Europe Countdown: Day 57

I am leaving on 8th August 2011. Today is 12th June 2011. There are 57 days left, including today. I shall try to blog as much as I could, counting down the everyday I have in Malaysia. I never thought I'd leave my homeland, but I have always yearned to know how it is like to live in another foreign country.

Indeed, God is good and He answers to our prayers. It is a prayer answered, though I have no inkling of what challenges are waiting for me after 8th August 2011. In fact, I don't have an idea what lies beyond today, or beyond this very minute. It sounds a bit depressing, but I know beneath the depression I'm experiencing right now, there is bubbling excitement. I am spending a lot of time alone this year, the loneliness is beyond comprehension at times. But it is also a time for me to wonder the reason of me being placed in such a condition. Did I choose to be alone and isolated? Or my mind has chosen to reduce the pain of leaving this place?

Gosh. Nine years ain't a short time. My youth I spent wandering in the desert of hope and love. Yet, I know I have been strengthened, even when I thought I did not change a single bit. Last night I met up with some friends whom I did not see for years. We moved on in our arena of lives, and we seem to live well without one another. Then, we were all linked together in a vicious cycle for three years or more, by one single person who wanted to conquer the best of both worlds. Yet, this person collapsed in the end and lives now in an automated world of making money as the sole purpose of life while being married to a lady who loves him like maniac. The other one is in his own imaginary world in a foreign land, while the two of us found Jesus respectively as we journey along the path of healing. We changed, for better or for worse. Definitely we no longer belong to the same vicious cycle. Thank God for the catching up, knowing that this friendship remains, but lives go on.

In less than 24 hours, school reopens and I have to ask for 3 days off from work because of my future plans. I can't really tell out loud, because it is not yet the time. Yet, those whom I am close to in real life I hope I have informed properly of the good news which also brings heartaches. Both side of the same coin, I kept reminding myself...

Happy Pentecost!

Today's bible verse for reflection:

"For surely I know the plans I have for you, says the LORD, plans for your welfare and not for harm, to give you a future with hope." (Jeremiah 29:11)