find the truth and not brush it off just like that.

Kaijian, thanks for the encouragement you gave me on your birthday earlier this year. I pray that your soul will be at rest with God now and your family would be given a closure by the findings of your cause of death. May Jesus shine His light upon your soul and lead you home. Amen.

Relaunching my PhD Blog

I'm separating personal and work updates from now. I've officially relaunched my Wimpy Scientist blog, mainly for the purpose that I could track my progress, and note how far I've gone by the time I'm done with the thesis. And of course, the enhancement of the philosophical side of a doctoral degree student. PhD in sciences aren't awarded just on the Science part of it. Remember, it is a Doctor of Philosophy degree. Oh well...

Exactly a month ago I blogged about quality time management and how far off I was when it comes to managing my schedule to work. I was away for silent retreat in Isle of Wight during the Easter weekend, and the mail from my boss that "we need to talk" was nerve-wrecking throughout the weekend though I had spent some quality time with the Lord too. Once I got back, I somehow got a grip of reality, and with some decisions made about transportation, lifestyle, things got better.

Everything seems to be progressing, but I'd need more time to dwell in the realm of my #1 challenge right now - to get things started. I'm still interested in forensics, while my team works more on evolutionary biology. I'm looking at how I could fit this area into my team. More fun time to look forward for sure. I see this as a process of learning, though right now I do experience back pain (definitely a backbreaking hobby!) and muscle ache.

Time to waddle into the duvet tortoise shell.

Quality Time Management

This is my third month as a PhD student and I'm still struggling with time management. Living 30-40 minutes walk away from the department didn't help, nor in a room with dim warm white light instead of the norm of cold white light back in Malaysia. However, all hope is not lost, and I've been slowly deleting worries in my life to narrow down to the only priority of focusing on my PhD.

Since the change of time to British summer time, I've had hard time trying to wake up early. The earliest I could drag myself off the bed and not be groggy was an average of 10 am, and naturally I can only fall asleep at an average of 2.30 am. Today a success of waking up half an hour earlier than yesterday. A small step to my target of waking up at 8 am. Oh well... student life versus sleep = battle of the day!

This week the aim is to create quality time schedule. An hour or so of morning reading to gain knowledge of this vast but new field. A few hours at the department in the afternoon for to pick up computer skills. An hour or so in the evening for my literature review. The ultimate goal is by June I can start the real work for the project.

I was too anxious earlier on to start but having no skills is absolutely useless to be in that condition. Been there, done that. Though it seems to move relatively slowly, it doesn't mean I'm not progressing. I should learn by now to be gentler with myself. Being harsh and hard on myself doesn't really work. Maybe to some people, it does. This is for me. I'm sure you guys out there would also have your own formulae to complete your projects.

Anyway, this is just me, a first year PhD kid at Cambridge writing about the struggles.